What We Have Become
by TVDFictionalReality
Summary: Post 5x22. Elena, Caroline, Stefan and Jeremy struggle to make sense of the loss of Damon and Bonnie. While some search for answers, others turn to dangerous and surprising new coping methods. As Alaric struggles with re-adjusting to the land of the living, Matt and Tyler struggle with a new reality in Mystic Falls. Based on recent interviews by Julie Plec. Rated M.
1. The Lightning Strike

**The Lightning Strike  
**_What if this storm ends, and I don't see you?  
____As you are now, ever again._

* * *

**Elena POV: **

As the volume of Icona Pop's latest new hit rose throughout the club, so did Elena's hands above her head. The eight tequila shots, followed by the four of her latest new friend, Jim Beam, had her feeling electric. Her hands found their way to her own hair as she moved her body and shook her head to the music. The alcohol was running through her veins just enough to keep her heart numb and her body alive. It was just the way she liked it.

Unlike the dozens of humans who surrounded her, she could never have enough alcohol. There would be no danger of poisoning her liver or her mind. She would wake up tomorrow hangover free and clear to repeat the act all over again and again. The only possible danger was the guilt from the sins she may commit tonight. But that is _why_, she reminded herself, the repetition was necessary.

The sudden familiar touch of a male frame appeared behind her. She felt his hands move to her hips as he began to grind and sway in rhythm to the song. Her hands slowly reached back above his head and moved to his hair as she pushed further into him and began to lean her head back onto his shoulder. He pulled her tighter to him as his hands crept up from her hips to across her stomach, his hips never losing the rhythm of the music. Her tight, black razorback shirt made it easy for him to begin placing a slow, steady stream of kisses along her bare shoulder and to the upmost sensitive part of her neck.

Her skin began to tingle as the familiar urges of desire, hunger, hate and longing all crept in at once. The alcohol was doing exactly what it should: erasing her guilt and fueling her intemperance. Tomorrow the pain, sadness and darkness would all return, but for tonight, there was nothing but freedom. She would embrace what she was and revel in it, just as he had taught her to do.

She slowly turned around and met his dark brown eyes – still so painfully unfamiliar, though she had seen them several times over the last six months. His smile and stare flooded with desire, a look that only made Elena feel sick and angry.

As their bodies continued to sway, his left leg suddenly began pushing its way between both of hers, grinding and slowly massaging that sensitive spot that fueled her need. She laced her hands behind his neck as she pulled him even closer. His forehead pressed into hers as they continued to sway, her breathing slowly increasing as his lips began to lean even closer into hers. Her fingers began to rise up into his short chestnut hair as she massaged his scalp. The lack of wavy, black locks sent a wave of pain to her chest.

Her lips crashed into his, desperate to erase the sudden thoughts. He responded by quickly bringing his hands to her face and pressing his lips more forcefully to hers. His lips were rough and did not fit with hers with the same ease that she was used to. She quickly parted her lips to welcome his tongue into her mouth as she attempted to speed things up. As he began to nip at her bottom lip instead, her impatience began to rise. She slowly pulled away as she began kissing along his jawline and made her way towards his neck.

Her buzz had her head and hands feeling loose, giving her the courage to begin rubbing her left hand slowly down his chest and along the hem of his jeans. She could feel his breath begin to quicken as he moved his lips to her upper neck and began to playfully suck on her earlobe.

The music blared on around them as the lights flickered and the dozens of people around them continued to dance, shout, drink and sing at the top of their drunken lungs. Elena pulled away slowly from his neck as her eyes watched a short blonde in front of them who held her drink high above her head as she danced.

If she was to successfully embrace this night, Elena needed just one more drink. She quickly reached forward and pulled the drink from the stumbling girl's hand. Her vampire speed had her drinking the cherry flavored vodka and returning it back to the girl's hand in the blink of an eye. For a moment, the girl appeared slightly confused, but quickly shook it off and continued to dance.

Returning her attention back to the man in front of her, who continued to sway with the music while simultaneously kissing her ear, Elena once again felt the familiar pangs of loathing and desire. She needed him. He was her distraction: a delicious distraction that she had trained well.

She felt the veins forming over her eyes and the familiar sharp fangs descending behind her lip. In a smooth, quick motion, she felt her teeth pierce deep into his carotid artery. He let out a quiet moan as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck to steady him, and shield her face from the crowd, as she drank.

The blood, mixed with the alcohol currently flooding her system, was euphoric. She felt her arousal finally beginning to kick in as the thick, hot liquid ran down her throat, filling her with a craving to be satisfied in everyway possible.

When she finally released him and pulled away, he hardly missed a beat before his lips were once again on hers. The compulsion was just as strong as ever, forcing him to want her even more every time she fed on him.

The next thing she knew, they were tumbling down an ugly deserted corridor plastered with graffiti, and into the men's bathroom. As he locked the door behind them she hopped up onto the sink and began pulling her shirt up and over her head. In a flash, he was standing between her legs as his lips began to run from her lips, to her jaw and neck, down to her chest. He quickly unhooked her bra and, as soon as it was off, began to cup and gently caress each nipple. She let out a soft moan as his lips finally replaced where his hand had been.

Just as she wrapped her legs around his waist and had thrown her head back in preparation for him to begin moving farther south, he paused and moved back up to face her.

His hands were suddenly caressing her face as he looked into her eyes. She could begin to feel her blood boil in frustration as he spoke.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered.

"And you're not allowed to talk," she whispered back as she tried to re-route his attention back to removing her jeans.

"I'm serious," he stated again. "We could be more than just fuck-buddies, you know?" he smiled playfully as he moved a stray stand of her hair behind her ear.

Elena could feel her cheeks beginning to burn in anger. She was seeking pleasure, not pillow talk, and certainly nothing 'more' than just fuck-buddies. She did not want to be looked upon with loving and adoring eyes, and she certainly did not want to _make love_ to anyone other than one person. And that person was gone.

"How about you stop talking, or I'll kill you," she smirked threateningly as she locked eyes with him.

He smiled. "Alright," he agreed as the compulsion took over. Elena felt slightly guilty, but not enough to dismantle their arrangement. When she had met him six months ago she was in a dark place, and yet, he had still found her intriguing enough to try and sleep with her. At the time, the idea of sleeping with anyone else had made her entire body radiate with remorse and sadness, but as time had gone on, she had found that the meaningless sex mixed with the blood and alcohol indulgences were, quiet literally, the only way she could escape the eternal dark cloud that seemed to surround her every day.

So she had taken a book out of the Katherine Pierce playbook and compelled him. He recognized her anytime he saw her, but instantly forgot her every time she left. She never forced him to be at the same places at the same time as she was, and yet, he always seemed to find her. But then again, there were only so many bars the students could go to around Whitmore.

As far as she could tell though, he was enjoying every minute of it. Or at least, that's what she had forced herself to believe in order to shed the constant reemerging guilt. She had made a deal with herself months ago to finally begin acting the way a vampire was supposed to act, and that meant, learning to face the consequences of the inevitable havoc she would surely bring upon herself and her loved ones. At least the list was getting smaller and smaller.

The thought made her stomach churn. She had to forget. Everything.

Fed up with his slow and steady pace, Elena took it upon herself. She quickly tore his shirt away from his body, and then raced to undo the button on his jeans. In a flash, she had both of their pants on the floor. He attempted one last time to kiss her slowly and glide his fingers across her slick folds before easing into her, but she wouldn't have it.

In one swift motion she again wrapped her legs around his waist and forced him into her. A moan of pleasure escaped both of their lips as she threw her head back against the mirror in relief at the sudden distraction. Everything about him still felt wrong and unfamiliar, but at least it forced her to feel something.

He always wanted to be gentle and take the time to let his hands stray to her waist, breasts and cheekbone, but she'd have none of it. Even when he'd pull away and make the offer to pleasure her most sensitive areas with just his tongue, she refused. There was no beauty in this. It was just sex and was just a means to forget. He was the distraction that would take her to a place that alcohol could not reach, and when it was over, she would forget about him until the next time.

His moan was slow and deep as he pulled out and then quickly buried himself deep back into her. She moved to the edge of the counter and arched her back slightly so that he could finally begin to reach that sweet spot that would get her to where she needed to be. Their breaths continued to quicken as he continued to plunge deeper and faster with every movement. She gasped as she felt his teeth scrape across her neck causing her legs to tighten.

He released a low growl that was full of desire as she finally felt the familiar waves of pleasure beginning to build. She griped tightly onto his forearm, as if commanding him not to stop. As her orgasm finally built to the point of boiling over, her moans overtook her and she all but screamed at him to fuck her harder. She felt his forearm and pectoral muscles tighten just as the victorious waves of pleasure shot through her entire body. He rode out her orgasm as they both gasped and panted, exhaustion overtaking them both.

She wanted to stay in the moment. Not because it was with him, and certainly not because it was the best she'd ever had – not even close. No, she wanted to savor the feeling because it was the only few seconds of the day that her brain was not completely numb and oblivious to everything and everyone else around her. She was not ready to release the high, and quickly pulled him closer one more time. She needed just one more sip.

As she sank her fangs down deep into his neck and the blood flowed over her tongue, she again felt the elevated, exultant feeling that only a vampire will ever know. The feeling of power, desire, pleasure and control all at once.

The high of her release suddenly came crashing down at the sound of loud banging on the bathroom door.

"Hurry up in there!" shouted an angry voice.

She quickly pulled away from him as her conscience began to catch up with her buzz. She hopped off the counter and they both quickly dressed. As she caught her reflection in the mirror, she couldn't help but to stare in amazement as the blood trickled down her chin. She honestly didn't even recognize herself anymore.

"Here," she said as she bit into her own wrist and offered it to him. "Drink."

He did as told and, within a few seconds, was completely healed of all the damage she had done to him.

"Now get out of here and forget about this until I see you again."

He nodded a sad smile. "I'll see you around, Elena." He turned and then quickly exited the bathroom.

"Bye," she paused as she remembered their agreement. She did not now or ever wish to know his name.

She refused to let another man's name ever slip through her lips through a drunken, hazy, one-night stand. At the end of the day, there was only one person she loved and one person alone who could truly end her pain and misery.

Damon. It was always going to be Damon.


	2. Look After You

**Look After You  
**_There now, steady love, so few come and don't go  
__Will you, won't you, be the one I'll always know?_

* * *

**Alaric's POV: **

He knew better than to expect her to be here, but still, he couldn't help but search the house.

For nearly three months in a row, Elena hadn't spent a single night at home. It was always the same thing: she'd leave early in the evening and not return until around midafternoon when she needed a shower or a fresh change of clothes.

When he'd decided to rent out a three-bedroom house near the campus, he'd assumed they could all start fresh. Maybe even be a family again as Elena and Jeremy both finished their education at Whitmore. But nothing had been the same since Damon and Bonnie's death.

For three months, Elena hardly left her bed and Jeremy hardly spoke. Sometime after that, he'd pretty much stopped seeing them all together. Jeremy had refused to apply to the same college that had tortured his sister and caused his former girlfriend so much pain, and Elena attended so infrequently, he was surprised they hadn't kicked her out. Never before had he known a 1.32 GPA could exist, but leave it to Elena to continually surprise him.

Regardless of how dysfunctional and outlandish their situation had become, however, he knew that they all needed each other. Though they often had difficulty expressing their gratitude, he knew deep down, none of them could survive without the help and support of the other.

Though he was having a particularly difficult time in re-adjusting back to the land of the living, he was trying his best to keep it together. Neither Jeremy nor Elena could probably handle it if he flew off the rails anytime soon, and with the white oak stake being the only weapon able to kill him, the town probably couldn't handle it either. Thankfully, a very forgiving, and open-minded, Caroline had taken on the dutiful role as his teacher.

Every morning, she'd bring over a fresh supply of blood bags for breakfast as well as a few new tips and tricks for vamp behavior 101. She'd even somehow convinced Liv to make him a daylight ring.

All in all, things had pretty much returned to normal. Returning home to Mystic Falls had been out of the question for everyone except Matt, Jeremy and Tyler, but he couldn't say that he minded too much. With as much pain and darkness that had surrounded them all in that town, he had to admit, it was kind of nice to have a change of scenery. Even though it was killing Elena to not be able to return to the Salvatore house and collect Damon's things, he contritely knew it was probably for the best.

Elena wasn't the only one who had lost someone. It had been hard to finally return from the Other side only to lose his best friend in the process. Not to mention he'd been walking around for months now with the guilt of being the last to return when it should have been Damon. Elena had lost so many people, but to watch her lose her best friend and boyfriend all in the same night had been almost unbearable.

He'd listened to her cry herself to sleep for months. Sometimes she'd plead and beg for Damon to return. Other nights she'd just talk as if he was still there, listening to every word. Ric truly wanted to believe that he was. He still couldn't believe that the Other side had just completely disappeared, but it had. He had literally watched hundreds of people get sucked into nothingness. Surely, that hadn't happened to his best friend? Surely, he and Bonnie had found a way to escape? Or at least find peace?

He'd wrestled with the thoughts and hopes for months, but in the end, always came up short. There was no way to ever know what had happened, and ultimately, the not knowing had been the hardest pill to swallow.

The sound of the front door opening pulled him from his thoughts as he made his way downstairs. "Elena?" he called from the landing.

"Nope just me," smiled a bright and cheery Caroline as she sat her bag on the dining room table and pulled from it a fresh supply of blood bags. "Thank goodness the nursing department was having a blood drive this morning because I'm seriously running out of hospitals to rob in this town."

"Hey Care," Ric smiled gratefully as he took the bags and placed them into the fridge. "I was just about to make some coffee," he said as he made his way towards the machine on the counter. "Would you like some?"

"No thanks," smiled Caroline. "I've got to get to class. I just thought I'd come by to give you those and see if you'd heard from Elena," she paused, "or Stefan, or Jeremy, or Matt, or Tyler or anyone really?" she said with a hopeful, yet annoyed smile as she attempted to mask her sadness.

"He still hasn't called, huh?" Ric asked as he pressed the button with the picture of the tallest cup of coffee on his new Keurig machine. It had easily become one of his favorite new devices since his return.

She shrugged her shoulders, immediately understanding the 'he' he was referring to. "No," the frustration evident in her voice. "I just don't understand why you would just leave without telling anyone where you're going! I mean, who does that?" she shouted at Ric, though he knew the 'you' she was referring to was not presently in the room.

"I know he lost his brother, but the best place to be when you're grieving is here, with friends. This is our chance to start over and re-build," she continued on, her irritation causing her to ramble. "He doesn't call. He doesn't write. I mean, it's not like he's the only one that lost someone!" she finished sadly.

Ric nodded as he pulled his hot cup of coffee to his lips. "I'm sure he just needed some time. He'll call when he's ready."

Caroline nodded, but the look of sadness was still unmistakably written on her face. Ric took a seat at the dining table and nodded at the empty seat, indicating that she should join him. She hesitated and then slowly sat down in defeat. She placed her head in her hand as she took a moment to soak up the morning Fall sunlight that was beaming through the window.

"Stefan lost the two most important people in his life that night,"

"But," Caroline tried to chime in.

"And I know that you just want to help," continued Ric patiently, "but the best thing for Stefan right now is to just take some time to process. The last thing he needs is to be back in this town where he _died_. Where _they_ died. Trust me. That vampire survivals guilt is a pretty hard thing to overcome."

"You're still feeling guilty?"

Caroline had been the only person he'd confided in since his return. "Some days are better than others," he smiled unconvincingly.

"We've been through this," Caroline said gently. "You had no way of knowing that you would be the last one through, and even if you did and wanted to let Damon go ahead of you, Bonnie grabbed _you_. She saved you! Don't let that be in vain. Elena and Jeremy need you."

Ric looked down at his coffee cup and then out the window. He raised his hand to his scruffy face as he thought about the Gilberts. "I'm not sure what they need right now, but I don't think it's me."

Caroline's expression quickly changed back into sympathetic mode. "It is," she quietly assured him. "Having you back in their lives means so much and even if they can't say it out loud yet, they're really glad you're back."

They both exchanged a small smile.

"Besides, if I can't give up on Stefan, you're not allowed to give up on Elena and Jeremy," she said as she quickly took his coffee cup and took a sip. "Deal?"

Ric smiled as he reached over and took his cup back. "Deal."

Caroline made a satisfied nod and then slowly stood and grabbed her bag as she prepared to leave. Just as she reached the door, she stopped and turned back around. "Do you at least think he's okay? Stefan, I mean? Where do you think he is?"

Ric chuckled as he stood and made his way over to the sink to deposit his empty mug. "I bet he's on the back of that motorcycle of his riding along the California coast. At least, that's where I'd be."

Caroline couldn't help but giggle at the thought. "Well he better not stay there too much longer or that helmet is going to totally ruin his hero hair."

Ric laughed at the thought.

"I'll let you know if I hear anything," he concluded with a smile.

"Same," she nodded, and with one last goodbye smile, she turned and headed back out the door.

Ric stood over the sink as he stared out the window at the beautiful day. It was a shame he still didn't trust himself to be out in public alone. Though he'd made tremendous strides over the last few months, he wasn't sure just how far he was willing to put himself to the test. All it would take is one scrapped knee in the park, or one paper cut in a shop and hello evil Ric, bye-bye human.

He shivered at the thought.

Thankfully, the sound of his cellphone buzzing on the table pulled him from his gruesome thoughts. When he reached it, he couldn't help but feel slightly shocked and nervous by the caller ID. The only time Jeremy called was if there was some kind of emergency.

"Jer?" he answered. "Everything okay?"

An annoyed sigh flooded the other end. "It's Elena again. Liv called."

Frustration and sadness began to creep into Ric's tone as well. "Not again," he groaned.

"Look, I'd go get her, but I'm kind of in the middle of something. Do you mind?"

"What are you doing?" Ric asked concerned.

"Don't worry, nothing deadly or dangerous," mocked Jeremy, slightly amused by Ric's resurfaced parental tones.

"Alright," sighed Ric in frustration by the lack of answers, but unwilling to press the matter. "I'll go get her. Just be careful, okay?"

"Will do," Jeremy paused. "Oh and Ric?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell Elena I'll be there tonight, so she should plan to stay home."

"Really?" asked Rick slightly shocked.

Jeremy paused again. "Yeah, I think some family time would be good for everyone."

Ric nodded, thinking of his and Caroline's earlier conversation. "I think that would be great," he smiled. "I'll tell her."

"Okay, talk to you later."

"Bye," said Ric before ending the call.

The word 'family' had not been uttered in their home since he had been back. Jeremy's statement had finally given him the confidence and hope he needed to prove that the rebuilding was possible.

He just hoped Elena would be as easily persuaded.


	3. Wonderwall

**Wonderwall  
**_And all the roads we have to walk are winding  
__And all the lights that lead us there are blinding_

* * *

**Stefan's POV:**

Why had it taken him so long to get here? Lexi had been absolutely right. He had needed this, probably even more so than he'd originally thought. The only thing that could possibly make it better, was if she were here with him, both her _and_ Damon.

The thoughts of them forced him to automatically speed up as he pulled the clutch in and kicked up to the sixth and final gear. He held the throttle tightly as he sped down I-5 along the Willamette River. As the clouds rolled in, he took a deep breath in an effort to appreciate the clarity Portland had brought him.

It had taken everything he'd had to not instantly flip his humanity switch the moment he'd lost his brother and closest friend (for the second time). The last three years had been filled with nothing but pain and darkness. He'd lost so many people, including himself, along the winding, intricately complicated road they'd found themselves on, and he just wasn't sure he could stand the idea of ever going back. Sure, he'd found love and friendship, but ultimately, he'd lost them too.

Nearly six months had passed since he'd set foot in Mystic Falls. A few days after the Other side had disintegrated, and after the small funeral Caroline insisted they all attend, he'd made the decision it was finally time to leave. There was nothing left for him there and the idea of staying had left him with nothing but a knot in his chest.

Leaving Caroline had been hard. She had easily become his closest companion over the last year, but he figured that was gone now. There was absolutely no way she'd forgive him after he had just up and left without a proper goodbye.

He had wanted to tell her.

He had wanted to explain where he was going and why, but on the morning he woke up to leave, he realized it was now or never, and he couldn't take a chance on her trying to talk him out of it. He knew she would have begged him to stay, insisting that she and Elena and Alaric all needed him. But that was the problem. There was always something standing in his way and there was always some crisis to be solved.

No. This time, he had to do what was best for him. He could no longer put Elena's needs before his own. He could no longer play the role of the hero who held all the answers when this time, he himself needed them more than anyone.

For someone who had spent the better part of a century hating his brother, he sure couldn't explain why losing Damon had hit him so hard, but it had. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd told him he cared about him, or the last time he'd apologized for letting so many things come between them over the years. In the end, none of it had even mattered. When Katherine and Elena had both abandoned him, ultimately, all he'd had left was his brother, but at the time, he'd been to blind with rage to acknowledge it.

Although some days his rage had, and still did, feel justified.

He recalled the day he'd sat along the banks of the Mississippi river on his way through Missouri. He'd spent the better part of the afternoon completely engulfed in rage as he thought back to the day Damon had killed Lexi. Stefan suddenly became reminded of the incredibly selfish and malicious person Damon had once been. How he had once forced him over the edge by begging him to feed on that girl in 1912, how he had abandoned him on a train platform in the middle of world war 2, how he had manipulated and hurt Caroline, Vicky, Bonnie, Matt, Mason, Jeremy and even Elena and yet, she had still somehow managed to fall in love with him.

But then, somewhere between the sunset and sunrise, he'd eventually remembered all of the horrible things he had _equally_ done.

How he had betrayed his brother's trust as he told their father about Katherine. How he had forced Damon to transition into a vampire and how, he himself, had relished in it while Damon had tried to teach him control, resulting in him killing more people than Damon probably ever had. He thought of Damon sitting alone in an Augustine jail cell, waiting for him to come and find him. How he had, selfishly, never even bothered to care that his brother had been missing for the better part of five years.

Somewhere over the last three years, he'd watched Damon grow and transform. The cold and detached person he'd once known had been converted into someone who would do anything to protect the people he cared about. Including sacrificing himself to save his own brother.

The answer to the change was simple. He'd fallen in love.

The sound of a honking horn brought his attention back to Portland. He quickly looked up to see the light had changed to green and began to speed up and away from the SE Morrison Bridge and further down Washington Street as he made his way towards Yur's, his favorite new dive bar.

Portland had truly embraced him, and for that he was grateful. He had enjoyed the vibrant locals, impressive music scene, incredible food carts, and endless supply of breweries and pubs. But as he walked through the door of Yur's, he quickly spotted the real reason he had stayed as long as he had.

"'Bout time stranger!" she shouted as her chocolate brown eyes looked up from the beer she was currently pouring. After she had finished, she slid it down the bar to the disgruntled looking gentleman a few feet down, and began to make her way towards him.

"Sorry, traffic was kind of a nightmare," Stefan quickly apologized as he reached down to hug her small 5'5 frame.

"That's fine. You can make it up to me by racking the first round," she said with a smirk as she pulled away and nodded her head towards the pool table.

"Haven't you embarrassed me enough?" he smiled playfully.

"Not even close," she said with a wink as she turned back towards the bar and pulled out from behind it two pint glasses.

As she filled them with Bridgeport, his favorite India Pale Ale, he made his way to the table and began to rack in preparation for a game he new he would lose. Though he'd always considered himself a master pool player, he'd quickly found out his skills were trivial in comparison to Jessa's.

"Come on slow-poke!" she shouted as she returned and sat the glasses on a nearby table. "I thought vamps were supposed to be fast!"

"Shh," he hissed playfully as he put his finger to his lips. "And I thought witches were supposed to be secretive!"

"Relax!" she laughed as she grabbed a pool stick and prepared to break. "Everyone in here's either too drunk to remember anything or too old to even hear it," she indicated towards the old men who sat at the bar trying to hit on her manager Sara, a spunky, tall blonde covered from head-to-toe in some of the most intricate tattoo artwork Stefan had ever seen. She'd been kind enough to take over the bar every time Stefan came in so that he and Jessa could hang out, as long as she promised to return if things got too busy.

"Yeah, yeah. I still think you have a secret fantasy of everyone in Portland finding out." He recalled the time she'd used telekinesis instead of a lighter to ignite a customer's Flaming Gorilla shot. Luckily, the consumer was already way too drunk to have noticed.

"Well, it _would_ be good for business," she deadpanned as she admired her shot of hitting in three solids. She moved to the other side of the table, tucked a loose strand of her long copper-brown hair behind her ear, and prepared to shoot again.

Stefan smiled as he took a sip of his beer. "Speaking of business, I believe you owe me a favor."

"Damn, can't even let a girl finish her beer before you're already making demands!"

As she missed the shot, Stefan stood to finally take his turn. "Hey now, fair is fair. We had a deal."

She smiled as she took a long sip of her beer. "Technically, you didn't talk to her, so I'd say the deal's off."

"No, the deal was that I'd find you a witch in the Parker Coven, which I did. We never agreed that I had to talk to Caroline to do so," he smirked as he hit the white ball, forcing it to send the striped 10 into the corner pocket.

"You're going to have to call her eventually," Jessa smirked as she watched him try to ignore her as he concentrated on his next shot.

"I'm sure she fine," he paused to shoot. "She has Tyler now. I'm sure they're working things out now that he's no longer a hybrid."

Jessa rolled her eyes as she took back the pool stick after he missed his shot. "You know that's a load of crap, right? But whatever helps you sleep at night."

Stefan had to laugh at her snarky-ness as he took another drink of his beer. "But anyway," he drug the last word out, changing the subject. "Luke said he's never met or even heard of Abby Bennett. The odds are, she left town after Bonnie's death. But why does it matter? She's a vampire now. She can't help us with any magic."

"No, but as the daughter of Sheila and a former member of the Bennett Coven, she would know where to find another one," sighed Jessa in disappointment.

"Again," asked Stefan still confused, "why does it matter?"

"Because if there was any hope that your friend Bonnie was spared when the other side came crumbling down, it would be due to a deal made with witches," she sighed in frustration as she re-examined the table. "And not just any witches."

"Bennett witches," Stefan finished.

"Yup," she said annoyed as she resumed the game and took a shot, sinking in the orange 3.

"And why do you need Luke or Liv? What does the Parker Coven have to do with anything?" he asked as he examined her intently over his beer.

"Because in addition to the Parker's being one of the strongest Coven's in the country, Luke died and was then brought back from the other side."

Stefan watched her as she shot again, this time sinking in the green 6. When he didn't speak, she looked up to again see his brows still furrowed in confusion.

"God have you not kept up with anything this entire summer?" she smiled playfully. "When a witch dies violently, like Luke did, they leave traces of their magic behind. When they're resurrected, there's a pretty good chance they left traces behind in the other side as well."

"But the other side is gone," stated Stefan as he took the pool stick and aimed for the 15 ball.

"Yes, but if there's anything still left, or even a clue as to what's over there, he'd be the only one able to tell us."

"So you mean there's a way he can still connect with the piece of his soul that's still over there and see what happened?" He thought back to the time Bonnie had held a foothold in both our world and the other side as she temporarily killed herself in an effort to spare Elena the fate of vampirism.

"Possibly, but if not, that's why we need a Bennett witch," she sighed as she took a seat on the bar stool and finished the last of her beer. "Only another Bennett witch could connect with Bonnie and tell us if she survived."

"And possibly Damon," Stefan said softly as he too took a seat on the bar stool next to her, abandoning the game altogether.

Jessa tried to give him a hopeful smile, although he knew she had no way of knowing anymore than he did. While he truly believed Bonnie would have done everything in her power to save Damon, it was possible that her coven would not.

"And possibly others," Jessa said hopefully with a sad smile.

Stefan nodded. She still hadn't told him exactly who it was she was hoping had been saved, but he knew they were important, and his heart ached with hope for her.

"Why are you helping me?" Stefan said quietly, unsure if he really wanted the answer or not. When he had sought her out four months ago, he had no idea she would quickly grow to become someone he genuinely cared about.

"Why wouldn't I?" she said with a small smile as she rolled her empty pint glass on the table mindlessly. "You and I are both supernatural. We've both lost people we care about who are on the other side, and the only way to save them _and_ us is to figure out a way to either put it back, or assure a way that we'll all find whatever peace it is that's out there."

Stefan nodded sadly. He realized why he'd become friends with Jessa so quickly. He'd rarely met anyone in his life that was so openly honest and kind hearted. Well, none that didn't use it to mask an evil, hidden agenda anyway.

"I have to go back now," he said with a frown as he stared down at the glass she was rotating before looking back up to meet her eyes. "Don't I?"

She smiled as she finally sat the glass down and took ahold of his hand. "You're the only person I've ever met who's known members of both the Bennett and Parker coven. If you think I'm not coming with you, you're crazy."


	4. Ordinary World

**Ordinary World  
**_I turned on the lights, the TV, and the radio,  
__Still, I can't escape the ghost of you  
__What has happened to it all?  
Crazy, some would say  
Where is the life that I recognize?  
Gone Away_

* * *

**Elena's POV:**

_Why was she here? She didn't want to be here! She frantically began to run as she attempted to put as much distance between her and the headstone that read, 'Damon Salvatore,' as possible. _

_She quickly glanced behind her to make sure she was making headway, but as soon as she turned back around, she tripped. When she looked down to see the culprit that had caused her collision, she gasped in fear as she realized she was exactly back where she had started. _

"_No," she whispered as a tear began to fall. "Stop! I don't want to be here!" she shouted at the headstone as she stood and, again, attempted to flee the cemetery. _

"_Elena!" _

_She stopped dead in her tracks just as she reached the entrance gate. She knew that voice. _

"_Damon?" she said softly as she slowly looked around the cemetery. No one was there. She had to have imagined it. _

_Just as she was about to continue her journey out the gate, she heard it again. _

"_Elena, wait."_

_She froze. She could feel the presence of someone standing behind her. As she slowly turned around, shock, fear, and joy all began to flood her face. _

"_Hey pretty girl," he said with a beautiful smile that she hadn't seen in way too long. _

"_Damon?" she said as tears began to flood her eyes. Before he could even respond, she had her arms wrapped around his neck. She could actually touch him; feel him. She felt his arms wrap around her waist. _

"_How is this happening?" she choked through the tears. She suddenly pulled away and held her hands to his face, holding onto both sides of his cheeks intently as she looked into his eyes. "How are you here?"_

"_Does it matter?" smiled Damon as he brought his hands to her hair and face as well. _

_She smiled and shook her head. "No," she whispered before quickly resuming the hugging of his neck. _

"_I don't have much time baby," he said softly into her ear as he continued to stroke her hair. _

"_What are you talking about?" she pulled away again, starting to feel the anxiety building in her chest. She began to rub her hands up and down his arms, desperate to continue touching him. "Where are you going?"_

"_I can't stay."_

"_No," she began to cry as she squeezed his forearm and then reached for his hand. "Of course you can. You're back! You found a way! It means it's possible! We can bring you ba,"_

"_Elena," he cut her off. "I'm not here to talk about me."_

_She looked at him confused as he gently squeezed her hand. Suddenly, she felt herself being transported. In the blink of an eye, the cemetery had disappeared. Hardwood floors had suddenly replaced the softness of the wet, cemetery grounds. The sound of clinking glass came behind her. She looked over her shoulder and couldn't help but gasp as she looked upon herself. She was sitting on a barstool, passed out on her own arm across the bar, her hair a tangled mess across her face. Liv worked behind her shelving freshly washed pint glasses, completely undaunted. _

"_Man, what a night, huh?" smirked Damon behind her. She quickly looked back at him, confused as to how they had gotten here and what was happening. "I gotta admit," he continued as he stepped around her and made his way to examine the current unconscious version of herself, "the new you really knows how to party."_

"_How did we get here?" she asked confused. _

"_Well, I'll tell you," he said as he smiled back at her. "It started by you completely going off the rails and shutting everyone out, and then it finished with you taking advantage of that poor, innocent, though completely douchey frat guy, and then drowning your guilty little guts in massive amounts of tequila and bourbon. Did I miss anything?"_

_The sudden realization of how she'd behaved the night before came crashing down on her like a ton of bricks. Her cheeks began to burn as the shame and guilt flooded her expression. _

"_Damon, I," _

"_No need to apologize," he said with a smile as he slowly walked back towards her and began to run his hands along her arms. _

"_I thought I was never going to see you again," she said sadly and ashamed. _

_He nodded sadly as he looked into her eyes. "I know." He slowly lowered his forehead and leaned it against hers. _

"_Please don't ever leave me again," she whispered as she gripped tightly onto the back of his shirt and leaned her lips closer to his. _

_He didn't respond, but just let out a sigh. "You know I'm always with you, right?"_

_She felt a tear escape behind her eye as it drifted down her cheek. _

"_Please stay. I can't survive without you. I don't want to," she whispered softly._

"_I can't stay baby," he whispered as he ran his hands through her hair. "I just came to tell you it's going to be okay," he paused as a smile appeared across his face. "And to tell you that, as someone who was once the master at self-destruction, I highly, highly recommend you don't follow in my footsteps."_

_She let out a small, sad laugh. "But you taught me so well," she said playfully as she moved her hand up to run it through his hair. _

"_I know," he said with a smirk. "And as appealing as I made everything look," he paused as he looked back at the passed out version of herself, "that's really not a good look for you, and you are way to beautiful to not have a good look."_

_She couldn't help but grin at him as she again pulled him into a hug. She would never be able to touch him enough. "How are you here?" she whispered. "Is this even real?"_

_Damon smiled as he placed a light kiss on her forehead. "Consider it like a hall pass. I had to come make sure you were going to be okay." _

_She looked up at him confused. "So what, you're like my guardian angel now?" she giggled playfully. _

_He grinned down at her. "Something like that." _

_As she continued to hold onto him tightly, she felt him let out a long sigh._

"_Elena, listen," he said finally releasing her and pulling away. "I know that you're still in a lot of pain, but I need you to find a way to be okay," he again held onto her face, as he looked deep into her eyes that were beginning to flood with tears. "I need you to let Ric and Jeremy back in. Spend time with your family. Finish school. Go see the world. Fall in love again," the last words seemed to be hard for him to say. "Please, don't become this person. I need you to let me go."_

_Elena let out a sob as she shook her head. "I can't, Damon. Please don't leave me again."_

"_You're going to be okay."_

"_No Damon!" she began to beg as she gripped onto his shirt tighter. "We found a way to bring Jeremy back, and Bonnie and Stefan! We always find a way. You and me always survive. Just please, tell me what to do!"_

_He shook his head in sadness, as he held onto her face tighter. "Elena, listen to me," he pleaded. "The only way for us to,"_

_But he was cut off. She suddenly felt as if the world was spinning and he was being ripped from her hands. She tried to hold onto him tighter, desperate to keep him with her longer. _

"_Damon?" she shouted. Wind and fog seemed to swirl all around her, making her feel dizzy and uncertain. _

"_Damon!" _

"Elena?" came a distant voice. She felt too dazed and groggy to even contemplate trying to respond.

"Elena?" it called again. This time, she felt a slight shake of her shoulders as her head suddenly rolled off of the pillow that was her arm and hit the bar. Her eyes suddenly opened as the blurry outline of Ric appeared in front of her.

"Hey there stranger," he said with a sympathetic smile as her eyes began to slowly adjust to the bright, late-morning sunlight streaming in through the windows.

"Ric?" she asked confused as she slowly raised her pounding head from the bar. So much for vampires not getting hangovers, she thought. Exactly how much _had_ she had to drink?

"That'll be nine hundred dollars and seventy-four cents please," came Liv's irritated voice in front of her as she slapped down a bar tab.

Elena gaped at her in shock. "Nine hundred dollars! I spent nine hundred dollars on alcohol last night!"

"And seventy-four cents," added Ric with a smirk.

"How is that even possible?" she said as she raised her hand to her forehead to begin massaging her temple.

"Well, in addition to all of your Jägerbombs, Red Royals, shots of bourbon and tequila, you also bought the entire bar a round of shots," she paused. "Twice."

Elena let out a painful groan as she again lowered her head to her arm. Damon was right; she was completely out of control. She paused and then quickly lifted her head.

Damon.

"Ric," she said suddenly feeling a new burst of energy. "Damon! I saw Damon!"

Ric looked from Liv and then back to her, his expression solemn. "Elena, you obviously had way too much to drink. Why don't we get you home?"

"No, I'm serious," she said as she quickly attempted to stand. Her legs felt incredibly shaky and it took her a moment to obtain her balance.

She looked around the bar and came to the spot where they had been standing before he had been ripped away from her. "He was here," she indicated to the spot. "Right here!"

Ric remained seated on the bar stool as he ran a hand through his hair. He then turned back to Liv. "Look, what do you say we just let it slide this one last time?" He pleaded.

Liv shook her head furiously. "No way. I've covered for you guys all summer. She has literally been drinking the bar dry. Not to mention what she's been doing to the bathroom! I mean, how many times can I explain the broken sinks and mirrors to my manager?"

Ric looked back at Elena, the look of shock and amusement clearly evident on his face.

"You guys aren't hearing me!" Elena continued to plead, ignoring their annoyingly trivial conversation. "Damon was here! He talked to me! I held him," she felt the tears again forming in her eyes.

Alaric and Liv both stared at her, unsure of what to say.

"Fine," Liv said softly back to Ric, noticeably understand what he was dealing with. "But this is the last time. I swear. You guys owe me big!"

"Absolutely! It won't happen again, I promise. Right? Right, Elena?" he said turning to her. But she wasn't listening. She was instead; kneeling to the spot she had previously insisted Damon had been, sobs radiating from her body.

"Aw, Elena," said Ric with a much gentler tone as he made his way towards her and helped to lift her back to her feet. "We're going to get through this, okay?" he tried to lift her chin up, but she instead pulled her face away, unable to look at him.

"He was here," she continued to sob. "I held him in my arms. It was real."

He pulled her into a tight hug as she continued to cry on his shoulders. After a few moments, she could feel her body beginning to give out. Whether from exhaustion or depression, she wasn't sure.

"Let's get you home, okay?" Ric said softly.

She could feel herself nodding, but her feet weren't moving.

"Jeremy asked me to let you know that'd he'd be home tonight, and that he'd really like to spend some time with you."

The words seemed to slightly capture her attention.

"Really?" she asked somewhat shocked. She hadn't seen Jeremy in what felt like ages. Though they both lived in the same house, they were rarely there at the same time, and when they were, they tended to avoid one another.

"Really," smiled Ric as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and attempted to lead her from the bar. "He said he thought we could all use some family time."

Elena smiled as she felt her feet beginning to finally move in time with Ric's. "Funny," she whispered. "That's what Damon said."


	5. No One's Gonna Love You

**No One's Gonna Love You  
**_We're reeling through an endless fall  
__We are the ever-living ghost of what once was  
__But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do_  


* * *

**Damon's POV:**

"I hope you're happy now," said an annoyed Bonnie as she sat on the bar, swinging her legs back and forth in a bored manner in front of her.

"This is bullshit," shouted Damon, completely irritated by everything and everyone around him.

"You knew the rules before you went," she reminded him gently as she watched him pace.

"Not helping!" he shouted back at her. He'd surely done it now. It had taken him six months to convince Bonnie's ancestors to grant him permission to contact Elena, and now that he had, he felt as if he'd only made things worse.

"Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe she'll take your advice and you'll earn your," she paused searching for the word, "wings or whatever." She teasingly laughed.

Damon ran a hand through his hair in frustration. Would it have just been better to disappear into oblivion along with everyone else on the other side? Sometimes he wondered. Watching the people he cared about run their lives into the ground, while being able to do zilch about it, had been absolute torture. But that was part of the rules. They weren't allowed to interfere unless absolutely necessary.

Unlike being on the other side, this new realm came with a few options. According to Bonnie, they could either choose to forget everything and everyone they'd ever known and move on, or as she had called it, find peace; or they could choose to watch and remember with the hope of one day being able to help protect the people they cared about, or as Elena had put it, become a sort of guardian. According to the ancestor who Bonnie often telepathically communicated with, they were to choose the path that would most easily lead them to virtue. The point of everything here was to always choose good over evil.

It made Damon sick.

"Why'd they pull me away?" I played by the rules! That's all I've done for six months is play by their stupid fucking rules!" he shouted back at her.

"No one made you stay here. You could have chosen to forget her, remember? You could be off helping strangers in Tahiti, sipping Mai Tais right now if you'd wanted."

Damon finally stopped his pacing to look up at her. "You know that's not an option."

And she knew he meant it. He couldn't forget about Elena anymore than she could forget about Jeremy. They had chosen this insufferable road together, determined not to separate from their loved ones or each other.

"Tell them I need to go back," he suddenly pleaded as he walked towards where Bonnie sat on the bar. "Tell them I wasn't finished and that Elena still needs to hear what I have to say!"

Bonnie gave him a sympathetic smile as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "You said everything you needed to say. She's going to be okay."

Damon frowned as he looked up at her and then, again, ran his fingers through his hair. What he wouldn't give for just a single glass of Hirsch Reserve. "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing," he sighed. He finally moved next to her and pulled himself up so that he could sit atop the bar with her.

"Neither do I," she said softly, her tone clearly full of sadness and frustration. "I thought dying would be easier the second time, but watching Jeremy return to his old habits hasn't exactly proven to be easy."

Damon felt a slight pang of guilt. He often forgot that Bonnie had been through this before, except that time, she'd been completely alone and unable to touch or interact with anyone. Well, except for Jeremy. "It should have been you. I shouldn't have interfered."

"Don't be silly," she smiled gently. "That girl needs some sense knocked into her and if anyone was going to do it, it had to be you. Besides, if she can get her life on track, then you can bet Jeremy and Stefan will be soon to follow," she slowly turned her head and met his eyes with a look he'd seen many times over the last few months.

Damon nodded, though unconvinced. There had been many unspoken words and subtle glances of understanding between them lately. Anytime Damon had tried to voice his opinions or formulate a plan to escape their new fate, she had hushed him. He didn't know how, or by whom, but he couldn't help but shake the feeling that Bonnie knew they were being watched. Whether by the good or wicked witch, he wasn't sure. But someone, whoever they were, had spared their lives; well Bonnie's anyway. His life was more or less an unwritten part of the agreement.

Bonnie had been spared because she had lived a good and kind life. She had always put her friends and family's needs before her own. She had now sacrificed herself _twice_ in order to assure the safety and happiness of everyone else's. What had he done to deserve this extended offer of safety? Shouldn't he be with Katherine and Silas in hell, or wherever it was they ended up? He thought back to the day when he had used Bonnie to open the tomb, ultimately causing her to lose her Grams. How he'd turned her own mother into a vampire and how, on so many occasions he used Jeremy's life as leverage in order to threaten her into doing whatever he needed her to do.

He did not deserve to be saved, and he certainly didn't deserve to be saved by Bonnie.

"Stefan's headed back to Mystic Falls," she spoke again, interrupting his thoughts. "He's bringing her with him."

Damon quickly looked back at her as he remembered where his brother had been. They had watched over him the last few months as well, following along throughout his quest to bring them back. When Stefan had finally found the girl he'd been looking for, Jessa, Bonnie had seemed relieved. He'd been confused.

"Why? What does she want?"

"To help."

He waited for her to elaborate, but when she offered no further explanation he continued. "I seriously doubt there's anything this chick can do that the two wonder twins can't," he said annoyed. He was trying not to give up hope, but after watching everyone fail repeatedly, it was becoming hard not to.

"You'd be surprised," she finally concluded.

Damon stared at her, his frustration building by her lack of answers. "Do you always have to be so vague? I mean, would it kill you to actually answer a damn question?"

"It might," she said playfully as she winked at him. He couldn't help but smile at her. Despite the annoyingly, grumpy and irritated state he'd been in for six months, she'd never snapped back at him. She'd never told him off like he so rightfully deserved. She'd, instead, been patient and understanding as she tried to navigate through this mysterious new world with him.

Hi let out a long sigh. "At least tell me you have some sort of plan? Please?"

She smiled again. "I know that doing good deeds is a little," she paused, "off the beaten path for you." He smirked and shrugged as she continued. "But right now, it's our only hope at being able to communicate with anyone again."

"It took six months for them to even let me speak to her! That's not exactly hope. I feel like a damn puppet on a string right now!"

"You got to connect with Elena because she's not getting any better and she needed someone to set her straight. They gave you permission because you promised you'd help."

"And I did!" he paused. "I said all the things I was supposed to say. 'Move on,' 'be happy,' blah, blah, blah. Let them try watching their ex sleep around with random douche bags and we'll see how they like it!"

"And what _were_ you about to say? Before they pulled you back?"

Damon thought back, feeling slightly guilty. Now that he was back here, he couldn't risk saying the words out loud again. When he had originally been granted permission to contact Elena in her dream, he'd not planned on telling her what she could do to bring them back. But once he'd actually gotten to touch her, and _feel _her in his arms again, he'd lost all sense of self-control. He needed her to know.

"What do you know about this ancestor of yours who's keeping us here?" he asked quickly changing the subject, keeping his voice low.

Bonnie stared at him intently as she tried to figure out his motive for asking. This was another one of the many times he wished they could communicate telepathically.

"I know she hates vampires," she paused, "and that she's angry at Elena for hurting and compelling that guy. It's why she let you talk to her."

"Man she really is an old stick in the mud, isn't she?" Damon snickered. They suddenly felt the room begin to shake and rattle. He quickly gripped the edge of the bar as he watched a glass fall from one of the nearby shelves and shatter into a million pieces on the ground. "Kidding!" shouted Damon annoyed as he threw his hands up innocently.

"Can't even take a joke?" He rolled his eyes as the annoying, mini earthquake came to an end.

"I don't think she can," sighed Bonnie in frustration.

"Hmm, you'd think she'd at least tell us her name," he stated annoyed as he hopped off the bar and began shouting to the walls. "If I'm going to be forced into being a Saint, I'd at least like to know who I'm working for!"

"Agh!" shouted Bonnie. He quickly looked back behind him to see Bonnie no longer on the bar but on the floor, hunched over in pain. She held her hand to her head as she groaned in agony to end the headache that had suddenly overtaken her. He quickly rushed towards her, desperate to try and help. He was used to seeing this method of pain being inflicted on a vampire by a witch, but never on a witch by _another_ witch.

"Stop!" he shouted again at the nothingness. "I'm sorry alright?"

Finally, the pain seemed to cease as Bonnie regained her composure. Slightly breathless and unstable from the pain, she slowly looked up at him and met his eyes as he helped her stand.

"She said," she drug out the last word in frustration, "she'd reveal herself when she's ready and to stop asking questions."

"What the hell does that mean?" Damon asked confused.

Bonnie took a deep breath as she continued to try and steady herself. "It means," she paused, "she has other plans for us."


	6. Ledges

**Ledges  
**_I've got a lot of good friends, keeping me distracted  
__Keeping my sanity safe,  
__Here I stand on the edge of the ledges I've made_

* * *

**Jeremy's POV: **

He had no idea why he'd come here. The house had felt haunted enough when people had actually lived in it, but now that it sat empty and abandoned, it was the epitome of a horror film. The dust covered shelves and furniture were a strange sight compared to their previous perfection due to Damon's immaculate housekeeping methods.

He couldn't help but chuckle at the thought.

Damon hadn't exactly been the best father figure he'd ever had, but at least he'd been one. It had taken him a long time to grow to appreciate him, but looking back now, he realized that on some bizarre level, he _had_ actually cared about him.

Though he hadn't planned on spending any more time than necessary in the old boarding house, he couldn't help but to reflect on old memories as he stood in the entryway. He recalled all the work they had done to bring Bonnie back, only to just lose her all over again.

The fireplace, now so cold and lifeless, had once burned so brightly for them. A fitting occurrence, for the night he'd finally told her that he loved her; the night he'd finally been able to touch her.

He sighed at the thought as he reached his hand into his back pocket, feeling the bag of pills he swore he would no longer take. It had been a long, long time since he'd needed the high they could give him, but over the last few months, it had been like reuniting with long-lost friends.

When Matt had made it into the police academy, he had warned Jeremy that the pills would have to go, but now that he was graduating, he knew he really had to get rid of them. He felt insanely guilty for even keeping them there as long as he had. Not that Tyler had been any help in the matter.

Now that he was just a human with a werewolf gene again, Tyler's stress and anxiety levels had been through the roof. He lived in constant fear of retriggering the curse and, for the longest time, had even refused to leave the house. Not that he blamed him. They had all been through so much over the years that sometimes it felt better to just ignore the outside world altogether. But he had to laugh at the humor of the situation. Dealing to Tyler, in a way, felt just like old times, and between the three of them, the Lockwood manor had quickly become comparable to a frat house.

Jeremy quickly made his way upstairs as he shook off the nostalgia and began to remember why he'd come here. Stefan's text had been cryptic, but it didn't take a genius for him to understand what he was trying to do: he was still searching for hope.

As he reached the landing of the old, musty bedroom, he took a deep breath before beginning his search for the book. The shelf at the end of Stefan's bedroom was covered in dusty old family trinkets and knickknacks, but no Grimoire. Was it possible it had gotten burned along with Stefan's old journals? Since Bonnie had been made the anchor, she'd had little use for her spell book and he was certain the last time he had seen it was during Qetsiyah's anchor/doppelganger ritual. It had to be here, unless…

Liv. Was it possible Bonnie had lent it to her during one of their 'teaching' lessons? He quickly sent a text to Stefan.

'It's not here. Are you sure this is the last place you saw it?'

He continued to search around the room, under the bed and around the bookshelf, until he heard his phone buzz. The sender was not who he expected.

'We're celebrating Matt's graduation! Massive party at the falls tonight! Invite people and bring the good stuff!'

Jeremy stared at Tyler's text for a few moments before responding. 'Can't. I told Ric I'd see him and Elena tonight. And his graduation isn't 'til Saturday!'

He sat on the edge of the bed as he waited for a reply. Within a few seconds, he felt his phone buzz again.

'No, ur coming! Bring them with you! And we'll do it again on Sat!'

Jeremy couldn't help but chuckle as he contemplated what to do. Finally he decided to respond with, 'Ok. I'll c u there.'

Finally abandoning his effort in finding Bonnie's Grimoire, and frustrated by Stefan's lack of communication, he stood and made his way back downstairs. If he was being completely honest with himself, he wasn't sure if he felt like helping Stefan anyway. Not because he didn't want Bonnie back, because he did, more than anything. But to Stefan, Bonnie was just a means to get Damon back. He'd been tired of watching Bonnie being constantly used as a stratagem when she was alive, and he certainly wanted no part of it now that she was gone. Even Elena, his own sister and Bonnie's best friend, seemed to have been so caught up in her own grief over Damon that she'd barely batted an eye at him all summer or acknowledge his pain for Bonnie.

That's not fair; he rethought quickly, feeling guilty for thinking such things. Elena had been grieving in her own head and in her own way. Though there had been moments where he'd felt bitter and angry towards her inability to be there for him or to let anyone in, he knew she truly was hurting. Between the two of them, they'd lost more people than one could count on both hands. Perhaps her coping mechanisms were just too worn down to care anymore.

Not that he blamed her. He hadn't exactly been the role model of perfection this summer. Between refusing to go back to school, giving up on Elena and turning to narcotics, he certainly wouldn't be getting any sibling of the year award. Feeling guilty, he again pulled out his phone and began to text.

'Tyler's throwing Matt a graduation party at the falls tonight. He wants you both to come. So do I.' He selected both Elena and Ric as the recipients and hit send. After a few moments, guilt began to creep in as he recognized the selfishness of not just skipping the party and spending a quiet, 'family' evening together. Not to mention, the last thing Elena needed was to be around more alcohol. _But_, he considered, at least she'd be in her comfort zone. Plus, it really would do her some good to see all of her friends.

A few moments later he felt the familiar buzz of his phone in his hand. 'It's not a high school party, is it?' Jeremy chuckled at Ric's question.

'No, I think there might actually be some adults there haha. We are celebrating his graduation from the police academy after all.'

'So we're celebrating our future protector of Mystic Falls condoning underage drinking? Fabulous. I guess I'm in.'

'I'll go.' Chimed in Elena to the group message. Jeremy stared at it, feeling slightly shocked by how easily she'd been persuaded.

'Great! I'll c u both there around nine.' After he sent it he quickly made his way towards the front door in preparation to put the boarding house far behind him, but just as he reached it, his phone went off again.

'Check the dorm and call Liv. Find it!' He rolled his eyes at Stefan's text. He was beyond done with taking orders from him. However, due to all the shit he and his friends had put her through over the last few months, calling and extending an invite to Liv wasn't exactly the worst idea he'd ever heard.

Before dialing her number and exiting the house, he took one last look around. A worn, black leather jacket tossed over the back of the couch caught his eye. At this point, it couldn't hurt to bring it to her, right? He quickly made his way over and picked it up, feeling slightly guilty that he'd never bothered to bring Elena anything of Damon's before. When he'd lost Vicky and Anna, she had done everything in her power to help ease his pain. Granted, it had often involved having Damon compel him into forgetfulness, but she'd tried to help nonetheless. He couldn't compel her memories away, but he at least wanted her to understand that he cared. Bringing her Damon's jacket wouldn't ease the pain, but it would at least give her something of his to hold onto; just like finding Bonnie's Grimoire would give _him_ something.

Regaining his thoughts, he quickly exited the house and dialed Liv's number.

* * *

**Liv's POV:**

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," came the disgruntled voice of her brother as he followed behind her. "You do realize that nearly everyone at this party has either threatened us or _killed_ at least one of us at some point, right?"

Liv rolled her eyes as she put her hands in her pockets and followed the glow of the bonfire towards the falls. "Well, no one's perfect."

"Well that's the understatement of the year," he groaned in annoyance as he took ahold of her arm and forced her to stop and face him. "Why are we really here, Liv? I mean they've got you making daylight rings and now Elena's about to get you fired from the bar? What's going on?"

She shrugged, her face clearly unsure of how to answer. "I feel sorry for them, okay?"

She tried to continue walking, but Luke again stopped her. "For _them_? What about us, Liv? They're not the only ones who have lost people and you don't see me snapping their necks!"

"Well technically, we did try to kill Stefan and Elena," she smirked.

Luke shrugged. "We didn't have a choice."

"I know. And neither did they," she again defended. She honestly wasn't quite sure why she was being drawn to help them. Perhaps watching Bonnie and her friends stop at nothing to protect the people they cared about had sparked something in her. She couldn't remember the last time anyone had been willing to sacrifice themselves for her. She and Luke had been alone for as long as she could remember. Their only guidance and instructions had come from the demanding witches of their coven who would sacrifice them in a heartbeat if it meant assuring the survival of magic. All they'd every truly had, was one another.

"Look," she spoke softly, trying to get him to understand, "I know that the last few months haven't exactly been easy, but I really feel like we can start over here. Now is our chance to make some friends and, I don't know, have a life."

"A life? Liv they're only trying to use us!" Luke tried to keep his voice from rising but was struggling. "Did you know Stefan called me asking me to track down a Bennett Witch? They're still trying to figure out what happened to Bonnie and they want to pull me and you into it."

Liv paused. "Well, I can't say I blame them. I'm kind of curious to know what happened. I mean, now that the other side is gone, it'd be kind of nice to know what's going to happen to all of us."

"You didn't let me tell you the best part," said Luke growing in frustration. "Stefan wants to use me to travel back over there and track down his friends. He wants me to use dark magic to send a piece of my spirit back over and then return here and tell him what I find. He basically wants me to _kill_ myself, Liv!"

Liv couldn't help but stare at him in shock as her jaw dropped. "Wait, what? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Hey guys you made it!" came the cheerful voice of Jeremy Gilbert behind them. She slowly turned towards him as she tried to recover from the shock of her brother's admission.

"Hey," she smiled trying to downplay the seriousness of her prior conversation. "Yeah, just got here and I think I already need a beer. Walk me?"

He looked slightly surprised, but extended his arm to her nonetheless. She couldn't help but smile as she interlocked her arm around his and began to walk. Before getting too far, she took one last look over her shoulder at Luke to give him a reassuring nod that she would handle it.

Guilt suddenly began to rise in her chest for abandoning him, but she needed him to understand that, although she would do anything to protect him, she was also determined to follow her gut. And her gut was telling her that she was exactly where she needed to be.

"Jer!" shouted a drunken voice near the bonfire. As the outline of his friend Tyler approached him, she couldn't help but laugh at his current state. The party had barely begun and, already, he was clearly inebriated.

"Check it out," he said softer as he pulled three joints from his pocket and also handed him a beer. Jeremy hesitated, unsure of whether or not to take it.

"Well if you don't then I will," she smiled reassuringly at him as she took both the beer and the joint from Tyler. Jeremy smiled in amusement as he watched her light it up and take a drag.

"Damn, now that's what I'm talking about!" shouted Tyler before turning to look over his shoulder. "Hey Matt! Get over here!"

She watched as Matt, who stood a few yards behind them, quickly ended a conversation he was currently having and made his way over. As Matt approached, Tyler quickly reached his hand into the cooler and extended from it three more beers.

"Here's to my buddy Matt!" he shouted above the crowd as he handed the beers to Jeremy, Matt and Luke, who had just arrived at the scene. "To the wise, strong, devilishly handsome," he paused, "company that you keep!" The crowd laughed as he insinuated to himself. "And to being a great friend, a fearless leader and the best future protector this town has ever seen! May you do a far better job than those who have preceded you!" The crowd again cheered and yelled in approval at Tyler's speech. "To Matt!" He finally finished as everyone lifted their drinks to the sky before taking a drink.

"I'll drink to that," came a voice behind them. Liv watched as Elena slowly approached the scene. Though her tears had dried, it was hard to get the hysterical image of Elena crumbled up on the floor this morning, out of her head. Just like all summer, Liv had the slightest urge to reach out and ask 'are you sure?' But instead, just like always, she reached over and handed her the drink.

"Hey buddy," said Matt as he quickly wrapped his arms around her in an enormous hug. She watched as Elena hesitated before slowly returning the act. Feeling as though she should give the friends some space, she slowly backed away from the group.

Though she'd only had one hit and one drink, she felt as if her mind was a jumbled mess. She was absolutely terrified of getting too close to Jeremy and his friends. Did she really belong here? Was Luke right? Perhaps this was all some fantasy she'd concocted in her head to give her a sense of purpose and direction. Maybe they really were just using her and her brother to get what they needed. It would be easy to believe if she hadn't gotten so close to Bonnie before her death; If Stefan hadn't saved her life; If Jeremy wasn't so easy on the eyes.

Not that bringing Bonnie back would help her in _that_ department. What did she really have to gain by helping them anyway? As she reached the walking bridge that overlooked the falls and sparked with overhead lights, she couldn't help but to pause and reflect on what it was she _really_ wanted.

The concluding results startled her. The answer was clear and why it had taken her so long to understand it was daunting. She quickly reached into her jacket pocket and pulled from it her cell phone. She stared at Stefan's name for a moment before finally selecting him as the receiving recipient of the message.

'I'm in. Just tell me what I need to do.'


	7. Still Here

**Authors Note:** Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed so far! It truly means a lot that anyone would even take the time to read this, so thank you! I feel as though I should clarify that this story is purely based on a fun vision I had for season 6 and that it will include the POV of ALL TVD characters at some point. As a fellow Delena and Steroline shipper, I feel your pain and desperately want to write a magical solution that will instantly bring everyone back together and send them on their road to a happily-ever-after. But realistically, I know that's not good story telling. So as I embark on this journey to fill our summer hiatus, I ask that you have patience, understanding and forgiveness for the crazy journey our characters are about to undertake. Thanks again!

P.S. I _highly_ recommend listening to _Still Here_ by Digital Daggers while reading this chapter.

* * *

**Still Here  
**_Every night, I dream you're still here  
__The ghost by my side, so perfectly clear  
__When I awake, you'll disappear  
__Back to the shadows,  
__With All I hold dear,  
__With All I hold dear,  
__I dream you're still here._

* * *

**Elena's POV:**

Elena listened to the laughter and chitchat that surrounded her, but ultimately felt completely disengaged. The flames of the bonfire flickered in front of her as she extended her arms to fully take in its warmth. The entire day had felt like such a blur as she'd attempted to recover from the emotional hangover the prior evening had left her with. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she tried to maintain her composure and not completely breakdown again.

She knew she had failed miserably at being there for Jeremy and Ric these past few months, but honestly, she didn't know how else to be. Who was she to give words of encouragement and speeches of motivation, when she herself felt absolutely nothing? She'd fought with herself for three months as she debated whether or not to just flip her switch. At least then, the nothingness could be justified. It would be such an easy and simple solution to end the vicious cycle of pain, anger, loathing and guilt: a quick fix to take away the heartache and longing for Damon.

But then she supposed that would defeat the point. If she were to just completely forgo her emotions and humanity, wouldn't it take away from their relationship? Didn't Damon deserve to be mourned and appreciated, not abandoned and forgotten? Not to mention all the work he had previously done to get her to turn her humanity back on in the first place. She couldn't let that be in vain. No, her humanity had to stay, and with it, the pain it encompassed.

She felt an arm suddenly wrap around her shoulder. Startled, she quickly jumped and turned to see a smiling Matt standing next to her. "Sorry," he quickly apologized as he held out a hand innocently. "I didn't mean to scare you."

She gave him a small, forgiving smile. "It's fine."

Matt waited for her to elaborate, but when nothing else followed, he continued. "It's good to see you," he said weakly, afraid of pushing her too far. "How have you been?"

Elena shrugged, "I'm surviving," she offered with a weak smile. "How are you, _officer_?" she said with a small laugh at the last word.

Matt chuckled. "Yeah, yeah. Who would have thought, right? But I mean, it definitely pays better than the grill, and I figured with all the dangers that surround this town, at least I'll never be out of a job!"

Elena laughed. "True. Maybe between you and Liz, Mystic Falls could actually be a safe place again." She paused. "Not that I'll ever see it," she said softly, suddenly remembering the Travellers curse.

Matt frowned as he gently squeezed her shoulder. "We're gonna find a way to fix everything. Just don't give up hope yet, okay?"

She wasn't sure what to say, but as the frustration and tears began to build, she felt herself shaking her head 'no.'

"Even if there was a way to restore the magic in Mystic Falls, I just don't know that I could ever go back. There's nothing for me there. No home, no family," she paused, "no Damon. I don't want that life."

"Elena," said Matt suddenly turning to face her and placing both of his hands on her shoulders. "I've been pretty good at keeping my distance over the last few months because I knew you needed the time to grieve and readjust, but," he swallowed, "I can't just stand by and watch you be like this anymore. Now, I'm sorry that Damon is gone. From the bottom of my heart, I truly am sorry. But, Elena, you still have us. You still have Jeremy and Alaric and Caroline," he wiped a tear as it slowly fell from her eye, "and me."

She continued to shake her head as she tried to escape his eye contact. As if the guilt from abandoning Jeremy wasn't bad enough, now she had it from her friends as well. "I can't Matt. I'm sorry," she choked back the sobs threatening to overtake her. "I can't be what you all want me to be. Not anymore."

"We don't want you to be anything but okay, Elena. We want to help you get through this, but you have to let us in."

She didn't need nor want his help. Anger quickly began to replace her sadness as she pulled away from his imploring eyes. "I'm a vampire Matt!" she shouted, perhaps a little to loudly. "My sadness and grief is like nothing you can even possibly imagine. My heart is broken and it cannot be fixed._ I_ cannot be fixed. So until you can bring Damon back to me, no, there is nothing you can do."

She hadn't meant to be so harsh. She certainly hadn't meant to yell at one of her oldest and dearest friends, with whom she knew was only trying to help her. But that was the problem. She couldn't be helped and the sooner everyone started to realize that, the better they'd all be. She'd listened to Alaric lecture her all day on how she needed to calm down; how she needed to let Damon go and move on; how her constant obsession and alcoholism were the foundation for her new vivid and realistic dreams.

"Elena!" shouted a voice behind her. She ignored it as she continued to march on, desperately in search of the beer tap. "Elena wait!"

She didn't stop until she was finally filling a red plastic cup with the desired substance. As she put the cup to her lips and began to drink, desperate to forget again, someone tugged her arm, forcing her to spill what remained.

"What the hell!" she shouted as she attempted to wipe away the spilt beer on her hand and face.

"Elena, stop!" shouted Jeremy as he attempted to deter her from refilling another cup. "What do you think you're doing?"

"What am I doing? What are _you_ doing?" she spat back at him. "You invited me to a party, remember? So that's what I'm doing: partying!"

"Not like this," Jeremy pleaded. "This is supposed to be fun and you're clearly upset. What was that about back there? Why were you screaming at Matt?"

"Who's upset? I'm not upset! Maybe if you and Matt and everyone else would learn to mind your own damn business, I wouldn't be screaming!" she quickly took the cup back and resumed refilling it from the keg.

Jeremy sighed as he watched her down the entire cup in just a few seconds. "We're all just trying to help."

"Hey Jer! I need some more!" shouted a voice from behind them before she could generate a response.

"Need more what?" she quickly questioned, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Nothing," he deflected. However, the strangers quickly approached, laughing and stumbling stupidly.

"Please, Jeremy?" the girl begged extending her hand expectantly.

"Please, _what_, Jer?" snapped Elena as the anger continued to build.

"The Oxy!" the girl giggled foolishly as she brushed against his arm.

"And X," chimed in the guy. "We heard you were the man with all the goods!"

"Are you kidding me?" shouted Elena angrily.

"Oh, we can totally pay you if that's what you're worried about," said the guy, clearly confused by Elena's sudden outburst.

"Give me the pills, Jer!" Elena shouted, ignoring the two intoxicated morons.

"What? No way!" argued Jeremy defensively.

"Hey, we asked first!" chimed in the girl.

Annoyance and frustration began to outweigh all of her senses as Elena quickly pinned Jeremy's hands behind his back, reached into his pocket and pulled out the small, zip-lock bag full of various, brightly colored pills.

"Give those back!" he shouted angrily. As he tried to reach around her, Elena did the only thing she could think to do. She quickly pulled them from the bag, popped them into her mouth, chugged her beer and swallowed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" shouted Jeremy.

"Aw, man! Totally not cool, chick!" groaned the guy as he grabbed the girl's hand and slowly marched away.

"What's going on you two? I could hear you shouting all the way from the bridge!" came the voice of Ric as he quickly approached them, looking out of breath.

"Jeremy's been dealing again!" she explained to Ric. He quickly looked at him with an open mouth, clearly shocked and disappointed.

"As if you're one to talk!" Jeremy shouted back at her. "I'm surprised you finally even noticed given you've been on a permanent, alcoholic vacation this summer! Why don't you just go do us all a favor and get the hell over Damon already!"

His words were like a knife to the heart. Her jaw dropped as she stared at him, completely at a loss for what to say. Tears began to form behind her eyes as she felt her body begin to shake.

"Shit," said Jeremy quickly. "Elena, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. You know I didn't."

But before he could say another word, she quickly turned to leave. She heard both Jeremy and Alaric call after her, but she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge them. She had no idea where she was going, only that she had to get away from here. Coming had been a mistake. She wasn't ready to face her friends and she certainly wasn't ready to acknowledge the downward spiral everyone could see but her.

Suddenly, she felt herself tumbling forward, completely dizzy and at a loss as to what was happening around her. She sat on the ground for a moment as she examined it, as if trying to make sense of why it had tripped her. She quickly felt herself beginning to giggle. Had the ground purposefully tripped her? She laughed out loud at the thought. As she looked around at the trees and the night sky, everything, all of a sudden seemed much clearer. Why was she even upset? She couldn't remember.

She felt herself falling backwards onto the ground. She spread her arms wide on each side as she slowly began to wiggle her fingers. She laughed at the feeling. Every part of her body felt, _good_, possibly even great. She turned her head to see if she could still see the party, but she was now too far away. She could still hear the distant sound of the party with her vampire hearing, but other than that, she was completely alone.

Vampire hearing? She giggled again at the thought. Quickly, the giggling became full blown, hysterical laughing. She was a _vampire_! Like Dracula? Except way hotter.

"What's so funny?" came the smooth voice she'd been longing to hear.

She couldn't even bring herself to look over. Her laughing slowly subsided as she continued to stare at the bright stars overhead. "Everyone says you're just a dream, but I don't think so."

She could feel him smirk as he slowly made his way towards her and joined her on the ground. "And what do _you_ think?"

"I think you're real," she said softly.

She could feel him moving closer to her as he too moved to lie down, his head mere inches from hers. "Well if you think it, then it's probably true."

She giggled again. "These are the nights I miss you most," she whispered.

"When you're high on drugs?" he smirked playfully.

She couldn't help but to again break out in a hysterical laughter. She had to put her hands on her stomach as it began to ache from laughing so hard.

"Damn, I never thought I'd see the day," he continued, his eyes never ceasing to leave her face.

"I'm sorry," she giggled playfully. "It was an accident."

"You _accidentally_ took drugs?"

"Yes," she continued to giggle as she finally turned her head to look at him. His piercing blue eyes shown brightly through the darkness, nearly stopping her heart completely. "Will you stay here with me?"

His smile was full of love and endearment. "I'll do even better than that. I'll tell you a story."

"Really?" she laughed playfully.

"Oh yeah," he smiled as he leaned his head in closer to hers and began to look up at the stars. "See that jumble of stars over there?" he slowly pointed up. "The ones that look like a broken triangle holding up a broken square that's holding up a broken club?"

She couldn't help but to again start laughing. "What?"

He laughed with her as he continued to point. "Over there." She followed his pointing finger to what she would have identified as a line of three stars with a bright orange dot above them.

"Sure," she giggled.

"Okay," he continued. "Well that's Orion, and Orion is one of the greatest, most famous constellations in the sky. He was a hunter, and not just any hunter, but a real badass." She continued to giggle as she leaned her head into his shoulder. "He had the perfect life. He'd sleep all day and then spend his nights slaying beasts of all kinds! But what really made him a rock star was that he had a secret admirer by non other than Zeus's daughter, Artemis, the beautiful moon goddess!"

"_The_ moon goddess?" she joked playfully.

"The one and only," he continued, "but the problem was, Zeus completely forbid her to interact with mortals! It was a big no-no! But one night, she just couldn't take it anymore. She had to meet him. So she completely ditched her father's rule and strode right down to Orion's island and met him face-to-face!"

"Yay!" cheered Elena with a giggle.

"Yup, and it was love at first sight. She immediately changed out of her royal robes and put on a hunters uniform so she could join him on his hunt for the rest of the night. When the sun came up, she would always return to her chariot and her father's kingdom, but each night, she'd return to Orion and they'd hunt together. This continued for several nights and they were very much in love."

"I like this story," she smiled as she pulled her gaze away from the stars and finally to Damon's face.

"But nothing good can last forever, and unfortunately, Zeus found out about their forbidden affair. Determined to end it, he sent a giant, poisonous scorpion to Orion's island, demanding that he kill him with his fatal sting. Although Orion fought with everything he had in a battle that lasted for hours, the scorpion eventually won out, just as Artemis was arriving. She raced to the scene, but it was too late. Her boyfriend was a goner."

"I changed my mind," groaned Elena, beginning to feel a bit groggy. "This story sucks."

He couldn't help but snicker as he leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. "But Artemis was a badass and grabbed that damn scorpion by the tail and threw him so far into the stars that he became Scorpius, the scorpion in the sky. Afterwards, she gently put Orion's body on the opposite end of the sky, so far away that he'd never be in the sky at the same time as Scorpius."

"That doesn't make me feel better," she said sleepily. "Tell me the story of how Artemis brings him back. I wanna hear that story."

She felt Damon sigh as he looked back up at the sky and rested his head gently against hers. "That's another story still waiting to be written."

She felt his hand reach down and intertwine with hers. The softness of his skin against hers caused her entire body to tremble. She quickly lifted their locked hands to her face, desperate to feel his touch with everything she had. "Is this going to be our fate? Will this be the story that someone else tells his girlfriend while she's high?" she tried to laugh, but the tears escaped anyway. "Because I can't accept that," she said barely above a whisper.

"We have the greatest story of all," he whispered through the darkness as his lips drew closer to hers. "Our story will make the rest of the world radiate with jealousy. I'm sure people will even write cheesy fanfiction about us."

She choked out a laugh as the tears continued to fall. "Please just come back to me."

He smiled as he leaned in so close, she could feel his lips against hers. "You wanna know the best part about our story?" She quickly looked at his eyes and then back to his lips, holding her breath, patiently waiting for an answer. "It's not finished yet."

The warmth of his lips against hers suddenly vanished, replaced by the cool evening breeze. She blinked a few times as she struggled to remain conscious, determined to find where he had disappeared to. She rotated her head desperately.

"Elena?" she heard someone call.

"Damon?" she whispered through the darkness. It was all she could remember before strong hands reached down and gently lifted her from the ground, slowly carrying her away from Orion, Damon and the rest of the midnight stars.


	8. World Spins Madly On

**World Spins Madly On  
**_I woke up and wished that I was dead  
__With an aching in my head, I lay motionless in bed  
__I thought of you and where you'd gone  
__And let the world spin madly on_

* * *

**Elena's POV:**

Her head was throbbing and every part of her body ached. She nestled her head farther down into the pillow, unwilling to open her eyes for fear it would completely erase the visions of the stars and bright blue eyes that shone so vividly in her dream. Had it been a dream? She refused to believe so. It had been the second night in a row she'd seen him; the second night he'd spoken with her; _touched_ her. There was no way it was a coincidence. Was he trying to tell her something?

Maybe she really was going crazy. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe, the alcohol and pills were finally getting to her. No longer helping her to forget, but instead, making things inexplicably worse. She couldn't even remember how she'd gotten home or who had been calling her name just before she'd finally given in to the pills sedative effects. Did everyone at the party see her get carried out of there like some drunken sorority girl? She pulled the covers tightly over her head, embarrassed by the thought.

She thought again of Damon and the things he had told her over the course of her 'dreams.' What did he mean 'their story wasn't finished yet?' What did he not finish telling her before she awoke yesterday morning at the bar?

"I don't understand," she whispered softly into her pillow, talking to what she hoped was more than just an empty room. "What are you trying to tell me? Please tell me what I need to do."

The suddenly unexpected scent of bourbon and leather quickly sent a shock of familiarity to her brain, causing her to quickly sit up and look around the room. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the light, forcing her to blink several times before obtaining clear vision. Finally, she saw it. There, laid across her dresser was the same black, leather jacket Damon had worn the night he had kissed her at Caroline's father's cabin. She quickly threw the covers off of her and dashed across the room to grab it. Before picking it up, however, she took a moment to cherish its beautiful, though slightly worn texture, as she slowly traced her fingers up the sleeve. She slowly picked it up and pulled it to her chest, wrapping it in such a tight hug that if it were made of anything else, she'd surely have broken it.

The scent was like coming home. She closed her eyes as she imagined all the times he'd worn it to build a fire, to fix his car, or to fix himself a drink. It was a piece of him and it was perfect.

Suddenly, the booming sound of Caroline's voice began to float up the stairs. She paused as she, regrettably lowered the jacket back to her dresser, and began listening in on the conversation below.

**Caroline's POV:**

"Why didn't anyone call me?" she shouted angrily as she barged through the front door, not even bothering to knock. Jeremy and Alaric, obviously in the middle of a deep conversation, paused to stare at her.

"We did call you, hence why you're here in our kitchen at 8:30 in the morning," smirked Jeremy.

"You know what I mean," she sighed in frustration as she closed the door and moved to stand above the table. "Last night! Is she okay?"

"Physically, yes. Emotionally," Ric paused, "I don't know."

Caroline slumped down into the chair across from Jeremy as she eyed them both, waiting for a further explanation. When it didn't come, she looked back at Jeremy. "Why would you give her drugs?" She shouted.

"I didn't _give_ her anything," argued Jeremy defensively. "She took them from my pocket."

"Well now that we're back on that subject," glared Ric, setting down his coffee mug and crossing his arms. "Why did _you_ have drugs?"

"Can we please skip the whole parental lecture here? I only took them a few times. They were mainly to help Tyler."

"Tyler?" asked Caroline quickly before Ric could refute Jeremy's defense. "Tyler's taking pills? Why?"

Jeremy shrugged. "He's just going through a hard time. I guess, we all are."

Caroline couldn't help but sigh. She had never felt at such a loss for how to help everyone around her. "What is happening to us, guys?" she said in frustration as she ran a hand through her perfectly curled blonde locks. "Stefan's AWOL, Tyler's becoming a junkie, Elena's hallucinating, you're a drug dealer," she insinuated to Jeremy before turning to Ric, " and you're a super Original, reformed serial-killer, parental figure."

Ric couldn't help but chuckle at her descriptions. "Well, let's look at the bright side."

"What's that?" she asked doubtfully.

"Well, I've officially learned my lesson against attending parties thrown by the citizens of Mystic Falls, so there's that." Caroline let out a small laugh. "And as dysfunctional as we may be, at least we're still here."

"That's what I've been trying to say all summer, but does anyone want to listen to me? Nooo," she drug out in annoyance.

"I heard from Stefan yesterday," Jeremy spoke up, as if suddenly remembering.

"What?" Caroline asked hopefully. "What did he say? Is he okay?"

"I don't know," Jeremy shrugged as he leaned further back against his chair and crossed his arms. "He was being super cryptic. He asked me if I could get him Bonnie's Grimoire."

"Why would he want Bonnie's Grimoire?" asked Caroline confused.

"Well I doubt he wants to use it as a cookbook," chimed in Ric as he reached for his coffee with a smirk.

"You don't think he's still," her voice trailed off. She suddenly became fearful of Elena overhearing their conversation. The last thing she needed was to give her any sort of false hope.

"I don't know, but if I had to guess," shrugged Jeremy again.

Caroline sighed in frustration as she rested her head in her hand. "We can't keep living like this. It's not healthy. Constantly living with this guilt and obsession to bring people back from the dead? I mean I know our lives aren't exactly normal by any stretch, but at what point do we just accept that things are the way they are and move on? I miss Bonnie as much as anyone," she gave a quick, reassuring glance to Jeremy, "but she's gone. It's been six months and I think she and Damon would just want us to find a way to make peace with the fact that they're not coming back."

"Why do you all insist on talking like I can't hear every single word you're saying?" came the sudden voice of Elena behind them, leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen with her arms crossed.

"Elena," Caroline quickly turned around. "How are you?"

Elena ignored her question as she made her way over to the kitchen counter. "I need coffee."

Caroline, Jeremy and Ric all sat in silence as they watched her pull a mug from the overhead cabinet and begin to make her coffee. "Please," she said annoyed, "don't stop on my account. I was enjoying hearing about all the things Damon would want and what an emotional mess I am. Please continue."

"Elena, I didn't mean anything by it. It's just that,"

"It's just that you think I need to get over it and move on, right?" Elena interrupted, turning back towards her quickly. "That I need to let you all back in, and communicate and go back to being the perfect, good, rational Elena that you're all used to?" she mocked. "Well, I'm sorry," she said throwing her hands up in exasperation, "but I can't. What Damon would want would be for me to fight for him and to not give up until I find a way to bring them both back."

"Elena, sweetie," said Caroline finally standing up and moving in front of Elena. She placed both of her hands on her shoulders as she stared at her intently. "Listen to me. Damon and Bonnie are _not _coming back. The other side is _gone_! And you're only hurting yourself, and all of us, by not accepting that." She tried to keep her voice steady and judgment free, but was finding it difficult.

Elena quickly threw Caroline's hands off of her shoulder as she stepped back from them all. "You didn't hear him, okay?" she pleaded for them to understand. "I talked to him. Twice! And both times, I could tell he was trying to tell me something. There is a way. I know there is. Why are you all just giving up? Why won't you help me?"

Caroline sighed as she tried to fight the tears that were forming behind her eyes. She desperately wanted to wrap her arms around her friend and take all of her pain away; tell her that everything would be okay; that they would find a way to bring them back. She'd tried to be there for her for months now, but eventually, she'd had no choice but to step back and re-evaluate. She'd had to go back to school and begin picking up the pieces in her _own_ life. It's not that she'd wanted to abandon Elena, far from it. It's just that she no longer knew how to be there for her in a way that didn't disappoint her. Her words of comfort and sympathy had slowly begun to run dry. If it wasn't bad enough that Bonnie was gone and that Stefan had just completely abandoned her, her best friend had spiraled so out of control emotionally that she'd had no choice but to back off and give her some space. She'd forced herself to be the strong one; the sensible one that said things like 'we'll all get through this,' and 'it's going to be okay,' and 'at least we still have each other.' When would it be someone else's turn to finally say those things to her?

She was absolutely physically and mentally exhausted. She'd been bearing the weight of other people's problems for so long now, that she'd hardly spared a second's time on her own. Between helping with Alaric's re-adjustment, assisting with Elena's emotional instability, aiding her mom through her post-traumatic stress after nearly dying, and getting re-focused on school, it was a wonder she herself wasn't on the verge of a mental breakdown. Not to mention the _real_ reason for her sleepless nights. He'd proven that his phone hadn't fallen down a well, so why couldn't he just _call_ her? Why was he avoiding her?

"You're right," Caroline finally spoke softly. Jeremy and Alaric both quickly looked at her, unsure of where she was going with the sudden change of tone. "Maybe we shouldn't be giving up."

"Wait, what?" spoke Alaric confused as he turned his chair to face the two girls.

A new idea had suddenly sprung into Caroline's head, she just wasn't sure if she was going to regret it or not. "You said that Stefan asked you to find Bonnie's Grimoire," she quickly turned to face Jeremy. "Did you get it?"

Jeremy looked at her confused. He glanced from Ric to Elena as he debated on whether or not to answer. "No, but I'm pretty sure I know who has it. I can probably get it."

"Good," she turned around and faced them, her on-a-mission face clearly evident. "Just make sure you do before he does."

They all stared at her with furrowed brows and vacant expressions.

"If Stefan knows something, I want in on it. And if there's something he needs that's here in Mystic Falls, then that means he has to come home, and when he does, he'll have to go through us to get it."

"Wait, I'm confused," spoke Elena as she slowly stepped forward. "Two minutes ago you were yelling at me to move on, and now you're wanting to help me?"

"No," she corrected. "I'm making you a deal. We're going to give this one shot, one _last_ shot," she closed her eyes as she clenched her teeth and squeezed her fists together on the last word. "We're going to do everything in our power to bring Damon and Bonnie back, but if we fail, you're going to have to move on. No more binge drinking, no more drugs. You got it?"

Elena stared at her for a moment as if at a loss for words. "Are you serious?"

Caroline nodded her head as she watched Elena clearly debating the options in her head.

"Fine," she finally agreed. "But until the moment when we've tried absolutely everything we can think of, and I mean unquestionably every possible thing, I don't want any more lectures. No more telling me who I should be and how I should feel. I'll help do whatever it takes, but until the day that Damon and Bonnie are standing next to me, or until the day that we can say without a doubt that we did everything that we could to bring them back, drowning my sorrows in blood and bourbon is _my_ call. No more lectures, no more guilt trips. Deal?"

"I don't know about this guys," chimed in Ric. "This really seems like it could blow up in our faces. We don't even know if Stefan has a plan."

"I'm in," spoke Jeremy all of a sudden, causing everyone in the room to look at him. "We've brought Bonnie back before. I'm with Elena. I think there might be something else we can do. Although," he said looking up at her with a pleading smile, "would it kill you to take at least a couple nights off from the bar scene?"

Elena frowned, but nodded her head. "Fine. If everyone agrees to help, then I'll agree to limit my nights out to," she paused as she thought, "five nights a week."

"Four." Asked Ric.

Elena considered for a moment. "Fine."

Caroline examined the three of them as she tried to think of an additional counter argument. Did she want to continue watching her friend spiral? No. But if figuring out what Stefan was up to could quickly put an end to Elena's self-destruction, she was highly motivated. Not to mention, at this point, she'd do anything to have Stefan home.

"Okay then," nodded Caroline finally. "So we all agree? We'll get the Grimoire, track down Stefan and figure out a way to bring Damon and Bonnie home."

Elena smiled for the first time all morning. "Agreed."


	9. All Of The Stars

**All Of The Stars  
**_And I know these scars will bleed  
__But both of our hearts believe  
__All of these stars will guide us home_

* * *

**Damon's POV:**

The funny thing about the universe is that it doesn't give a shit about anything. It doesn't have to. It's the fucking universe. Regardless of the wars, famines, diseases, and tragedies that wreak havoc upon the world every day, the universe keeps moving. It never interferes by asking the sun to stop rising or the stars to stop shining. It doesn't care about your losses or your tragedies or your 'what ifs?' in life. It doesn't care about what you fight for or what you believe in. At the end of the day, it doesn't even care if you ever truly find what it is you're searching for. Time doesn't stop. It just keeps moving and the world keeps spinning, whether you're in it or not.

Kind of like right now.

Try as he might, the universe had won out. Just like Orion, he'd been fated to a love that was short lived and pre-destined to fail. He'd seen it coming from a million miles away. Hell, thanks to the meddlesome Travellers and prehistoric witches, he'd even been forewarned. Had his 173 years taught him nothing? The universe was surely laughing now as it continued on; day-in and day-out, watching poor saps like him fight for love, selflessness and redemption, only to be left with nothing but misery and the potential to be entrapped in an empty, life-less, supernatural purgatory.

As he sat upon the roof of the home he would, more than likely, never be able to return to, overlooking the town that he would, quite possibly, never again set foot in, he couldn't help but smile. How ironic was it that he, of all people, was being forced to watch the love of his former life become everything he'd once hated about himself? Not that he hated or blamed her. He'd once _been_ her. There was no one better than he to understand the darkness that was currently surrounding her; the need to push everyone away; the need to find distractions in all the wrong places.

No, he understood far too well. He shuddered as he thought back to the person he'd been before being loved by Elena.

He'd not lied when he'd said his goodbye. She was, by far, the greatest thing that had ever happened to him. If the situation were reversed and she'd been the one taken from him, what sort of unspeakable hell would he have unleashed upon the world?

How many dozens of people would he have killed? How many friends, if any, would he have been left with? Who would have bothered to pull him back from the edge? Without her, he'd have had no reason to care, no reason to be better and, ultimately, no reason to live. She was his everything. It was why he couldn't abandon her; not even in death or when everything in his body was begging him to end this endless torture, and just let her go.

"You're not gonna jump are you?" came the joking voice of Bonnie as she suddenly appeared next to him. "Cause I think we're running out of supernatural realms to live in."

He smiled, but did not look away from the view as she took a seat next to him. "How's Elena?" she continued, clearly understanding where his thoughts were.

"Oh you know," he smirked as he finally met her eyes, "same old emotional tailspin. We've officially moved on from the binge drinking to pills, so I'd say we're making progress."

He could feel her smile as she too looked out upon their former hometown. One of the _few_ perks of their new realm was that they could choose to randomly pop in and out of any place of their liking, as long as it was within close proximity to the loved ones they were supposed to be watching over. The boarding house rooftop had quickly become their spot, though not intentionally. Damon had started coming here on his own several months back. He'd found it was the perfect place to pause and reflect for when the pain and frustration of being separated from Elena became too much. It wasn't until recently that Bonnie had begun to join him. Not that he minded. As his only companion and current ally in this world, he was often appreciative that she still chose to even speak to him. If ever anyone had a reason to hate him, it was she. But alas, here she was.

"I liked your story."

"You're such an eavesdropper," he smiled playfully.

"What?" she asked innocently. "It was sweet. I couldn't help it," she let out a small laugh.

"And you weren't with Jeremy, because?" he drug out the last word, though he already knew the answer.

"We've been through this," she said softly. "It's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

"What? About you're strange refusal to contact Jeremy? I get it. You don't want to fuck the kid up anymore than he already is. Got it. No need to explain."

"It's not just that," she continued sadly. "I'm starting to think it's not good for us either." She waited for Damon to comment, but when he didn't she continued. "I've been thinking," she again paused, as if trying to build up the courage for her next words. "Maybe its time for you to let her go."

Damon quickly looked at her, his brows arched in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"It's just," she continued quickly. "I don't think it's going to do her any good to keep seeing you. It's not healthy and it's not fair to either of you to have this," she again paused, "unrealistic hope."

"Are you kidding me?" he asked, his temper starting to rise. "What happened to six months ago when you said we didn't have a choice but to stick with them? That we couldn't just abandon them until we knew they were going to be okay? _You _said that, Bonnie. You knew what we were getting ourselves into. If you can't handle it then maybe you're the one that needs to forget, not me."

"Damon, please," she pleaded, as she grabbed his arm and forced him to meet her eyes. "We have to let them go."

The sadness and sympathy that had previously filled her eyes was suddenly replaced by what he knew to be fear. "What's going on, Bonnie? What are you not telling me?" he asked, trying to keep his tone unthreatening.

Bonnie frowned as she brought her knees in closer to her chest and crossed her arms upon them. "Damon," she paused. "They're getting closer," she said barely above a whisper. "It won't be long before they figure out what to do."

Damon nodded. He knew they were. It was the biggest reason of all that he couldn't just forget her. Not now, not when they were so close. It was another moment when he wished he could truly talk to Bonnie. He desperately wished he could openly express his excitement, fear and concern for the plan he'd been watching Stefan and Jessa form. Soon, Caroline, Jeremy, Alaric and Elena would all be in on it as well.

"They _can't_ succeed," said Bonnie slowly, almost as if choking on the 'can't.' "We can't let them."

He felt his anger finally building, threatening to spill over onto her. "You're kidding me, right? What do you mean they _can't_? We're this close, this _fucking _close, to being able to see them again! Isn't that what you want, to be able to see Jeremy and Elena again, to escape this hellhole of an existence?"

"Of course, but,"

"But nothing! As soon as Stefan finds this witch who controls the spell and puts a stop to her control issues, it's buh-bye ghost world and hello land of the living."

"I don't think it's that simple," she tried again with a frustrated smile.

"Of course it's not, which is why you and I have to keep searching for her weak spot. Does she have to be overwhelmed by another traveller massacre, a spell, a stake through the heart, what? We'll figure it out and we'll find a way to tell Elena," he stated annoyed, not even caring if the wicked witch was listening anymore.

"Damon!" shouted Bonnie, shocked by his openly outspoken confession. "You're not hearing me!"

But before she could continue, Damon suddenly felt himself being pulled sharply downward from the roof. It was as if someone had grabbed onto him and was pulling him _through_ the house; through the attic, the upstairs halls, and finally down to the parlor. Before he knew it, he was sitting on the familiar, deep red couch that resided in the boarding house living room. The antique oak coffee table lay a few feet in front of him, and upon it, sat two fixed drinks. The fireplace, previously so dull and lifeless, now burned brightly as the flames lit up the entire room. So shocked by the sudden occurrence, it took him several moments to notice that Bonnie sat on the couch next to him, looking equally shocked and confused.

"Sorry about that," came a sudden smooth, female voice behind them. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation and I just had to interrupt."

They quickly turned around. Standing before them with her right arm perched on her hip was someone he recognized, but could not place. Where had he seen her before? Her almond brown eyes, flawless cocoa brown skin and beautiful long, dark hair were surely something he could remember.

"Lucy?" asked a shocked Bonnie as she stared at the girl with an open jaw.

"It's good to see you again cuz," she smiled as she began to pour herself a drink from the bar cart.

That's it. He'd barely recognized her without the vengeful look of pure hatred scowling across her face as she took down Katherine with the simple touch of the moonstone. It had been a good look for her.

"What are you doing here?" asked Bonnie nervously as she watched her make her way around the couch and take a seat on the one opposite them, facing towards them as she sipped her drink.

"I thought you could both use a break," she indicated to the drinks sitting across the table in front of them. "Please."

Damon eyed it suspiciously. "What's the catch?"

"No catch. I just thought it was about time we had that chat," she smiled with a wink, "and a proper introduction."

At this point, he didn't even care if it was poison. He quickly lifted the drink to his lips and slowly took a sip. Bless her, she'd found his secret stash in the cellar. As the wonderful burn of the Hirsch Reserve fell down his throat, he couldn't help but sigh. It had been so long since he'd tasted that perfect balance of smoky, sweet, spicy goodness.

Bonnie wasn't so easily bought. She examined the drink before eyeing Lucy suspiciously. "What's going on? How are you here?"

Lucy smiled. "Well since your friend here is so anxious to know my so called 'weakness', I thought I'd save you both the trouble and tell you myself." She smirked as she sat her drink down. "I don't have one."

Damon couldn't help but snicker. "No offense honey, but taking down Katherine is so yesterday and hardly qualifies you as a badass. Been there, done that, moving on." He took another sip of his drink. "Besides, I've dealt with enough evil villains over the last, I don't know, hundred and seventy years, to know that no one, and I mean absolutely no one, is without a weakness." He arched his eyebrows in an attempt to be seductive. She smiled.

"I'm sorry, but how many 'evil villains' have saved your life? _Repeatedly_? Last time I checked, I was the one keeping you from disappearing into oblivion, but I can change that."

Damon suddenly felt as if the air were being sucked from his lungs. He couldn't breathe and began choking and gasping as the room slowly began to disappear around him. He fell to his knees as darkness began to close in around him.

"Stop!" shouted Bonnie.

The room slowly came back into focus as Damon suddenly regained his breath and his consciousness of the room. He glared at her as he steadily rose from the floor and returned to the couch, clutching his chest as he coughed and struggled to steady his breathing.

"Let's get one thing straight," she spoke assuredly as she looked him in the eye. "I made a deal with Sheila and my mother that I would protect Bonnie. _You_ were never part of the deal and I can cut you out of it at any time. I currently have the power of every dead Bennett witch in existence and if I so much as snap my fingers, you're gone."

Nothing made him angrier than a complete lack of control. Furry rose in his cheeks as he realized he was completely and officially at her mercy. Damn witches.

"Wait, it was _you_? You're the one that made the deal with Grams?" Bonnie asked quickly, as all the questions came rushing to her mind. "Why didn't you tell me? How are you even here right now?"

Lucy shrugged as she leaned back against the couch. "When the other side began to deteriorate, the witches had to make a plan. It would be too late to save the witches already over there, but they knew they had to find a way to preserve their magic. You know all of that power you used to channel, before you pissed the Spirits off? That was coming from the other side. If the other side were to completely disappear, then so would the witch's spirits, and then so would our ability to channel their power. They couldn't have that."

"So are you saying they found a way to save themselves?"

"No," Lucy shook her head. "I'm saying, we found a way to preserve their magic."

Damon and Bonnie looked at each other, confusion still evident on their face.

"So you're saying that you're still channeling the spirits? Even though they're gone?"

"No," smiled Lucy, "I'm channeling you."

Bonnie's mouth dropped slightly as she gaped at her. "What are you talking about? I don't have any powers. I was the anchor and now I'm," she paused, "well I don't exactly know what I am."

"The witches had to leave all of their power to someone before they disappeared along with the other side and you, being the anchor, half here and half there, were the only person who they could leave it with. _But_," she smiled as she stood and made her way back to the bar cart, "you were going to be dead and, ultimately, pretty much useless to magic which is where I come in." She smiled again as she refilled her drink.

"So let me get this straight," chimed in Damon as he sat his drink down, feeling tired from this exhausting conversation. "In order for living witches to still be able to channel Spirit magic, someone had to take on all of that power before the other side disappeared, AKA Bonnie. But since she is technically an undead, dead person, you're now able to channel her magic, AKA all Spirit magic, _ever_. Did I miss anything?"

"Well, technically only Spirit magic from the Bennett coven, but yes, essentially," she smiled.

"Wait," spoke Bonnie, still looking completely confused. "If I have all of this Spirit magic, why can't I feel it? Why can't I feel you channeling me?"

Lucy sighed as she returned back to her seat on the couch. "I just told you. You're dead!" She smiled, "Well, sort of. This realm," she looked around the room as she extended her hands upward, "was all created by you. I'm just holding it in place."

"What are you talking about?" asked Bonnie as she leaned in further.

"Sheila didn't tell you what was going to happen for a reason. She didn't want you to manipulate the outcome. Everything was timed perfectly so that, the second the other side disappeared, all magic would be transferred to you, granting you the ability to save yourself. Your Grams knew how big your heart was, and how much you'd sacrificed for your friends, so she designed it so that whatever hopes of peace you were wishing to find could be possible. And you did it. You unknowingly designed a realm that grants you the ability to look after your loved ones, contact them when necessary, and ultimately, help keep the vampires under control."

Damon shook his head in defiance. "No, that's bullshit. We've been stuck here for six months waiting on _you_, to give _us_ permission to contact anyone," he said, anger beginning to build. "We've had no ability to interfere and sure as hell no freewill unless Bonnie's heard otherwise from you."

"He's right," chimed in Bonnie. "Don't you think that if I had any control over this situation, I would have just spelled us home? I mean, if I had that much power, I'm sure I would have known it."

"I never said you _still_ had the power." Lucy leaned forward looking, if Damon wasn't mistaking, slightly guilty. "Your Grams and the witches made an assurance that you'd be safe, but they knew once you created the new realm, there'd no longer be a need for you to have access to that much power. Before the other side collapsed, they approached me and asked me to take over; finding a way to assure that it would still be accessible to our family. From here, until the end of time."

"So you're the _only one_ controlling the power of a hundred dead witches?" asked Damon, feeling slightly concerned.

She smirked. "See? I told you. No weakness."

"So you're in both worlds right now? Here and over there?" asked Bonnie.

"Well, I hadn't planned on revealing everything so soon, but plans change. Do you really think I had no idea what you're brother and girlfriend have been up to?" she asked turning to Damon.

"Well one could hope," frowned Damon.

"This new realm was supposed to just be for witches. It was supposed to be a new and improved version of the other side. Free of vampires, werewolves and hybrids. Just witches and their spirits, giving those they leave behind the ability to channel it in its most natural form, free from polluted, unnatural, toxic elements like yourself," she insinuated to Damon. "No offense."

He scowled, but shrugged his shoulders as he made a 'non-taken,' motion.

"But as long as you're still here, this realm isn't pure and it isn't a place that witches can pass over to."

Damon suddenly sat up straight. "So send us back! Hello! You obviously have no use for us here! For such an all-powerful witch you sure are lacking some brain cells!"

"Bringing someone back from the dead requires the use of dark magic. Have you learned nothing?" she looked at Bonnie who was clearly remembering the day the Spirits cut her off for bringing Jeremy back from the dead. "I can't abuse this power."

"No one will even know! Who's going to punish you, yourself? I promise I won't say anything," smirked Damon, though clearly annoyed.

"No, but it could kill me," she said solemnly. "This much power combined with dark magic. I would surely die. Besides," she quickly changed tones. "Bonnie can't leave. It's her world and if she leaves it the entire realm will be gone, along with all of the Spirit magic from our coven."

Damon finally understood.

He sat back against the couch as he ran a hand through his hair. Lucy hadn't been letting him contact Elena to help her. She'd been letting him say his goodbyes. She'd never planned on him being here and now, she needed him gone. She was planning to remove him from the shield that Bonnie had cast around them, forcing him out like he'd originally deserved. She was planning to kill him.

"I don't understand," Bonnie said as she shook her head. "I thought I could trust you. Grams and all the witches on the other side put their trust in you. Why are you doing this?"

Lucy looked slightly hurt. She suddenly reached forward and placed a gentle hand upon Bonnie's and squeezed it reassuringly. "You _can_ trust me. Everything I'm doing is for the preservation of Spirit magic. I am your friend, and I am your family, which is why I've come to offer you a deal."

Neither of them spoke so she continued.

"Tell Stefan and Elena to stop searching for you. Tell them to stop trying. If you do, then I'll restore the magic in Mystic Falls, allowing them to return to their old life; a _good_ life. They can all have a home again. I'll even let you say goodbye." Her eyes met Damon's. "A _real_ goodbye."

Before he could argue or make demands, before he could even contemplate a way to warn Stefan and Elena, before he could find a way to plead for Bonnie's help, he heard her say,

"Deal."

* * *

**Authors Note: **So I'm not going to lie, this chapter was incredibly difficult to write. It really made me have some mad respect for the TVD writers as they come up with all of these crazy story lines! I hope it's not too hard to follow, but I promise, I do have an idea and a plan in my head for where it's going to go, so have faith! Again, thanks so, so much to all who have read and reviewed so far. Please continue to do so and feel free to share this story with anyone you know who is suffering from TVD withdraws. Thanks again!


	10. Give It All

**Give It All  
**_It's getting dark  
__You don't know why  
__I built a bridge to every side…  
__You only want what's out of reach  
__But you can't help holding on to me_

* * *

**Stefan's POV:**

September 22nd, 1864:

"_He doesn't hate you," he pleaded for his brother to understand as they walked through the back gardens. "Father just doesn't understand why you would leave the confederacy." _

"_Well perhaps he should have been at the battle in Petersburg," spat Damon angrily as his steps began to quicken. "The Crater was a death trap. Even Grant called it the saddest affair he's witnessed in this war."_

"_But we won!" chortled Stefan as he hurried to follow alongside his older brother. "What's to be upset about?"_

_Damon paused to glare at him as though he were a fool. "More than five thousand souls were lost, Stefan! Fifteen hundred of them were our own men. How can you not see that?" _

_Stefan couldn't help but feel slightly ashamed as he looked down to the ground. As Damon continued on at a quick pace, Stefan again rushed after him. "This isn't about Katherine, is it?"_

_For the second time, Damon stopped to glare at his brother. "Katherine asking you to escort her to the Founders Ball was simply a means of appeasing father. Arriving with me would have earned her no favor in the eyes of this town right now."_

"_So, you're not upset?"_

"_Of course not!" _

"_Because if you are," Stefan continued, ignoring his prior answer and obvious denial, "I don't have to go with her." _

_Damon hesitated as he looked to the ground, attempted to soften his expression and then meet Stefan's eyes. He finally smiled as he approached him and put his hands upon his shoulder. "Go to the Ball with Katherine, brother. I'm sure I will be far to busy making artificial toasts and concocting lies about the whereabouts of my furlough papers to be able to devote the proper time to her that she deserves."_

Stefan nodded, though the guilt was still weighing on him heavily. "Do you care for her? Is she the real reason you came back?"

_Damon dropped his hands from Stefan's shoulders as he let out a small sigh. "She is certainly someone I can appreciate returning home to." _

_There was a moment of silence between them as Stefan tried desperately to erase any signs of guilt that might be evident due to the secret he knew he was keeping. Breaking the tension, Damon playfully punched Stefan in the right shoulder. _

"_But of course you know she has nothing on you, right?" he said mockingly as he quickly wrapped an arm around Stefan's neck, forcing him into a headlock, and began roughly rubbing his knuckles against his scalp. "Maybe I just needed to make sure my brother was going to be okay."_

_Stefan quickly pulled away; laughing as all the guilt and tension suddenly disappeared, replaced instead by the carefree ease and comfort that could only be found between he and his brother, his best friend._

"_Yeah, yeah," he laughed as he playfully shoved him away. "We'll it's good to have you home." _

"Stefan, I think we're here," came a soft, distant voice along with a gentle tap on his left shoulder. When he opened his eyes, his forehead was pressed against the car window and his arms gently folded across his chest. The late night hour and surrounding darkness caused him to have to blink several times before allowing him to finally focusing in on where they were.

He felt the car slow down as it pulled into a parking spot designated by a sign that read 'Whitmore Residents Only.' They both sat in silence for a few moments, neither making any effort to unfasten their seat belts or flee the car.

"What are you waiting for?" asked Jessa impatiently. "Get up there!" she tilted her head as she insinuated to the tall campus building.

Stefan remained seated in the passenger seat of their newly rented Ford Focus as he peered up over the dash and found the second window from the left on the fourth floor. No lights shone through it.

"It's after midnight, I'm sure she's asleep," he said trying to make it sound more like a fact than an excuse.

"Don't give me that!" She demanded playfully as she crossed her arms and rotated in her seat to stare at him. "I haven't slept in a real bed in three days and this is my only hope," she whined playfully. "Just talk to her."

Stefan leaned his head back against the headrest in exhaustion and frustration. It had been the longest three days of his life. In addition to his bike breaking down before they were barely outside of Portland, and the monumental expense it was costing him to have it repaired and shipped home, their last minute flight had been delayed twice, one of which caused them to have to spend the night in Chicago – a city that so pained him with memories of Lexi it took everything he had to not rip apart the flight attendant – and by the time they'd finally reached Richmond, he'd had to compel the rental car company into renting them a car for an indefinite amount of time. Without his bike and without access to his car in Mystic Falls, it was looking like he might just keep the car altogether.

They'd sat in silence as Jessa drove them to Whitmore. Not because she hadn't tried to talk to him, it was pretty much all she'd done since they'd left Portland, but because they'd both finally given in to the exhaustion and tension that was simultaneously building as they got closer to their destination. He felt as if he were returning to the former scene of a warzone. A place where he had fought resolutely, alongside with comrades and enemies, only to be left with nothing but scars and haunting nightmares about what he had lost and those who he'd left behind. He now understood completely why Damon had never returned to battle. Sometimes, it was just easier to leave.

"She probably hates me. I'm the last person she wants to see on her doorstep in the middle of the night."

"We've been through this a hundred times already," she groaned in frustration. "Just explain what happened."

"I left her, Jessa!" Stefan argued, his voice beginning to rise. "She risked her life to save me; to bring me back from the other side and I just left! Completely abandoning her and everyone else so that I could go on some cross-country, philosophical exploration to find myself. There's nothing to explain."

She let out a small laugh. "I don't think that's why you really left. Besides, if you'd really '_found yourself_,'" she mocked with finger quotes, "I'd really like to meet him because this version of you is a real drag!"

Stefan couldn't help but chuckle. Her expression softened as she reached out and wrapped her hand around his forearm, trying to give him encouragement.

"Besides, I'd say you were a tad too busy searching for ways to resurrect your dead brother and her best friend to have any time to find answers for yourself," she smiled reassuringly. "And if she's anything like what you've described, she'll have no choice but to forgive you."

Stefan nodded his head as he attempted to return her smile. She was right. He'd come way too far to turn back now, and if he was really being honest with himself, there was absolutely no point in pursuing any of his future plans without involving her in them. Caroline Forbes was definitely someone you wanted on your team when things had the potential to get ugly, and if ever he needed his sober sponsor, it was now. It had been easy to ignore and push aside his ripper tendencies in Portland, a place where neither he nor anyone he'd known had ever visited, but now that he was home, constantly surrounded by painful memories of lost loved ones, he knew the ripper was just below the surface, begging to be set free.

After a long sigh, he finally unlatched his seatbelt, opened the door and stepped out of the car. "You coming?" he asked looking back at Jessa, who remained seated.

"You're kidding, right?" she asked playfully. "Showing up with another girl is a good way to get your heart ripped out, _again_," she joked. "I think I'll let you take a moment to explain before I come barging in."

"It's not like that," Stefan tried to explain. "Caroline wouldn't be," he paused searching for the word, "jealous or anything."

"Mmmhmm," Jessa nodded, trying desperately to conceal her laugh. "Just trust me on this."

Stefan smiled as he rolled his eyes. "Okay fine. I'll text you when it's '_all clear_,'" he mocked.

"Don't take too long! I wasn't kidding! I want that bed!" she shouted as he closed the car door with a smirk.

As he made his way across the parking lot, into the building and up the stairs towards Caroline's dorm room, a million different scenarios began to suddenly rush through his head. Would she be happy to see him? Would she slam the door in his face? Would their friendship ever truly have the ability to be repaired? Was Jessa right? Would she hate him for bringing another girl along? He just needed to explain...

He paused as he reached her door, waiting and listening from the outside for any indication that she wasn't there. When he heard the slow and steady sound of her breathing, followed by a groan of frustration as she tossed from one side of the bed to the other, he knew she was not only home, but also awake. He was officially out of excuses not to knock. After one last deep breath, he quickly tapped his knuckles three times against the door.

"What the hell?" he heard her mutter under her breath as he listened to her toss her comforter aside and place her right foot against the hardwood floor. He had approximately seven seconds to flee. He could still change his mind. Five seconds. She was nearly to the door. This was such a mistake. She was going to absolutely hate him. Two seconds. It wasn't too late.

"Somebody had better have a damn good reason for,"

She stopped. Words seemed to have escaped her the second the door swung open and she saw who it was that stood behind it. She gaped at him in shock for a few seconds.

"Stefan?" she asked barely above a whisper. He nodded, awkwardly, unsure of whether or not he should immediately begin trying to explain or just start pleading for her to not slam the door in his face.

He didn't have time to do either. In a flash, her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck as she pressed her body firmly against his chest, pulling him into the strongest hug he'd had in ages, maybe even ever.

Shocked, it took him a few moments to be able to fully return the gesture.

"You're back. I can't believe you're here," she whispered softly.

He nodded slowly, resting his chin upon her shoulder and gently squeezing her tiny frame, not daring to let her go. He wasn't sure what had shocked him more: her surprising reaction or the unexpected appreciation and comfort he suddenly felt in holding her. She had instantly made returning home feel safe and, remarkably, worth it.

"Caroline," he finally began. "I'm so sor,"

"Jerk!" she shouted, interrupting his apology attempt. She quickly pulled away from him as she took a step back and shoved him in the chest, forcing him backwards a few steps.

"Do you have any idea what kind of hell you've put me through? I've been worried sick about you! Six months! Six _damn_ months, Stefan! You can't call? Text? _Write_? What the hell?"

"I know," he nodded in surrender, trying desperately to keep his tone sincere. "Caroline, I'm so sorry."

She was angry, but Stefan could tell she wasn't kicking him out, at least not yet. She crossed her arms across her bright pink camisole and stood back, examining him, waiting for an explanation that would justify why he had left.

"I don't really have an excuse, or any reason that's going to make up for what I did," he said sadly as he put his hands in his front pockets and shrugged his shoulders. "I know that you risked a lot to save me; to bring me back from the other side and I just kind of left."

"_Kind of left_?" she shouted annoyed as she began tapping her foot. "You completely fell off the face of the earth! You didn't even say goodbye! I thought that maybe something terrible had happened to you or that maybe you were off on some sort of awful ripper binge! I thought," she paused as her tone softened. "I thought you hated me."

His face quickly filled with sadness as he took a step towards her and began gently rubbing her upper arms that were still crossed tightly.

"Caroline, I could never _hate_ you," he pleaded for her to understand. "Me leaving was about me. It was never about you. I just needed some time to clear my head; to get away. I couldn't think straight and leaving was the only choice I had left."

He watched as tears began to form behind her eyes. "The only choice _you_ had? What about me, Stefan? What about _my_ choices?" she pointed to herself, her voice on the verge of cracking. "I lost _everyone_ the day that damn other side disappeared, but I didn't get to just run away! I didn't get to just abandon my friends and ignore everyone!" She slowly pulled away from his arms and imploring gaze. "I know you needed some time," she nodded. "I get that. But why did you just shut me out?"

Stefan looked to the floor before meeting her tearful eyes again. "I honestly don't know," he sighed as he began to pace, running a hand through his hair. "Everything just felt different this time, you know? I just felt like I was trapped on some nauseatingly, sickening wheel that I couldn't escape, one that just made me want to kill a dozen people at every turn. That first week, I just kept waiting and thinking that, this was some kind of a joke; that they would come back and say that everything was okay; or at least that Jeremy would be able to see them and let us know that they were okay."

"Stefan," Caroline began.

"But when he didn't, I realized that they really were just _gone_," he continued on, interrupting her. "I've lost Damon before. I've lost him when I've flipped my switch, or when he's flipped his. I've lost him over Katherine and then Elena. I've even lost him by completely forgetting who he was," he paused as he took a breath, trying to gather his thoughts. "I've loved him, I've _hated_ him, I've looked up to him, and I've wanted him to be better. But," he paused as he took a seat on Caroline's empty bed, "I've never _actually_ lost him. I've never had to contemplate what it would be like to live in a world without my brother."

A tear slowly rolled down Caroline's cheek as he tried desperately to fight away any that threatened to fall down his.

"You know, ever since I left, I've been having these dreams," he began to explain as he looked down at his hands. "Memories really. Just of times before we were vampires. When things were simpler and we still had each other's backs. Before I lied to him about my feelings for Katherine. Before I forced him to turn. A time when death was a tragedy and killing people _actually_ meant something," he paused as he looked back up at her. "Did you know there was actually a time when Damon had to lecture _me_ about compassion?"

Caroline shook her head as she let out a sad sigh. "I know that I was never Damon's biggest fan," she said sadly as she moved to sit next to Stefan on the bed, "but you know, I would give anything to have him back here with you. Him and Bonnie."

Stefan nodded as he wrapped an arm around her and squeezed her upper arm in appreciation. He felt her lean in closer as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"These last few months have been _so_ hard," she said softly, attempting not to cry. "I've been trying to be strong for everyone, and I've been trying to hold it together for my mom and for Alaric and Elena, but," her voice trailed off as Stefan quickly wrapped her in another hug. "I just don't know if I can anymore."

"I know," he whispered as he gently stroked her back. "I'm so sorry."

He wasn't sure what it was about this moment, but as she clung to him for dear life, as though fearful he might runaway again; and as he held her in his arms, desperately wanting to comfort and alleviate her pain; something seemed to click. He hadn't realized how much he had missed her until now. Until this moment, he had never taken the time to truly appreciate how much he cared about her and, strangely enough, how much she cared for him. She'd been one of his few allies this past year and she had helped him recover from far too many traumatic events to count. From Elena, to Silas, to amnesia, and now with the loss of his brother, she'd been the only one to stick by him and not turn her back, even when she had every reason to.

He slowly pulled away. "Have I told you that I missed you yet?" She smiled and shook her head as he tucked a loose strand of her blonde hair behind her ears.

"Nor have you said 'thank you Caroline for helping to bring me back to life,'" she joked playfully.

He let out a small chuckle. "Thank you, Caroline," he said sincerely. "For everything. I honestly don't know where I'd be without you."

Their eyes met one another's. For a fleeting moment, he couldn't look away. Her ocean blue eyes were holding him captive. He was completely mesmerized and utterly amazed that she had suddenly left him speechless, possibly, even nervous. He couldn't even remember the last time anyone had caused his stomach to flip in the way it was currently doing right now. He suddenly remembered why he'd been so incredibly nervous to see her again: he was absolutely terrified of losing her. It had just been easier to avoid her than face the possible alternative of her hating him.

She suddenly cleared her throat and looked away, pulling him away from the thoughts that suddenly had his head spinning and heart racing.

"Aren't you going to get that?"

The buzzing sound of his phone seemed to finally reach his ears as he began to understand what she was talking about. "Yeah, sorry," he cleared his throat as well before finally reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone.

'Hello! Remember me? What'd she say?' read the text from Jessa.

"Who's Jessa?" asked Caroline, not caring to conceal that she'd read the message.

Stefan sighed. "I wanted to talk to you about that. I met Jessa in Portland,"

"So that's what you've been doing?" she interrupted, her tone full of frustration again. "While I've been here trying to keep Jeremy from killing himself and Elena from killing the town, you've been off frolicking with 'Jessas!" she mocked the name in plural form as she shook her head in annoyance. "God, I should have known."

Stefan couldn't help but smile as he watched her roll her eyes and cross her arms again. "Jessa is a _friend_," he stressed on the word, "a witch actually. She thinks she has a plan to help us find Damon and Bonnie."

Caroline's mouth dropped open slightly. "Oh," was all she could say. Stefan smiled as she began to mess with her hair in an attempt to conceal her slightly reddening cheeks. "What do you mean find Damon and Bonnie? How?"

"Well, it's complicated, which is part of the reason we came back," he said with a sigh. They both turned their heads to the window as the sudden, blaring sound of a car horn came through it. "And why she's here with me."

"You brought her _here_?" asked Caroline, her annoyance rising again. "To _my_ dorm room?"

"We couldn't go to the boarding house and I thought, maybe, if I explained everything, you would possibly let us crash here for a while?" he asked nervously.

Caroline couldn't help but glare at him, her temper rising again. "You haven't explained anything, Stefan! For all I know you've been sittin' in Portland sipping mojitos for six months with this 'witch,' while you use Jeremy to do your dirty work!"

"Jeremy?" he asked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I know about the Grimoire! I know that you're trying to find it, which means you have a plan, and I want in! So start talking or you're not getting it!"

Stefan tilted his head in confusion. "How could you have the Grimoire? I just spoke with Liv a few hours ago and she said it would be locked up safe and tight until we got here."

"Damn it," cursed Caroline, obviously getting called on her bluff.

Stefan couldn't help but chuckle at her attempt to lie. Even angry, he found her adorable. "I'll tell you everything you want to know," he quickly took ahold of her hand that was on her knee, "and I promise you, there's nothing going on with me and Jessa."

Caroline quickly glanced down at his hand on hers before sighing in defeat. "Fine," she slowly returned his smile and nodded. "Tell her to come on up. You're both welcome to stay for as long as you need. Actually," she shrugged her shoulders, "it might be kind of nice to have the company."

"Speaking of company," he asked as he simultaneously texted Jessa back, "where's Elena? And what do you mean you're having to keep her from 'killing the town?"

Caroline sighed, "Oh where to begin. Let's just say Elena isn't in the best place right now."

"What do you mean?" he asked, hitting the send button and then putting his phone away.

"Well," Caroline drug out. "Do you remember how she used to journal her feelings and drink from blood bags and take care of her brother and be an all around, adored member of our beloved community?"

Stefan nodded.

"Okay now picture the exact opposite. On everything."

Stefan stared at her in disbelief. "She can't be_ that_ bad. I mean, it _is_ Elena we're talking about."

"No," Caroline shook her head. "It's bad. Her journal has been replaced by alcohol, and the blood bags by random frat guys. She hasn't been to class in ages and the only community recognition she'll be getting is if she sets the record for world's highest bar tab."

"World's highest bar tab?" came a sudden voice from the doorway. "I'm down to try and break that record!" Both Caroline and Stefan stood as Jessa entered the dorm room, rolling a suitcase behind her. "Wow," she whistled as she looked around. "If this is what it's like to go to college, sign me up! This place is bigger than my whole apartment!"

"You live above a bar," Stefan retorted playfully as she shrugged her shoulders in agreement. Caroline eyed her cautiously, as if still debating on whether or not to hate her.

"You must be Caroline," she smiled as she made her way forward with an extended hand, her long, softly curled copper-brown hair swaying behind her as she walked. "I've heard so much about you."

Caroline forced a smile as she shook her hand. "Well, I wish I could say the same."

Jessa nodded, as if expecting her reaction, and turned to smile at Stefan. "I see you haven't gotten to the part about how fabulous I am yet."

"I'm pretty good at judging 'fabulous' on my own, thanks," she smirked as she made finger quotes around the word.

"Aw, so snarky! I love it!" smiled Jessa. "Yea, she's definitely a keeper, Stef!"

He couldn't help but laugh at Caroline's shocked expression, even though he could feel himself blushing. "You'll have to excuse Jessa," he quickly apologized for her. "She's,"

"Charming? Awesome? Amazingly talented?" Jessa chimed in as she began giving herself a tour of the room.

"A little blunt," he finished. "But she is a really good witch. And she thinks she can help us."

"And we're just supposed to trust you? I'm sorry," she said turning to Stefan, "are you crazy? You just met this girl! Have you learned nothing over the last few years of our lives? New people equal bad idea. Secretive, yet overly helpful witches equal hidden agendas! We can't trust her! She's obviously using you to get a moonstone, or doppelgänger blood, or,"

"A grimoire?" she finished. "Yeah, I am. But I promise, I'll give it back."

Stefan observed her as she continued to walk around the room, almost as if admiring every square inch. Her red fitted top, covered by a denim jacket, paired with her skinny jeans and matched with a pair of black converse reminded him of something Elena would wear. He knew it was unrealistic of him to expect Caroline to immediately trust Jessa, but if something so simple could help, it wouldn't hurt.

"Can someone just please explain to me what the deal is with the stupid grimoire?" Caroline finally shouted as she threw her hands up exasperated.

Jessa turned to Stefan again. "What the hell were you two talking about up here? Or do I even wanna know?" she smirked and winked before turning back to Caroline.

"It's simple really. I'm going to use Bonnie's Grimoire as a sort of connection to do a locator spell. And while I'm doing that, Liv has agreed to help send her brother temporarily over to the other side to try and find where it leads him. Essentially, we'll all be connected and able to communicate."

"What do you mean _temporarily_ send him? The other side is gone you guys! Jeremy has tried hundred's of times to be able to see ghosts and he can't anymore. There's nothing and no one there!" shouted Caroline in frustration. "What happens if you try and send Luke there and you _actually_ kill him?"

"We won't kill him," Jessa assured. "Between the two of us, we'll be able to bring him back and, regardless of what happened to the other side, the spirits had to have left some sort of a trace of their magic behind. All of that magic had to have gone somewhere. The witches wouldn't have just abandoned it. So wherever or, whomever, they left it with, will be up to Luke to find."

"So what you're saying is," said Caroline slowly, trying to understand, "it's possible that the witches found a way to save their magic, and if you're connected to both Bonnie and Luke, and he's on the other side, then he could possibly find whatever it is, or whomever it is, they left it with? Possibly even, another realm that's holding Bonnie and Damon? Maybe others?"

"Exactly," smiled Jessa as she finally plopped herself down onto Bonnie's former bed.

Caroline sighed as she too resumed sitting on her own bed. "Wow," she said looking over to Stefan. "How is it even possible for our lives to get anymore complicated?"

Stefan shook his head as he took a seat on Elena's old bed. "Well, it is _our_ lives."

"I'll trust you because I trust him," she finally said as she looked from Jessa to Stefan. "And because, I made Elena a promise that I would do everything I could to help bring them back, but I swear to God if you're lying or looking to betray us for your own evil agenda in anyway, I _will_ kill you," she said with a threatening, but equally warm smile.

Jessa smiled. "Fair." She then turned to Stefan, "See, I told you."

Stefan smirked and shook his head as Caroline gave him a confused glance.

"So, about that bar tab competition!" laughed Jessa as she fell backwards onto the bed and curled up against the pillow. "What do ya say tomorrow, we take a much needed break from resurrection class and hit the town. I definitely need a drink after that trip and I'm anxious to see what Whitmore's all about."

Caroline sighed. "Well, tomorrow is Matt's second graduation party." Stefan arched his eyebrow. "Long story," she acknowledged. "I guess we could go to that. I'm sure Elena will be there."

Stefan, who had followed Jessa's lead in lying down, propped his head on his arm and looked back over at Caroline, a worried expression clearly forming due to their prior conversation.

"Sounds great," they heard Jessa say softly, clearly giving in to the exhaustion that had finally befallen her.

As Caroline stood to turn off the lights and returned to her bed, Stefan couldn't help but watch her. As she redrew the comforter over her and laid her head down on the pillow, his eyes again met hers. Even through the darkness, he could still see the look of sadness and worry that filled them. For a moment, it took everything he had to not rush back over to her and hug her again. He truly did feel like such a jerk. Through all of their dark moments this past year, he'd never really stopped to consider the repercussions everything must have had on her. She'd been the only one to not turn off her humanity or go on a killing spree or shut everyone out. Instead, she bore the weight of not only her own problems, but of everyone else's. He hated himself for leaving her, but he knew deep down, he'd had no choice.

Just like Elena, he'd suddenly found himself in a world of despair and darkness after the collapsing of the other side. He'd been so pained with the guilt of knowing his brother had sacrificed himself to save him, that he'd had no room for thoughts of anything other than ways to bring him back. Damon had fought to save him from tomb vampires, Klaus, Silas and even Markos. He owed it to his brother to never give up until he could do the same – he just hoped it didn't cost him the only person he had left.

"Goodnight," he whispered through the darkness. But no one replied. It was obvious that Caroline, who looked as though she hadn't slept in months, was finally fast asleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out! I've been out of town for the last few days, so it's been difficult to find some spare time to write. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter just because flashbacks are always something I enjoy on the show (btw Stefan and Damon are referencing the Battle of the Crater that took place on July 30, 1864), and because I enjoy some of the more simpler moments of recognition and clarity between the characters. I apologize that not a whole lot of plot-thickening excitement happened in this chapter, but I felt like it was necessary to stop and touch base with Stefan as he returned home. Honestly, if I could just sit and write a complete character analysis of each person, I totally would because I feel like there is so much to be said about what they have each went through and what they are all uniquely experiencing.

Thanks again for all of your wonderfully kind reviews! Your support has meant the world to me and I hope you'll continue to stick with me this summer as we progress through this crazy journey! Thanks again!


	11. Raining

**Raining  
**_Don't want to be here...  
__Don't want you to see my crying  
__Don't want to feel this…  
__Feel like I could give up trying  
__Then it falls on down  
____________Anchors to my bones…  
______________I feel like dying_

* * *

**Elena's POV: **

Hope in the midst of grief is tricky. On the one hand, it's a beautiful notion; to believe that there exists, somewhere out there, the ability to reverse the damage done to a heart that's been stricken with sorrow. The idea that we can control our fates, turn back the clock, restore what was lost and reinstate our faith in humanity again. The incredibly ridiculous concept that death is not a permanent means to an end; that there is a way to overcome the impossible; a way to break the laws of nature and bring home those who we've lost - such a gloriously, wonderfully, hopeful notion.

On the other hand, hope is foolish. It is a wishful, tortuous fantasy that threatens to overtake our sense of reality and impose in its place a ludicrous fairytale. Hope threatens to raise our faith so high, that when it inevitably falls, it literally crashes and burns, leaving us even more helpless and defeated than before. It is dangerous to hold onto hope so tightly that losing it could mean losing everything all over again. So, to what lengths do we follow it? What are we willing to sacrifice for it? If the answer isn't everything, then forget about it. There is no point. If we are not prepared to go all the way, to do whatever it takes, to acknowledge the risk that all of that blind, recklessly-irrational faith could be for nothing, then it is useless. Latching onto hope is a commitment; one that cannot be broken until we are left facing the inevitable truth _again_: that dead is dead, and there is no coming back from it.

All of these tiresome thoughts ran through Elena's head as she dangled her legs off the edge of the roof, letting them swing back and forth nonchalantly. The noise from the college bar drifted upwards and served as a constant reminder of the party that raged a few stories below her; a party she should currently be attending.

Poor Matt, she thought. It had been a huge day for him, and she truly was so proud of everything he had accomplished over the last few months. She should be downstairs celebrating with her friend, hugging him, toasting him; _congratulating_ him on his graduation. But instead, here she sat, alone, with no one but the misery of her own thoughts for company and the words of their last conversation on loop in her head. She had truly turned into the worst friend of all time.

At the thought, she picked up the bottle of whiskey she had stolen from behind the bar when Liv wasn't looking, and took a swig. "Damn," she exhaled deeply and let out a soft cough at the strong aftertaste as she sat it back down on the ledge. "How'd you do this everyday?" she laughed slightly as she glanced up at the stars. However, due to the glare of the town lights and the evening fog that was currently rolling in, none were visible.

She sighed as she returned her gaze upon the town. The sight of the passing cars made her feel nauseous – serving as a reminder of her and Damon's final night together – and the groups of friends and pairs of couples that walked happily down the street together made her feel bitter – reminding her of the future she'd never have with him. She had no idea what sort of future she'd been expecting or what sort of plans she'd been hoping to make, but all she knew now was that Damon wouldn't be in them and _that_, in her opinion, was a tragedy and not a future worth having.

The rooftop was giving her déjà vu of the time they'd spent together in New York. Everything about it reminded her of that evening - except, instead of overlooking a busy city filled with skyscrapers and yellow taxis, it only overlooked a quiet, small town filled with tiny shops and annoying, overly friendly residents. And this time, her humanity was fully intact and Damon was not here, allowing her heart to feel every painful stab of guilt and regret from that night. She took it back. Nothing about this rooftop reminded her of that evening.

She took another drink from the bottle as she fought to keep her tears at bay. She'd been determined to keep it together tonight; determined to not self-destruct and determined to remain emotionally stable, both for her friends and herself. But she'd barely made it all of five seconds at the party before she felt the air escaping her lungs and the familiar waves of panic and despair racing throughout her entire body. Normally, she'd handle the attack by either drinking it away or feeding on any nearby, unsuspecting victim until she couldn't see or think straight, but tonight, in-light of Matt's party, she'd opted to flee the scene as quickly as possible. She hadn't even known where she was going until she'd ended up here – on the roof, thinking of him.

She knew she was being selfish. She knew she had become an unkind, mean and, an often, spiteful person – hell she was practically unlovable at this point and the fact that Caroline, Alaric and Jeremy even still tolerated her was a miracle in itself. But the problem remained that, regardless of how willing she was to acknowledge the destructive path she was on or how much she understood where her friends were coming from, she literally felt powerless to turn back and stop it. She knew it sounded silly – possibly even ridiculous or like some made-up excuse; like the type of thing a child would say in the midst of a tantrum – but she honestly had no idea how she was supposed to be _happy_ anymore.

"Am I just supposed to pretend that everything's okay?" she whispered to no one but the night sky. "Like it doesn't matter that you're gone," she paused, "along with Jenna, and my parents, _and_ my best friend? Is that just supposed to be _fine_? Am I just supposed to accept that and move on? Is that what you want me to do?" the tears were beginning to fall again as she looked down at her hands and then back up. "Because that's bull-shit and you know it. You would never accept that if the situation were reversed," she found herself standing and pacing alongside the ledge of the roof as she ran a hand through her hair, desperate to keep from completely losing it.

"What happened to not being selfish with me, huh?" Her voice had begun to rise slightly as her pacing quickened. "Because right now, it feels like you're being pretty fucking selfish," she ran another hand through her hair as the tears began to fall more rapidly. "You _promised_ you'd come back to me! You said you saw a future with me and now," she faltered, "and now,"

She took a deep breath and leaned over, placing her hands upon her knees, as she continued to dispute the sobs that were determined to choke her; the attack of grief that her body begged her to give in to. "This isn't fair," she said weakly, giving in. "Nothing about this is fair. We were supposed to have more time"

The funny and tragic thing about losing someone is that there is never a way of knowing the _'lasts'_ – the last word's you'll say, the last look you'll exchange, the last picture you'll take, the last laugh you'll share, the last fight, the last argument – until it's too late; until it's the only thing that continues to play in your head on loop, leaving nothing but regret and 'what ifs.' And what makes the whole thing so damn frustrating, she thought, is that they were supposed to have an eternity of '_firsts_', not 'lasts'. Wasn't that the point of being a vampire, to have an overwhelmingly, endless amount of time to get it all right? There was supposed to be time. There was _always_ supposed to be more time.

She took another deep breath as she struggled to regain her composure. It had been months of silence – months of talking to the walls, the sky, her pillow – months of desperation in waiting for answers that never came. The recent dreams had been as close as she'd gotten to having any contact, and yet, they'd only made the silence that followed more deafening. She wanted answers. She wanted, no _needed_, to believe there was hope. She needed the chance to make things right, a chance to take back all the fights and wasted moments.

Why had she waited so long to finally admit her feelings for Damon? Why had she ever wasted a second away from him? Why had they wasted so much time dwelling on and arguing about such ridiculously trivial issues that no longer even mattered? She could find a million reasons and a million different people to blame, including herself, but all of the excuses in the world wouldn't bring him back. They couldn't erase the past or change their fate.

But magic could.

Magic had proven time and time again that it could do the impossible. It could alter outcomes and re-write history. It could restore and rebuild. Hadn't it proven so with Jeremy, Stefan, Enzo and even Alaric? She ultimately had no choice but to commit to hope.

At this point, she had absolutely nothing left to lose, including herself.

This desperate and foolish acknowledgement of hope quickly seemed to replenish her strength. She was tired of waiting and tired of being a sad, pathetic mess.

She suddenly picked herself up, wiped away her tears, and fluffed her hair in an attempt to hide the pain of the past thirty minutes. She quickly stepped up to the ledge of the roof, and upon looking down to make sure there were no witnesses, jumped down. She landed with a soft thud and with such ease that it felt as if she'd done nothing more than take a small step down a stair.

As she walked into the college bar and began navigating her way through the vivaciously drunken crowd, she spotted her target. She began pushing her way up to the front of the bar, ignored those who glared at her as she knocked them aside, and began tapping her fingers impatiently on the worn, wooden surface.

"We need to talk!" she shouted above the noise of the blaring music and chattering crowd.

"Not tonight, Elena," shouted Liv catching her eye, but not stopping her work to frantically mix a Jack and Coke while simultaneously filling a pint glass from the Samuel Adams tap. "We're way too damn busy to deal with whatever kind of crazy is going on with the Gilberts tonight."

"I know you're working with Stefan!" she shouted again, ignoring her. "And I want to know why. What is he planning?"'

"You sound just like your brother," she smirked as she exchanged the beer for the ten-dollar bill. "And I'll tell you exactly what I told him," she paused for a brief moment as she opened the cash register and made change. "Go home. Whatever deal Stefan and I have made, it doesn't concern you."

"It does if you're trying to find Damon," she shouted again, trying to keep her voice non-threatening.

"I need a gin and tonic!" shouted a drunken girl who stumbled into Elena, waving a twenty-dollar bill in front of Liv. Liv sighed apologetically to Elena as she turned away to begin filling the order.

"You know, I've found the use of torture to be a highly successful tool in getting people to do what you want."

Elena jumped suddenly at the sound of the smooth, British accent that was looming dangerously close to her right ear. Enzo smirked at her as he moved in to lean across the bar and extended his arms behind it to help himself to a bottle of Tequila and two shot glasses. "Isn't that right, Liv?"

She stopped what she was doing as she glared at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh relax," he smirked innocently at her as he began filling the glasses. "I'm not here for you." He turned back to Elena as he handed her the second glass. "Quite the party. Give my regards to your friend Matt," he clicked the 't' on Matt's name as he made a cheers motion and shot back the drink.

Elena held the drink reluctantly in her hand as she glared at him. "Aren't you supposed to be in Florida, or something? I mean Damon _did_ sacrifice himself to bring you back, so how about you do us all a favor and live out the rest of your eternity away from us?" She smiled sarcastically before attempted to turn and walk away from him, however, she quickly felt him grab her arm and pull her back.

"I never intended for Damon to die," he said solemnly as he held her gaze intensely, his face only a few inches from hers.

She quickly pulled her arm away from him and took a step back, annoyed and unconvinced. "Sure you didn't. Because haunting and threatening him was just your way of playing a game, right?" she smirked sarcastically. "Damon cared about you and you took advantage of that."

"Well aren't you little miss judgy?" he smirked as he refilled himself another shot. "Damon owed me a favor. I was just collecting my dues. Besides," he said as he shot back another drink, "you and I both know that the real reason Damon's in this mess is because he was coming after his brother, not me. So don't kid yourself."

"Okay," she nodded in agreement, "yeah. We wanted Stefan back, and yeah, that might have made matters a little more urgent and complicated, but I know Damon. I had to see the look in his eyes when he found out you were dead," she rose up to look him more squarely in the eyes. "Trust me. He wouldn't have stopped until he'd found a way to save you. And you know why?" She asked as she slowly reached down and took his free hand in hers. He looked down in confusion at their hands and then back to her eyes. "Because he owed me the imperative favor of kicking your ass." Before he could respond, she quickly squeezed his hand until the unmistakable sound of cracking bones could be heard. "That's for snapping my neck," she whispered before quickly twisted his wrist before he could pull away, snapping it as well. "And that's for the cabin."

He gasped in pain as the crowd around them suddenly stopped what they were doing to watch. She heard a few 'whoa!'s followed by their amused, yet concerned, chatter before she suddenly felt someone place their hand on her shoulder and pull her back.

"Elena!" she felt Enzo tug away from her as she slowly released him and turned to see Caroline standing behind her. "What the hell? What's going on?"

She didn't even have the chance to form a coherent thought as the sight of Stefan behind her caught her completely off guard.

"Stefan?"

He stepped around Caroline and smiled with a shrug. "Nice to see you're staying out of trouble."

She quickly moved in to hug him. The feeling of his arms around her felt like a huge relief she hadn't realized she'd needed until now. "I've missed you," she whispered. Though the blaring of the music throughout the bar would have prevented a human from hearing her words, she knew he hadn't missed them.

"I missed you too," he sighed against her shoulder.

"So I _admit_ I probably deserve that," came the irritated voice of Enzo from behind them, causing them to break apart. They watched as he rotated his newly healed wrist. "But if you're unwilling to let bygones be bygones then I don't suppose there's really any reason for me to tell you how to bring your lover and bestie back, now is there?" he began to turn and walk away.

Elena watched and hesitated as she debated on whether or not her next words would be a mistake. "Wait," she called out.

He stopped, turned back around and smiled. "That's what I thought."

Elena suddenly turned back to Stefan. "Can we talk? Maybe go somewhere and catch up?"

Before Stefan could respond, a very beautiful girl, a few-inches shorter than herself, suddenly grabbed onto his arm. "What did I tell you!" she shouted gloatingly as she placed her hands on her hips. "Told you Liv would put in the good word for me. I'm officially an employed citizen of this town!" she smirked.

"Wait, you got a job? _Here_?" spoke up Caroline, looking slightly annoyed. "_Why_?"

The girl shrugged playfully. "Not all of us can compel ourselves dinner. Besides, I'm a damn good bartender," she smirked looking quite proud of herself. Stefan shrugged and nodded in agreement.

Caroline rolled her eyes. Noticing Elena's clearly confused expression though, she quickly spoke up. "Elena this is Jessa," she motioned back to her. "Jessa, Elena."

Elena wasn't sure whether or not to shake her hand so instead she just put one hand up in an awkward, acknowledging wave.

"Elena Gilbert," grinned Jessa as she nodded. "I've heard a lot about you!"

"Yikes," smiled Elena looking to Stefan. "Hopefully not _all_ bad."

Before Jessa could continue, Enzo stepped forward, interrupting. "So, should I just go back to 'Florida' now, or do you want to hear what I have to say?"

"Um, I vote Florida, or maybe even Hell. Or do they not want you there either?" Caroline tilted her head and smirked sarcastically, clearly annoyed.

"Caroline Forbes," Enzo said slyly as he stepped towards her. "Did you miss me? Don't pretend you haven't been thinking about me all summer."

She let out a sigh of disgust. "If in 'thinking about you,' you mean 'hoping you got hit by a bus,' then yeah," she nodded, "totally."

"Okay, okay," said Stefan stepping in before turning to Enzo. "Look, we appreciate that you want to help, but in addition to not trusting you, I think we've got it covered, but thanks anyway."

"Do you?" asked Elena hopeful, yet annoyed. "Have it covered? Because I haven't heard anything from anyone in six months so if someone has it covered, please share." She looked back at Enzo anxiously. "I don't care who it is."

"I'll explain everything later," promised Stefan. "But tonight, we kind of thought we'd just hang out for a bit. Catch up."

"So if I'm understanding this correctly," intervened Enzo again, stepping in the middle of the three of them. "You would rather not have the help of someone, like me, who coincidentally spent quite some time on the Other Side waiting for you idiots to formulate a plan, and who also happened to have heard some inside information about what the witches were planning? That's of absolutely no interest to anyone here, correct?" They all three stared at him. "Okay then," he finished as he again turned to leave.

"Wait," said Elena and Stefan in unison, both clearly annoyed.

Enzo again stopped, turned back around and smirked at them.

"Matt!" shouted Caroline as he suddenly pushed through the crowd towards them, holding his beer high above his head. "Aw, congratulations!" she shouted as she hugged him tightly, abandoning the previous conversation.

"Thank you!" he shouted back upon releasing her. "It feels so good to actually be the one getting a drink and not serving it!" He chuckled. "And just think, as of tomorrow, I'll officially have a real job, with _benefits_!"

Elena couldn't help but smile at the rosiness in his cheeks and the slur of his words from the alcohol. Noticing her for the first time, he smiled even brighter. "Still friends or can I _not_ give you a hug?"

Elena let out a small laugh. "You better." As he leaned in and squeezed her tightly, she whispered, "I'm so sorry."

He hugged her tighter and began rocking from side-to-side, as if dancing with her. "I know. And I guess I'll forgive you. But just this one time."

She laughed as he pulled away from her, holding up one finger and waving it at her.

"Speaking of serving drinks," came Jessa's voice, "I should go see if Liv need's a hand. Just because I'm not on the clock yet doesn't mean I shouldn't get tipped," she winked.

Matt, turning to acknowledge the girl standing next to Stefan, suddenly had a huge grin on his face. He quickly extended his hand and stepped towards her. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Matt."

Jessa giggled at his gesture. "Jessa," she introduced herself as she shook his hand. "And I do believe congratulations are in order."

"Oh this?" Matt looked around at the party. "Just a few close friends. No big deal."

Their hand's continued to shake awkwardly as Matt blabbered on about how un-big of a deal it was. Elena smiled as she watched Jessa's face. She couldn't tell if she was charmed, intrigued or just being extremely polite. Either way, she found Matt's suddenly awkward interest in Jessa to be nothing short of adorable.

"Let me buy you a drink?" she heard him ask as he finally released their hands. Jessa giggled again and slowly nodded. Without a second glance back they both made their way over towards the bar.

"Great," spoke Caroline annoyed as she crossed her arms, watching them. "Now she's suckered Matt in with her witchy charm too. You'd better hope she's not a psycho," she turned back to Stefan.

"So, I'm confused," spoke Elena as she glanced back at Jessa. "_Who_ is she exactly?"

As Caroline and Stefan filled her in on how they'd met and how she'd moved into their old dorm or, as Caroline put it, 'swooped in like she owned the place,' Elena felt her renewed hope growing stronger.

"So, she knows something, about how to bring them back? Stefan, that's great! We have to try! What are we waiting for?"

"They're waiting to know if it's a trap or not," interrupted Enzo again, who'd resumed pouring himself another drink. When they all three looked at him confused, he smirked. "Oh I thought you knew everything?" He mocked.

"Oh cut the crap and just tell us what you know," spoke Caroline exasperated.

"You're so sexy when you're all," he shot back the drink and rolled his shoulders, "fired up."

Stefan glared at him and stepped between them. Elena almost wondered if he was on the verge of punching him.

"I'm going to pretend for two seconds that we're all on the same side here," he stated as he crossed his arms. "What do you know?"

Enzo smirked. "Alright fine, but only because I'm in a particularly good mood today." Caroline and Elena exchanged a quick, nervous glance. "During everyone's whole 'oh my God, the Other Side is disappearing, what do we do?' debacle, the witches were a _little_ busy planning what to do about their magic."

"We already know this," spat Caroline. "The witches had to have left their magic with something or someone. That's all you've got?"

Elena looked at her, confused and annoyed that she'd been left out of the loop, but Enzo continued.

"Well then I suppose I don't need to tell you that that _someone_ was Bonnie then, now do I?" he smirked cockily.

Elena arched her eyebrows; her eyes widening and heart pounding. "Bonnie? So does that mean," she trailed off.

"Wait, how do you know that?" asked Stefan, unconvinced.

"Let's just say Sheila liked me about as much as Bonnie did," he winked.

They all three exchanged a look at the mention of Sheila. How could he have known Bonnie's Grams, unless…?

After a few moments of initial shock, Elena felt herself growing angry. "So you've known? This entire time, you've known that the witches were planning on giving their magic to Bonnie, ensuring that she'd survive; that she's _alive_ somewhere! How could you not say anything? How could you just _leave_?"

Enzo shrugged and smirked. "Well, Damon _did_ leave me to die with Augustine. The least I could do was give him a little time to think about it."

Elena suddenly felt herself lunging at him. Before either Stefan or Caroline could pull her back, she felt the easy snapping of his neck between her fingers. Stefan flew to catch his limp body before it hit the ground, attempting to keep the drunken crowd oblivious from what had just happened.

"Elena!" shouted Caroline. But she didn't care. She felt her temper, mixed with that same persistent, demanding grief she'd felt on the roof, beginning to boil over. She watched as Stefan put an arm around Enzo's shoulder and carried him towards the back of the bar, as though assisting a drunken friend.

"Elena, I know you're upset but you have to cool it, okay?" pleaded Caroline as she grabbed Elena's shoulders and looked around the bar nervously.

"I don't care," she shouted back at her. "How long have you known? How long have you been working with Stefan and whatserface," she struggled to remember the name. "Jessa? Did you know? Is it possible? Did the witches leave their magic with Bonnie?"

Caroline looked hurt. "I honestly don't know, Elena. I know just as much as you do and I only found out last night. But you have to calm down okay? We're still in _public_."

"I don't care!" she shouted again, annoyed by Caroline's obvious un-interest in this new development. "Let's find Liv. And Jessa. They clearly know something we don't. There has to be a spell. Yes, there has to be," she nodded her head, feeling frantic and desperate. "Let's find them and do the spell. _Now_!"

She turned around and tried desperately to search the crowded bar for the two witches, but they were nowhere to be found. Had Stefan gotten to them first? What were they planning? If Bonnie held all of the Spirit magic, this meant that she was not only, _possibly_, alive, but so was Damon. Her heart raced rapidly at the possibility. Nothing else mattered. She didn't care if she had to compel the entire bar or snap more necks. If there was a spell to be done, it was happening. Tonight.

She looked back over her shoulder to see if Caroline was following, but she had disappeared. When she turned back around, she was suddenly standing in front of her. "What are you,"?

But before she could finish, there was the quick flash of Caroline's hands to her neck, the loud sound of cracking bones ringing through her ear, and then, darkness.

* * *

**A/N: **Wow! You guys are amazing! Thanks so much for all of the kind reviews! I'm so, SO sorry for another huge delay in updating. Over the last month I have literally been ALL over the country – from Albuquerque, Austin, Chicago, NYC to Canada – so needless to say my life has been CRAZY! I promise I haven't abandoned the story though, and as of today, I am officially settled for a bit so I think I'll have more time to write. AND I'm super motivated because the next few chapters are going to be fun . Stay tuned, and of course, please review! Thanks so much!

P.S. The song _Raining_ by Of Verona is another great song to check out for this chapter :)


	12. Say Anything

**Say Anything**

_We won't break if we let go  
__You and I already know  
__We were bound to be set free eventually  
__So here we are now  
__You can say anything_

* * *

**Jessa's POV:**

She wasn't quite sure how it happened exactly. Maybe somewhere between the playful argument of how the West Coast was so much better than the East (which, _hello_! Have you seen those sunsets? Not to mention the best food, bars and beaches on the planet!), or possibly during the flirtatious competition of who could prepare the better Bloody Mary (to which she'd easily taken the victory in due to his inability to subtly sneak all of the correct ingredients from behind the bar when Liv wasn't looking – an endeavor that had turned into quite the hilarious affair), or maybe it was after their shared, minor sob story over both growing up alone and, coincidentally, having both lost a sibling.

Then again, maybe it was just the five shots of tequila he'd bought her. Yeah, it was probably that.

Either way, an hour and a half later, Jessa and Matt suddenly found themselves stumbling towards the back of the bar and into the storage room, colliding together with heated passion and desperate desire. As his lips crashed into hers and his hands roamed down her back, tugging on her dress eagerly, hers quickly found their way to the bottom of his V-neck t-shirt as she pulled on the hem playfully. His lips moved rapidly from her lips to her neck and then to her collarbone. She felt him slowly slide the thin strap of her dress down her shoulder as he left a trail of open-mouthed kisses in its place. Her head leaned back against the door in longing as she allowed him to continue.

In another quick moment, she was being lifted from the ground, her legs wrapping around his waist as he leveraged her against the door and supported the remainder of her weight in his arms. As their lips reconnected, she felt herself being carried away from the back of the door. She heard the sound of a bottle shattering to the ground as they accidentally bumped into a nearby shelf just before she felt her back being pressed against another wall. She smiled, but he didn't seem to miss a beat as his hand began slowly edging up the back of her thigh, pushing her dress further upward as it neared closer and closer to her ass. She felt her arousal building as his lips again left hers and made their way along her jawline, all the while his center pressing deeper and more forcefully into that sweet spot between her thighs. She couldn't help the low moan that escaped her lips as his hand began to roam under the lace of her panties. She felt him take hold of her right hand with his free one and move it above her head, pinning it there as their lips rejoined; the kiss deepening as his tongue began exploring her mouth more urgently.

Her heart was beating rapidly and her chest rose and fell quickly between them as he slowly lowered her hand. Their eyes met for a brief moment through the darkness, almost as if he was asking her if she was sure she wanted to do this. It wasn't that she was exactly foreign to casual hookups – she very much enjoyed her right to have a one-night stand in the same detached, lighthearted manner as any man, this _is_ the twenty-first century after all – but something about Matt was making her extremely nervous. In addition to the fear of royally fucking up the possibility of any future friendships she might make in this town (seriously, did he know _everyone_?), there was the extremely terrifying possibility that she might wake up tomorrow _actually_ caring about him.

'_No'_, she thought quickly. '_Get a grip, Jessa._ _That's just the alcohol talking._'

Just as she was about to unhook the belt from his jeans and remove it, the sound of Caroline's booming voice from outside the storage room door suddenly halted their entire escapade.

"Well what else was I _supposed_ to do?" She shouted. There was a long pause. "I know, I know." Another pause. She was obviously on the phone. "Yeah, she's in the back. Just bring the car around." Silence. "Well, we can't carry her through the entire _bar_!" Silence. "Yeah, we'll be waiting at the back door."

They suddenly jumped apart as the door flew open. In the few moments that Caroline struggled to find the light switch, Matt struggled to re-adjust his shirt and belt as Jessa quickly began pulling down her dress to straighten it to its former, modest, location.

As the lights suddenly illuminated the room, Caroline froze, her phone still in her hand, as she gawked at them. "Matt?" she asked looking from him to Jessa.

"Caroline," Matt acknowledged, nodding awkwardly as a long pause followed.

"Were you two just," her voice trailed off as she pointed from him to her. Neither of them said anything. Jessa, feeling slightly breathless and lightheaded, attempted to look away, but she couldn't prevent the huge grin that was overtaking her face. "Oh my God!" shouted Caroline, looking partly embarrassed, partly shocked. "Unbelievable."

"My thoughts exactly," sighed Matt in frustration as he looked back, sadly, at Jessa.

"Seriously? Could this night get anymore bizarre?" Caroline said looking up, as if talking to herself.

"I should, um, probably get going," Jessa said softly as she cleared her throat and attempted to step around Matt. "Have you seen Stefan, by chance?" She asked Caroline.

Continuing to glare at her, Caroline nodded her head. "He went to take Enzo," she paused, "somewhere. We're currently attempting to hide dead," she corrected, "-ish, vampires."

"What?" Matt asked confused.

"Yeah, the bodies just keep piling up," Caroline laughed nervously, as she rocked forward on her feet and then back down. "Exhibit A," she then indicated towards a darkened corner of the storage room.

Jessa and Matt followed her extended hand and, for the first time, noticed the body of Elena Gilbert sitting on the floor, her back and head propped up against the two adjoining walls.

"Elena?" asked Matt sadly, as he quickly rushed over and knelt beside her. Jessa watched as he tenderly brushed a stray hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

"See? Good thing I came along. Talk about super awkward, huh?" Caroline again laughed nervously. "If she woulda woke up, I mean."

Jessa couldn't help but let out a small laugh at Caroline's obvious discomfort at the situation.

"Is she okay? What the hell happened?" continued Matt, still looking incredibly concerned.

"Do you really have to ask?" asked Caroline with an arched eyebrow.

Matt stood, clearly understanding something as he nodded.

"Ric's on his way. Hopefully he'll be here before she wakes up and we can just sneak her out the back."

"What are we gonna do, Care?" Asked Matt. "This is seriously getting ridiculous. I'm really getting worried about her."

Caroline nodded in agreement. "I think that maybe it's my fault," she hesitated nervously. "I sorta promised her that I'd help her keep searching for a way to bring Damon and Bonnie back. Maybe that was a mistake," she sighed as she looked at Elena's lifeless body.

Matt ran a hand through his already messy hair in frustration. "Care, I know you wanna help her, but giving her false hope is seriously just a disaster waiting to happen, okay? I miss Bonnie and my sister and, hell, maybe even Damon sometimes, but they're gone. Haven't we learned our lesson from tampering with ghosts and dark magic yet?"

"I know," Caroline nodded. "You're right. It's just," she frowned as her voice softened. "I don't want to see her like this anymore, you know?"

Matt nodded sadly.

"I can help," spoke up Jessa suddenly. She hadn't been sure if she was ready to finally do what she'd came here to do, but watching them both in their helplessness – and seeing the devastation and desperation in Elena - reminded her of someone; someone that she'd once seen in the mirror everyday.

Both Matt and Caroline suddenly looked at her, confusion clearly evident on their faces.

Jessa looked to Caroline first. "When your friend Ric gets here, tell him to take you and Elena to the place where Luke was killed. Call Stefan. Tell him to meet you there." She turned to Matt. "Can you find me Liv? Tell her to get Luke and the Grimoire. We'll meet you guys out there," she said matter-of-factly back to Caroline.

Matt remained where he was and eyed her suspiciously. "What are you,"?

"I'll also need candles, and water," she thought frantically, interrupting him. "And salt and,"

"Doppelgängers?" asked Caroline, in a slight smart-alack-y tone. They both looked at her. "What? It's always the necessary ingredient these days." She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Yes, actually," spoke Jessa assuredly. "Since the disappearance of the Other Side, witches have only been able to rely on natural magic. We can only draw from nature, or powerful, reoccurring elements, and other living witches. Stefan and Elena will help make the spell stronger."

"Wait," asked Matt, trying to keep track, "why are you helping? If you can still practice magic, why do you care if we find Bonnie and Damon?"

"I don't care about Damon and Bonnie, _necessarily_," she paused. "No-offense," she quickly added. "I care about regaining access to Spirit magic, and I care about discovering what, or who, is still over there."

Matt paused, as he seemed to be slowly putting the pieces together. "You're trying to find someone, aren't you?" He nodded, feeling sympathetic, but also frustrated. "Your sister? That's what this is about, isn't it?"

Damn alcohol. It'll getcha every time, she thought as she quickly realized she'd revealed too much during their flirtatious encounter at the bar. She sighed in defeat as she debated on whether or not it was time to finally explain. There was nothing in the entire world that she hated more than opening up and sharing her story, particularly, this one. She hated the looks of pity and remorse that followed. But most of all, she hated the way it still impacted her. Nonetheless, she knew she had no choice but to be honest.

"My sister was a very powerful witch," she hesitantly began to explain. "Even as a young girl, we knew she was special. For whatever reason, she had strengths and abilities that the rest of us had never seen before. She had the ability to detect dark magic and prevent it from occurring in other witches. She could see danger before it happened and had the ability to stop anyone who threatened her or our family with just a single look." She paused, taking a deep breath.

"But she was also very kind and caring. She didn't believe in using magic for violence, only in preventing it. She was my best friend."

Caroline's face finally softened as she and Matt exchanged a sympathetic glance.

"When we were growing up, my mother was approached by someone," she continued on, "someone within our coven who claimed that Ellie had gotten too strong and that she imposed a threat to everyone around her, including us," Jessa began pacing slowly, glancing at the old bottles of alcohol on the shelves impassively, trying to avert her eyes from Matt and Caroline's. "When he told my mother that she was to be sacrificed for the '_greater good_' of the coven, we ran. They wanted Ellie's spirit to 'rejoin' the earth so that we could all benefit from her power – like our own magic wasn't good enough – like we needed hers to be stronger," she ranted, feeling enraged as the emotions threatened to take over her story. She paused before continuing. "We didn't get far. They easily tracked us down and, after killing my sister, they killed my mother for good measure – as if to prove a point against ever disobeying the coven."

Caroline's hand had reached her mouth in shock. Jessa continued to stare at the shelves of alcohol in avoidance. "But it worked out okay for me, I guess," she shrugged. "My mother's sister found out what had happened and was devastated. She took a huge risk upon herself and preformed a spell that made me untraceable, allowing me to escape. Sure, I ended up in the Boston Foster System and, yeah, I was officially cut off from accessing the Spirits, but with family like that, who needs 'em, right?" She sighed again, finally turning back to face them. "The Parker Coven is definitely not one to be messed with."

Matt met her eyes suddenly. "Wait, Parker? As in Liv and Luke Parker?"

Jessa nodded with a sad shrug. "They are my cousins. It's why I needed Stefan's help. I couldn't contact them myself, for fear of being discovered and killed by anyone who could still remember what had happened, and so I needed him to help me send them a message."

"So you _were_ using Stefan?" the annoyance in Caroline tone returning as she crossed her arms again. "I knew it."

"Stefan is my friend," she quickly countered. "I agreed to help him and I will, but if he had known the truth, it might have only put him in danger. I was trying to protect him, and now, I'm trying to help Liv and Luke. They've been manipulated and abused by that _same_ power their entire lives, and now, it's time for us to take it back. The _control_ of Spirit magic is gone now, but if we can find where all of that power is now harnessed, we can access it again; for good and not evil," she paused. "We might even be able to find the ones we've lost and rebuild the Other Side."

The sudden sound of movement caused them to all turn their heads to the corner of the storage room. Elena was waking up. She rotated her neck stiffly and squinted her eyes as they adjusted to the light before finally noticing everyone in the room. Jessa made her way over and knelt down in front of her, resting at the same spot Matt had been a few moments prior, and placed a reassuring hand on her knee.

"Are you ready to find Damon?"

* * *

**Bonnie's POV: **

'Was it possible to feel this tired? Shouldn't being dead feel a little more, I don't know, _freeing_?' She thought to herself as she stared at her reflection in the mirror; a reflection she hadn't seen in far too long due to her ghostly state. She could almost swear there were bags under her eyes.

When Lucy had reinstated the magic within the walls of the boarding house, a sort of good faith payment in lieu of their agreement, she'd also granted them the miraculous privilege of being able to indulge in a select few human amenities for a few days. Bonnie supposed it was her way of making up for the fact that the reestablishment of magic was of absolutely no use to them either way in their current state.

So now, even though they were still invisible to the rest of the world, and though it was only temporary until they'd said their peace with Elena and Jeremy, they'd been attempting to make the best of their current situation.

Damon had wasted no time in locating his every secret stash of hidden Bourbon throughout the house and, promptly thereafter, making sure his glass was full at all times. He'd claimed that, now that he had fair warning of his eminent death, it was only appropriate to not let a single drop go to waste. Meanwhile, she'd made use of her time by avoiding him at all costs.

The arguing and shouting had been expected; the rage and denial, anticipated. It was his _look_, however, that had been haunting her over the last few days. That look of pure hurt and betrayal, a look that burned through her as if she were a traitor and a liar.

She sighed as she combed her fingers through her hair, continuing to examine her reflection in the mirror that resided in Stefan's eerily, deserted bedroom.

While being the Anchor had certainly taken it's toll – what with that whole feeling the pain of _every_ supernatural creature who passed through her thing – it had been nothing compared to these last six months of watching over and longing for Jeremy. She missed him – more than she could possibly even express. It was why, she supposed, she'd done her best to just grieve in silence. She hadn't wanted to burden Damon with her pain when she knew he was equally struggling and, just like always, she'd wanted to be strong – if not for him then for herself.

'I died, Jer. I died the day before graduation and the rest of this has been a gift and I choose to be thankful that I didn't waste a second of it.'

Her last words to Jeremy had been replaying in her head since the moment she'd hung up on him. She _had_ died. She had died _twice_ now. She'd been lucky to have even had the time with him that she'd had. She should be feeling thankful, not bitter. Being remorseful, and choosing to live out the rest of her existence in grief and sadness, felt as if she were being ungrateful and, ultimately, detrimental to the memories she had of him; memories she now cherished.

But still, she couldn't help it. She missed him.

As a tear slowly fell down her cheek, she quickly brushed it away with the back of her sleeve as she tried to tell herself that it didn't matter now. This was her new reality and she needed to accept it.

The problem, however, was that unlike the night of the Masquerade Party, she just couldn't bring herself to trust Lucy again. Granted, she could understand completely where Lucy was coming from about the preservation of their ancestor's magic, and yeah, _Grams_ had trusted her - but still, something in her gut told her to be careful. If Lucy was being completely honest and open, then why had she waited so long to reveal everything? Not to mention that the whole 'channeling every single dead witch' thing, seemed to be a bit shady. No witch needed that much power – and in addition – no witch could possibly _control_ that much power. Not without difficulty anyway. She'd proven so when she'd been manipulated into accessing Expression.

She hadn't voiced these concerns to Damon yet. Actually, she'd said very little between his 'How could you do that?'s and the 'You didn't even try!'s and his unwavering new accusations that she'd been planning this the entire time. And of course, she thought, he had a right to be angry. She'd be angry too. She _was_ angry. Being manipulated by the Spirits was something she hadn't missed while being the Anchor, and she certainly wasn't ready to go back to that in this new realm. But the difference this time, verses her time as an earthly witch, was that she had learned a few tricks. She knew better than to say too much out loud, or to allow herself to even so much as think too many defiant thoughts. But, it didn't mean she didn't have a plan. It was why; after all, she had insisted that they needed a few days to gather their thoughts before she and Damon said their goodbyes.

Finally, pulling her thoughts together and preparing herself for the upcoming confrontation, she emerged from the bedroom and made her way downstairs and towards the parlor where she knew Damon would be.

The fireplace burned brightly as he stood in front of it, his back to her as he leaned against the mantle with his left arm, his drink in his other hand, obviously lost deep in thought.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked nervously.

"There's nothing to talk about," he fired uninterested, not turning to face her.

"I don't want to fight," she said calmly. "I just need you to hear me out."

"What's to hear? You sold me out to your loony, psychotic cousin over the chance to create a new, happy witchy paradise." He finally turned around to face her. "And here I thought we had bonded," he smirked sarcastically as he raised his glass to her.

She frowned. "You know if there was anything I could do, I would," she began. "But you know I don't have any powers anymore. If she wants you gone, then there's nothing I can do. The least we can do is give Elena and Jeremy the chance to come home again and start over." Avoiding her eye contact, he sat on the couch and took a sip from his glass. "And what about your brother?" She continued. "Doesn't he deserve to get to come back here? To have a life?" she insinuated around the boarding house.

Damon didn't respond, but his brows furrowed in frustration at knowing she had a small point.

"Besides," she said softly, "you knew this was inevitable. You knew we couldn't stay like this forever. The dead are supposed to stay dead. There was never going to be a way to come back from this."

In a flash Damon was standing and marching towards her. "Are you kidding me right now?" he spat, his face inches from hers as he glared at her. She took a step back in shock. "You are Bonnie. Fucking. Bennett! I have watched you do the impossible again and again! I've watched you outwit Klaus and Katherine and, hell I'll admit it, even me! You, Bonnie Bennett, are the same witch that brought Jeremy back to life. You, _Bonnie Bennett_, are the same witch that brought down the Other Side, and overpowered an immortal witch! You, Bonnie Bennett," he said slowing down and softening his tone, "are the most powerful witch I have ever seen. And now," he paused as he backed away from her, throwing his hands up in frustration, "you're giving up."

She felt tears forming behind her eyes as she began breathing again – she hadn't even realized she'd been holding her breath until now. She watched as he turned to again face the fireplace as she struggled to stay calm, but the shock and hurt of his words were quickly replaced by anger.

"How dare you!" She demanded, trying not to cry. He quickly turned back around. "I have _always_ put everyone else's life before my own. I wouldn't be in this mess to begin with if I hadn't! Despite the warnings from Grams and the Spirits, and despite my own better judgment, I have always helped you! Whether you've needed to open a tomb, or whether you've needed me to send ghosts away or bring them back, whether you've needed me to save Jeremy or Elena or Stefan's life, or whether I've needed to save _your_ life – I've _always_," she trailed off as a tear fell, "_always_, helped you."

Damon watched her, his expression quickly softening, obviously feeling guilty from his rant.

"I'm not giving up," she continued, trying to regain her composure. "I'm trying to let go."

Damon looked to the ground and then finished his drink before setting the glass down on the mantle. He slowly walked towards her again, this time, his expression much kinder. He slowly reached up and put both of his hands on her shoulders.

"Do you remember when we first met?" he said softly.

"I try to forget," she shrugged with a small, irritated laugh.

Damon smiled. "Remember when I told you that you were no Emily Bennett and that I didn't trust you?" She smiled softly, but did not respond. "Come on, you remember? You sent a book flying at me? Jack London, _Call of the Wild_? Ring any bells?"

She smiled and finally nodded in cooperation.

"I was wrong that day, okay?" he finally finished. "To not trust you. We _all_ owe you our lives," he paused, " _I_ owe you my life." He met her eyes sincerely. "And in case I haven't said it yet, I am and always will be, eternally grateful to you."

She could see the sincerity in his eyes and she knew he meant it. She nodded her head appreciatively.

"And for the record," he continued. "You are way, _way_ more badass than Emily Bennett. And far less creepy."

She couldn't help but smile. Coming from Damon that meant a lot. She suddenly felt herself wrapping her arms around his neck as she pulled him into a tight hug. He seemed slightly caught off guard, but within a few seconds, was returning the gesture.

"If only Elena could see this," Bonnie whispered. Damon let out a slight chuckle.

"When I say goodbye, I'll make sure to tell her what a royal pain in the ass you've been," he joked as she slowly pulled away. "Can't have her thinking we're actually becoming fri,"

"Shh," said Bonnie, suddenly interrupting as she quickly jumped away from him. "Did you hear that?"

Damon looked around cautiously, but didn't seem to have heard anything. "Heard what?"

It was a low humming noise. So low, she herself almost couldn't hear it – but it was slowly growing stronger. She turned and eyed the parlor suspiciously, trying to decipher its location.

It grew louder and louder, slowly becoming an incessant, ridiculously irritating buzzing noise. She looked back at him, but he shrugged his shoulders in confusion. How could he possibly not hear it? It was driving her crazy, almost to the point of wanting to cover her ears at the irritation.

"Bonnie, what's going on?" asked Damon, watching her confused as she made her way towards the entryway.

She didn't answer, but just continued to draw closer to where the sound appeared to be coming from. She stopped where the parlor steps met the entry hallway. Though there was nothing visually in front of her, she knew something was there. The hallway lights caught a small glare - a small wave of light as it bounced away from where the buzzing sound was being emitted. It was almost as if there was suddenly an invisible, humming wall that had miraculously appeared. She stared at it curiously, almost as if in a daze.

"Bonnie what the hell is happening?"

"Shh!" she snapped quickly. As she stared at it, she suddenly felt herself being drawn to touch it – almost as if powers beyond her control were forcing her to lift her hand and put it though it. Without even considering if it were something dangerous – or hell, some type of an electric fence - she felt herself touch it.

She let out a gasp at the shock. Though it wasn't electricity, it felt like an electric current was suddenly racing through her entire body. She felt someone's hand grab onto hers and hold it tightly, almost as if trying to pull her through the wall. Partially shocked, partially terrified, she quickly let go and pulled away.

She felt Damon rushing over to assist her as she stumbled back, feeling out of breath.

"Bonnie what the hell?" he repeated. "What was that?"

"Magic," she panted through a smile. "They're here. They're trying to find us."

Damon's mouth dropped slightly in shock. "What are you talking about? Who's 'they?'"

Bonnie suddenly stood fully upright as her expression quickly changed from excited, to fully solemn. She eyed Damon nervously. "Do you still trust me?"

He looked into her eyes for a few moments before nodding his head.

Bonnie quickly reached in to hug him again, this time much more tightly. She hoped and prayed with everything she had that she could do this. He had given her the faith she needed and, unknowingly, erased her own doubtfulness. "Promise me, that you'll take care of Jeremy and Elena," she whispered so softly, she wondered if he'd heard her.

He quickly pulled away as he reached to grab both of her forearms tightly. "What the hell are you talking about, Bonnie? What are you doing?"

Bonnie shook her head sadly at him, wishing she could explain. Before he had the chance to even speak another word, however, she began to chant. She hadn't spoken this spell in years, but she remembered it as clearly as she did the day Luka had taught it to her. The first round felt weak, but she continued on, repeating it over and over and over again, each time with more urgency and desperation. She vaguely heard Damon shout her name, but as she felt the sudden surge of power being reinstated within her veins, it became nothing but background noise. The power was growing stronger and stronger as she channeled Lucy, reclaiming what had been stolen from her. She'd been waiting for this moment. She'd had no idea when it would be happening – when their friends would find them or when she'd be able to draw from their natural use of magic – but it was enough, and it was all she needed to spark the start of something great; something powerful.

She opened her eyes as the spell completed. "Give me your hand," she said softly to Damon.

He remained where he was, defiantly, staring at her in confusion and frustration."It's time for you to go home, Damon," she said softly.

He quickly shook his head. "I'm not leaving without you. I can't do that to Elena. She can't be without you again. If I go, we go together."

It was probably the most selfless thing she'd ever heard him say. She let out a small, soft smile, but unfortunately did not have time to argue. "I only have a few minutes before Lucy takes her power back. You have to go _now_!"

"Dammit, Bonnie!" he shouted. "On the contrary to what you've been told, you do not always have to be the damn martyr! You deserve to go back. You're what Jeremy and Elena needs," he paused. "More than me. You go, I'll stay."

Bonnie smiled at his lack of understanding and shook her head. "Damon, you are by far the best thing that has ever happened to that girl," she said slowly as she reached down to take his hand in hers. "And yeah, maybe a few years ago I wouldn't have thought so," she shrugged playfully.

"There's definitely been a few bumps," he acknowledged.

"A _few_," she continued with a laugh. "But you've changed. I've _seen_ you change. So go be that person," her voice began to shake as tears crept in behind her eyes. "Go be the brother, and the friend, and the boyfriend, that they all need you to be; that I know you can be," she finished, barely above a whisper. "I can't come. You know I can't. I have to keep a foothold here and use the power to send you back. If I go, all that power will be gone. This whole world will be gone and, ultimately, so will we."

Damon swallowed thickly as he finally accepted her words. He slowly nodded his head before placing both of his hands on her shoulder. "We're going to come back for you, you hear me?" A tear fell down her cheek. "We're going to find a solution around Lucy, okay? You're going to see Jeremy and Elena again. You _always_ do because you are a fucking fighter Bonnie Bennett."

She tried to laugh but it came out more like a soft sob. She hugged him one more time, squeezing for dear life, again, praying that this would work. Before she had time for doubt, before he could say another word, before she could reconsider the consequences they would all inevitably face, she quickly took hold of his hand in her right as her left reconnected with the buzzing, magical wall. She felt the power of the Parker witches behind it as she took hold of whosever's hand lay on the opposite side. As their hands all connected, she felt such an overwhelming sense of power, she literally thought it might kill her. She closed her eyes and again began chanting a familiar spell – one that had been uttered by Qetsiyah not once, but twice.

It was working. She felt that same, familiarity of death and pain mixed with earth and humanity as she temporarily took on the roll as the anchor. In a moment, she felt Damon pass through her. The pain was excruciating and she couldn't help but scream at the sudden occurrence. It lasted only for a moment; only a brief, quick moment.

She didn't open her eyes until the room fell silent again. The buzzing wall was gone. The spell Jessa, Liv and Luke had been working on so tirelessly was completed. They'd found them, just like she'd always known they would.

She slowly and nervously, opened her eyes. The room was empty. Damon was gone.


	13. 1000 Times

**1000 Times  
**_Cause I would die to make you mine  
__Bleed me dry each and every time  
__I don't mind, no I don't mind  
__I would come back 1000 times_

* * *

**Elena's POV: **

The other major problem with hope?

The annoying ability it gives us to trust everyone and no one in equal measure. Hope by definition means to desire with the expectation of obtainment, so it's easy, therefore, to put our trust in anyone who make promises of it's delivery – even when we know we're giving them the ultimate power to let us down. It's difficult to wade and decipher through the lies and the bullshit as we attempt to uncover what's real and what's fake - difficult to know who's just telling us what we want to hear versus the actual truth.

But the problem is, hope serves to blind us with so much optimism that even when we know better, we still allow ourselves to trust anyone who dangles that shiny carrot in front of our eyes. Even though we certainly know by now that everyone has a hidden agenda; a sorta 'what's in it for me?' mentality; even though life has taught us to never invest so much hope into one, sole individual alone; that by doing so, you're definitively giving them all the power they need to completely crush and destroy you. But yet, we just can't help ourselves.

And tonight, Elena was giving that power to Jessa.

She had been pacing back and forth for what felt like hours. She was sure if she looked down, she'd see a new, freshly paved path imprinted on the ground. She'd been biting her nails and running a hand through her hair every five minutes, all-the-while avoiding the eye contact of Caroline and Stefan who occasionally glanced at her nervously. They had at least done her the favor of remaining silent, allowing her the opportunity to process everything that was finally happening.

On the orders of Jessa, the three of them had been banished up the road and away from the location Luke had been killed - the location the three witches were currently doing the spell. According to Jessa, she needed them to keep a look out and redirect any northbound traffic that came their way – Alaric, Matt and Jeremy were on the opposite end, watching for southbound – but when Elena had insisted that she would stay and had demandingly implored to be there the second Damon and Bonnie were resurrected, Jessa shot her a look full of daggers. Stefan seemed to catch the hint, and had forced Elena to give the witches some space. Elena had argued for a while, but in fear of Jessa changing her mind, had finally agreed. In addition to her trust issues resurfacing, she silently wondered if Jessa - like Stefan and Caroline - was terrified of what her reaction would be if the spell proved to be unsuccessful.

The sky was still filled with darkness and hazy stars, but there was a hint of light sneaking in over the edge of the horizon as dawn slowly approached. Forest and brush surrounded them as Stefan leaned against a nearby tree, his arms crossed, obviously lost in deep thought. Caroline stood silently and patiently as she watched the road through a clearing even though they hadn't heard anything or seen so much as a distant headlight all night.

A million thoughts were racing through Elena's head. What if this was it? What if tonight was finally the night that she would be reunited with Damon? What if tonight was finally her chance to tell him how much she loved him, how much he meant to her, and how being without him had, ultimately, been the most excruciatingly painful time in her life?

And Bonnie - she smiled as she thought of Bonnie. What if this was their chance to finally start over; a chance to really rebuild and restore their friendship? Though she hadn't expressed it to anyone, particularly Jeremy, the guilt of her and Bonnie's last few months together had been slowly eating away at her. She'd been so determined to bring her back the first time that she had never even paused to consider the repercussions being the anchor might have on her – on all of them. At the time, she just hadn't cared. She'd just wanted her best friend back and was willing to do whatever it took to make that happen.

Selfishness – that new characteristic she'd ultimately begun to associate with herself – was fueling her again tonight. She hated herself for it; hated the idea that she knew deep down that they would all inevitably face consequences for what they were about to do, but _again_, she just didn't care. Maybe that's just what happens when you've lost so many people – you're ability to care just runs out. You eventually reach a breaking point; a point when rational thinking becomes impractical and casual niceties become derisory; a point when the person you used to be is so far gone, you can hardly even recognize yourself in the mirror.

Eventually, somewhere along the way, everything becomes about what you are willing to do to survive – and part of _Elena's_ survival, she finally acknowledged, was having and _keeping_ the people in her life that she cared about – no matter the consequences.

At the thought, she paused her pacing and slowly looked up to face Stefan. He was still looking to the ground, his brows furrowed, still lost in thought.

"I'm sorry," she said finally as he suddenly looked up to face her. "For what happened to you and for yelling at you," she fidgeted her hands nervously as she thought of his death and of their quarrel a few moments ago over staying with Jessa. He nodded acceptingly, but didn't seem to know what to say, so she continued.

"And I just want you to know that, I would do this for you too - if we hadn't brought you back, I mean," she paused nervously. "I would be this way over losing any of you," Elena additionally acknowledged Caroline as she took her eyes away from the road to watched them.

"I want you to know that I would do whatever it took to bring you back, and I'm not sorry about that. I can't be. Losing people has changed me, and I hate that you've both been caught in the crossfire, but" she paused as she looked down at her hands again, avoiding their eyes, "I just want you to know that I would still be this hurt and irrationally crazy over losing any of you, and I can't help that, and I'm not sorry about it," she repeated. "But I am sorry that I've hurt you because of it."

Her rant felt like a jumbled mess of words and she had no idea if the message she'd been trying to send had come across clearly, but after a few moments, Caroline smiled weakly as she and Stefan exchanged a quick, empathetic glance. After a few moments Caroline was walking towards her and embracing her in a tight hug.

"I don't deserve to still have you as a friend," Elena sighed softly as she tightly returned the gesture.

"I know," laughed Caroline against her shoulder, "but you do, and I forgive you anyway."

As she slowly pulled away with a reassuring smile, Stefan stepped forward. He nodded thoughtfully and placed his hands in his pocket as he seemed to search for what he wanted to say.

"It's okay that you're not sorry. You shouldn't have to be," he said finally. "I think it's easy for the rest of the world to judge and condemn someone that loves or grieves to powerfully, but I think," he said slowly, pausing. "I think sometimes we owe it to ourselves to give into those feelings. It means that what you have, or _had_," he corrected quickly, "was real. And that's worth remembering - worth fighting for. And you shouldn't have to be sorry for that."

He paused as she silently wondered to what _depth_ he was admitting that she didn't have to be sorry, but decided not to ask.

"After all, as vampires, sometimes that's as close as we'll get to our humanity, right?"

She nodded slowly. "I'm glad you're back."

"Me too," he agreed with a small smile. "As much as I was dreading being back, I've gotta say, it's been surprisingly," he hesitated as he exchanged a quick look back at Caroline, "comforting."

"No," she corrected, shaking her head. "I mean I'm glad you're _back_. Seeing you laying there like that was," she swallowed as she remembered that gut wrenching moment back in their dorm, "one of the worst things that's ever happened to us."

Caroline approached the group again as she interlocked her arm with Stefan's and squeezed it tightly, resting her head on his shoulder. "So don't ever do it again, okay?"

He smiled at her and then back at Elena, but there was still sadness in his eyes. "I know I should be thankful to be back, and I am, " he quickly added, "but honestly, sometimes I hate myself for not staying behind – if I just wouldn't have grabbed onto Bonnie, I could have stayed and found Damon and made sure that he and Lexi made it back, but instead, I got to come back," he paused, "and they didn't."

Elena understood completely. It had, sadly, taken her months to replace the anger she felt towards Bonnie for forcing her to return without Damon, with grief over losing her too. She felt guilty just for relieving the thoughts.

"How can you think like that?" Caroline spoke up quickly, turning to face him. "Stefan, everything that we did was to bring you back. Everything _Damon_ did was for you. He wouldn't have wanted you to feel guilty and neither would Lexi. They _wanted_ to save you and we all knew the risks involved when we made the plan. Besides," she said softly, "Lexi prevented Marcos from returning and Damon helped save my mom. They died heroes."

It was the first time Elena had ever heard Caroline refer to Damon as anything other than someone she just merely tolerated; someone worth respecting. Elena smiled at her gratefully as their eyes met. Stefan nodded through the darkness, but she could tell it was just in an effort to reassure Caroline – not because his guilt had subsided any less. Again, Elena understood completely.

Ric had been saying the same words to her all summer, trying to comfort her with the fact that Damon had known what he was doing and that he had succeeded in bringing his brother back and saving the Sherriff, both noble causes worth dying for. He'd tried to assure her of how much Damon had loved her, as if that alone should be enough of a reason to accept that he was gone and find a way to move on. But it wasn't and most of the time, it only made it worse.

"Do you trust her?" Elena asked suddenly, wanting to change the subject back to why they were all here. "I mean, no offense, but it wouldn't be the first time a witch has screwed us over, and don't you find it a little weird that she didn't want any of us around when she did the spell? Not even you?"

"She's right," Caroline chimed in. "I mean, how well do we really know this girl? What if she was just using us to get Bonnie's Grimoire? God knows what kind of damage she could do with that thing."

Stefan crossed his arms again as he contemplated an answer. "I trust her," he softly assured. "I can't explain it. I just do."

Just as Elena was about to argue against his lack of concern and impaired reasoning, they suddenly heard screaming – almost as if someone was in terrible pain. It sounded like Liv.

In a flash, Elena's vampire speed had her back up the road to where they had previously left Luke, Liv and Jessa. Caroline and Stefan were right behind her.

"Don't let go! Don't break the connection!" shouted Jessa at Liv. They were all still in a trance, sitting on the ground with their eyes closed. Blood was running down Liv's nose, as Luke lay lifelessly between them.

"I can't!" shouted Liv back as she struggled to maintain her concentration. Her entire body was shaking. "There's too much power!"

Jessa began chanting louder, more forcefully, almost as if trying to make up for what Liv could not provide.

"What the hell is happening?" asked Caroline in terror as she watched them. No one answered her.

"_No, no, no_!" shouted Jessa suddenly in panic and anger.

Luke's eyes flashed open. He sat up quickly, gasping for air as he placed his hand on his heart, which seemed to have abruptly started beating again. He choked and coughed as he struggled to obtain breath as well as retain what was happening. He seemed very confused on where he was and whether or not he was once again back in the land of the living.

Liv quickly broke concentration and hugged him, tears flooding her eyes. Jessa sat motionless, almost as if in shock. It took her several moments to even open her eyes or to acknowledge everyone standing around her.

"What the hell is happening? What's with all the screaming?" Alaric had arrived. Matt and Jeremy were not far behind him.

Elena watched her anxiously, holding her breath as she waited for an answer - waited for anything.

"I found her," spoke Luke suddenly, still slightly breathless. "Or, someone. I couldn't tell, but there was so much power. It was like I was being to drawn to it."

"It was her," clarified Jessa. "It's just like we thought. She has the power of every dead witch on her side, except," she paused, as she seemed to be confused. "It was like she wasn't the one controlling it - it was like she had to have _us_ to do that."

Everyone gawked at her in confusion. Jessa didn't acknowledge them. She still seemed to be putting the pieces together in her own head of what had just happened.

"Who was there? Did you find Damon?" asked Elena rapidly. Her heart was beating out of her chest as her mind raced. Why wasn't he back? Where the hell was he?

Luke suddenly looked up at her, a look of sadness on his face, before turning to his sister. All three of them exchanged a nervous glance.

"We couldn't save Damon," said Jessa abruptly as she finally stood from the ground. "We were," she seemed to search for her next word, "intercepted."

Elena stared at her, her mouth dropping slightly, as she tried to understand what the hell she was talking about.

"Someone is controlling Bonnie's magic and they took it back from her before she could help us bring Damon back," said Jessa earnestly, looking disappointed. "I'm sorry, Elena. I really am, but," she paused as she struggled to say her next words, "Damon is gone."

Elena felt herself fiercely shaking her head in denial as she watched Jessa, searching for a sign that she was kidding or still plotting a counter spell. But when she finally looked down, away from her eyes, Elena felt her chest tighten and her stomach drop. She barely heard the disappointed sigh that came from Alaric or the gasp that came from Caroline or the kicking of the gravel from Stefan in frustrated anger as the tears began slowly streaming down her face once again.

"No," Elena whispered, continuing to shake her head. "You said you had a plan. You said you knew what to do," she stepped towards her, pointing at her. "We trusted you. You said that you could bring them back and we trusted you!"

Jessa took a step back, clearly looking as equally guilty as she did nervous.

"What about your sister, huh? What about everyone else? Are you just giving up? There's no way that they're gone - that it's just _over_! Damon is there and so is Bonnie! You found them! Now bring them back!"

"Elena," Jessa pleaded for her to understand. "There may still be others over there, but Damon is," her voice trailed off again. "Bonnie sent Damon through. She tried to send him back with Luke, but someone got to him before we could finish. Someone fought us. They didn't want him to come back and we couldn't override that power. Not without losing Luke too."

Elena again shook her head furiously as her hand reached up to grip ahold of her own hair. "No!" she shouted again. "No! This isn't happening. You said you could bring them back!"

"Damon's no longer in the protective barrier that was holding him and Bonnie," Jessa tried to explain; her words were beginning to shake slightly. "We tried, Elena. I'm so sorry. There's nothing else we can do."

"No!" shouted Elena. "There's always something! You're just not trying! You not trying hard enough! You just don't care! Try again!"

Jessa seemed at a loss for words, so instead just looked to Stefan as she shook her head sadly.

Elena's patience had run out. She suddenly felt herself lunging at Jessa, but before she could reach her, she felt the strong arms of Stefan wrapping around her waist, pulling her back. "No!" she shouted again, desperate to be set free. But the more she struggled, the weaker she felt as the sobs once again began radiating through her body. She felt herself sinking to the ground as Stefan continued to hold onto her. Her cries grew more intense as she leaned against him, finally turning in to face him as she rested her head against his chest as he attempted to squeeze her shoulders comfortingly. She felt one of his own tears fall towards her shoulder.

After a few moments, she felt Caroline kneel down next to them as she brushed her hand through Elena's hair before leaning in to hug them both. Even though Elena was wrapped tightly between the two of them, she couldn't remember a moment when she'd ever felt more alone.

This was it. That crash and burn moment she'd been dreading. That moment of upmost pain and despair, the moment when darkness wins out and all faith is finally lost. The moment of having to conclusively acknowledge that death truly is the end; that there is no more coming back from it.

And just like that, all of that wonderful, optimistic hope and recklessly irrational faith was gone - just like Damon. He was officially gone, and he wasn't coming back.

* * *

**Damon's POV: **

Fifteen steps. Just fifteen, measly fucking steps.

That was all that was currently separating him from the scene that was tragically unfolding in front of him. He was so close to her, and yet, an entire world away. He'd watched her fall apart before. He'd watched her grieve over losing friends and loved ones and he'd watched her miss _him_ – but this time was different. This time, he'd literally seen the hopefulness leave her eyes. This time, he knew, she was officially at a loss for what to do. She was officially giving up.

What the hell was happening? Bonnie had once again just sacrificed her own happiness for his, and yet, he was still here, away from where he needed to be - away from _her_. And now, he thought sadly, he was away from Bonnie as well. He couldn't help but smirk at the irony. Who knew that being separated from the companionship of Bonnie Bennett could be this fucking depressing?

He had no clue what went wrong or why they still couldn't see him. One minute he was standing in the boarding house with Bonnie, and the next, he was standing on an abandoned road outside of Mystic Falls – although it had taken him several minutes to regain consciousness. It had felt like the wind had been knocked out of him and someone had just been playing a ferocious game of tug-a-war with his arms. The only possible explanation was that the wonder twins had failed – just as he had suspected they would. He'd known they weren't powerful enough and he now felt irritation rising in his chest at Bonnie's incessant trust to believe otherwise.

But the thought of Bonnie also had his mind reeling. What was going to happen to her now? What would Lucy do to her for breaking their agreement and for retaking control of her magic? Dread and guilt had him pacing as he ran a hand worrisomely through his hair. The only thing worse than being stuck in _another_ supernatural realm, was the thought of being able to do absolutely nothing to help Bonnie. He couldn't even warn Elena. And now that he had surely pissed off Lucy to the extreme, there was no way in hell she'd ever give him another opportunity to communicate with her again.

As anger coursed through his veins, he suddenly felt his temper rising and attempting to get the best of him. He felt his hand form a tight fist and without thinking, forcefully punched the 55-mile per hour traffic sign that he'd found himself standing by during his pacing. He'd been expecting to feel nothing – after all, it certainly wasn't the first inanimate object he'd attempted to take his anger out on during the duration of his time as a ghost – but instead, he felt his fist painfully collide with the sign. He heard the sound of the sign cratering in where it had been hit and, possibly, even the sound of his knuckle cracking.

He quickly pulled his hand away and examined it. For a few seconds, it looked painfully bruised and bloody, but in the blink of an eye, had healed and was once again in it's previously, unbroken condition.

"Well I bet you're feeling pretty pleased with yourself," came a familiar, condescending voice behind him.

He did not respond as he continued to stare at his knuckle in shock. He had not only _felt_ his fist collide with the sign, but had also watched it heal– just like he'd always been able to do as a vampire. Was it possible? Or was she still just fucking with him? Maybe, like at the boarding house, he was still under her control of being able to only feel what she permitted him to feel.

"And here I thought I'd finally found paradise," he spat sarcastically, as he finally snapped out of the trance of what had just happened and turned to face her.

Lucy smirked as she stepped towards him. "You just couldn't take the deal, could you? You just had to go and make a mess of things. And here I was trying to help you prevent all of this," she turned and insinuated towards the scene of Elena. Ric and Caroline were now attempting to help lead her up the road that led out of Mystic Falls. Everyone was finally headed back.

"Oh cut the crap," he snapped back. "You and I both know you were never planning on helping us with anything that didn't suit your evil agenda. As soon as you had gotten rid of me, you'd have had no use in restoring the magic back in Mystic Falls, and just so we're clear, that's kind of the last thing I could care about anyway."

"See the problem, Damon, is that in addition to your inability to trust, you're too blind to see what's right in front of you," she paused as she turned again to watch the scene of them all walking away. They watched as Stefan put an arm around Elena and as she leaned her head against his shoulder, still sobbing. "Elena is going to be fine, with or without you. Yeah, she's upset now, but I have a feeling she'll move on and eventually, forget all about you."

Damon let out a small chuckle as he shook his head in annoyance. "If only I had a dime for every time some know-it-all witch said that to me," he quickly turned to face her. "Let's get something straight. You know _nothing_ about Elena and me and, if I had to guess, I'd say you know nothing about Bonnie either. Because you see, it didn't matter that you'd taken her magic. She _still_ outwitted you, and you know why? Because she's smarter and _stronger_ than you could ever hope to be. All the power of all the witches in the entire universe won't change that. You will always be second best to her. It's why the witches left _her_ the power to begin with," he slowly stepped towards her and looked down at her in loathing.

"But something tells me, you know that already. There were never instructions for you to take her power, were there?" He paused, feeling angry, as everything finally made sense. "You just felt threatened by the idea of her ever having any kind of power over you. It's just a matter of time until she figures that out for herself and takes it all back for good," he smirked as he took a step back from her.

Damon suddenly fell to the ground as the familiar waves of tremendous pain shot through his brain. He gasped in torment as his hand flew up to his temple, trying desperately to alleviate the agony.

"No, _you_ get something straight," spat Lucy as she towered over his writhing body. "Bonnie's ability to care and dwell on the happiness of _vampires_, is a weakness. It is a disgusting weakness that will be her proverbial downfall! I took over her magic for her own good. You see what kind of problems happen when she has power?" She knelt towards him, but did not cease the spell that was currently giving his brain a continuous aneurysm. "Thanks to her and her pathetic excuse for friends, dark magic has been let into our new realm. Bringing back the dead is a crime against nature, and now, impurities will always be there, thanks to you."

"Well then lucky for you, it looks like she failed," Damon groaned through gritted teeth as he fought to overcome the pain.

Lucy shook her head in annoyed frustration. Damon felt the pain finally cease as she stood and began pacing in front of him. He watched her in confusion and hatred as she seemed to be racking her brain for an idea.

"She didn't fail," she said slowly, not turning back to look at him.

Damon glared at her as he struggled to catch his breath and recover from the last few minutes of torturous pain.

"No one can ever truly be brought back from the dead though," she explained. "A piece of their soul will always remain on the other side – or in this case in Bonnie's new realm. It's what Emily tried to warn Bonnie about the first time, but she didn't listen. It's why your friend Jeremy could see ghosts."

Damon slowly stood to his feet as he tried to take in what she was saying. He was feeling more confused and angry by the second. "Are you blind? Bonnie didn't bring me back! If she had, I wouldn't be standing here having this ridiculously worthless conversation with you!"

"Bonnie _did_ bring you back, you insatiable moron!" spat Lucy seething, as she quickly turned to face him again. "I just got to you before they did – hid you with an invisibility spell. They can't know you're back. At least not yet."

Damon's jaw dropped slightly. He couldn't even believe what he was hearing. Rage was again racing through his veins. He was going to strangle her. He was going to rip her limb from limb and tear her apart piece by piece. He was going to free Bonnie from her malicious control, and then he was going to find Elena and reclaim everything that he'd lost.

She must have seen it coming though, for in the microscopic second that Damon attempted to lunge at her, he was sent flying backwards by several yards. He landed with a loud thud and what was surely the sound of a rib cracking. He groaned in pain as he slowly rolled onto his back and attempted to re-stand; attempted to re-challenge her. He was determined to take her down.

"Will you relax," she said bored and impatiently. "I have a plan."

"Great," he groaned sarcastically. "Can't wait to hear it."

"The way I see it, I have two choices," she began to pace again. "I can kill you and finally send you off to hell where you belong," she smirked as he grimaced at her. "But sadly, that wouldn't solve the problem of our tainted realm, and unfortunately, thanks to Bonnie, it might only send you back there – not quite sure how that one works yet," she rambled on.

Damon watched her as he still attempted to formulate a plan of attack.

"_Or_," she continued, "I can use you to help me locate the realm of the Parker Coven – someone on _this_ side has to have access. They wouldn't have left it to just anyone…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Damon interrupted, annoyed by her rambling.

She stopped. "Our Coven is not the only one who took measures to preserve their magic. Your brother's little friend Jessa is on the right track, the problem is, she just can't know that. We need to stop her. We need to get there first."

"Get where?" Damon sighed exasperated. He was so over Lucy's witch drama. If only he could get to her carotid artery….

"If I can find the Parker realm and if we can find the witch on _this_ side responsible for upholding it, we can start over. We can join forces – build an even bigger and more _powerful_ Coven. The Parker's and the Bennett's have always been notorious enemies – but now," she faltered, obviously getting lost in the idea of such power, "but now that the control of the spirits are gone, we could be unstoppable."

"Sooo," Damon drug out annoyed. "Having all the magic of Bonnie's ancestors isn't good enough for you? You want all the power of Jessa's too?"

She turned to glare at him. "Don't blame me. You're the one that couldn't take the deal that I offered. If you would have just gone quietly, our realm wouldn't be tainted and our magic wouldn't be impure. So now, you're going to help me. You're going to help me track down the holder of the Parker magic or your little friends are going to suffer. Not to mention what might happen to Bonnie. You wouldn't want that now would you?"

"You can't hurt Bonnie," he countered with a smirk. "She's the only thing holding up the realm. If she's gone, so is your magic."

"True," she acknowledged. "But that doesn't mean I can't make her time over there extremely unpleasant. It'd be such a shame if she had to watch something tragic happen to Jeremy or Elena - especially now that there's not even a place for them to pass over to. They'd just be," she smiled maliciously, "gone."

Damon felt himself lunging at her again, but she was once again prepared. A protective, invisible shield now separated them. Despite his best efforts, he could not reach her. In agitation and anger, he banged his fist on the veiled wall, desperate to inflict on her as much pain as possible.

"You're going to help me, Damon," she said calmly. "And you know why?" He slowly attempted to calm down as he backed away from the wall – anger still coursing through his veins. "It's the only way you'll ever see Elena again."

He paused, attempting to take a moment to reflect on what other option he had. "Fine," he agreed. "I find you this witch and you let me go. You'll leave all of us alone. Go off and have you're infinite power, but leave us out of it - Elena, my brother, her friends – all of us. We want nothing to do with it and nothing to do with you."

He attempted to mask his lie – attempted to suppress any indication in his tone that hinted his real plan to find Elena and formulate a way to take down Lucy and find Bonnie.

"Such a lovely concept. Being able to return to your loved ones and start over, don't you think?" She tilted her head slightly as she seemed to change the direction of their conversation. Her smile gleamed with malice.

"What are you talking about?"

"Memories are precious, Damon. It's just unfortunate that not all of them can be kept. But just remember through all of this," she whispered, "that I tried to help you. I am _not_ the bad guy here."

There was silence as he tried to read her tone and attempted to uncover what she wasn't telling him.

"You're not to speak of what you know or what you're up to, do you understand? Not to anyone! Just use that good old fashion, seductive charm of yours. I'm sure Jessa and Liv will be spilling all of their dirty, family secrets in no time. Just find me the witch, and then maybe, I'll help you with your little," she trailed off as she smiled at him, "Elena problem."

"What Elena prob,"?

But before he could finish, she had disappeared. He looked around confused, searching for where she had gone, but the only thing surrounding him was the abandoned road and early morning sunlight.

What the hell did she mean, 'memories are precious?' He tried to think hard - quickly repeating every word of their conversation, recalling his time with Bonnie, rapidly playing back his memories of the last hundred and seventy years; his memories of Elena. Every memory was there. Every last one of them. If she hadn't erased his memories then what had she done?

As he felt the warmth of the sunlight suddenly illuminate his face, he looked down at his hand. His ring was still there, perfectly in tact - just as it had been the night of his death. Everything felt the same; _normal_ even.

He felt his heart beginning to race rapidly as he felt a new sense of excitement slowly replacing his anger. He was back and he was _alive_.

Bonnie really had succeeded and for that, he owed her everything. He didn't care what it took. He would find a way to bring her back. He couldn't help but smirk at Lucy's idiocy. Even _he_ knew it was always better to kill your enemies than to let them go free. He'd find a way to overpower her. He always did. And this time would be no different, because this time, he would have Elena by his side.

At the thought of her, he found himself speeding forward. It had been far too long and he couldn't stand the thought of being away from her for even another second.

He was back. He was alive. He was a vampire.

Lucy's threats meant absolutely nothing to him. After all, what could possibly be worse than death?

* * *

**A/N:** I know, I know. I'm leaving you with another cliffhanger and, still, not a lot of answers. Sorry! But I promise, you'll have another chapter soon and hopefully things will begin to make a little more sense.

Also, do you remember back in chapter 7 when I asked (possibly pleaded) for you to have patience with me and this story? Well, I may have to ask that again. Just remember that we still have ninety-four painfully long days until the season six premiere, so I'm just trying to keep things fun and interesting until then :) BUT as a small spoiler alert, I'll just say that - just as the TVD writers have said that season 6 will be a fresh, restart for our characters - I'm about to begin a fresh restart in this story.

Thanks again for all of your reviews! They seriously mean the world to me and keep me motivated to keep writing. I greatly appreciate anyone who takes the time to read, share or favorite this story – so thank you! And if you have any comments or suggestions, I'm always open to feedback as well.

Thanks again! See you next week :)


	14. The Enemy

**A/N: **Wahoo! New chapter! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and a very happy 4th of July!

This chapter is kind of long and actually contains the POV of _four_ of our favorite characters. Sorry, I just had so much fun writing it that I couldn't stop :)

Also, I have to admit that I was very nervous to post this chapter because of it's sudden change in tone and direction, but I hope you will bear with me and know that I do have a plan and a reason as to why :) - so, please, please review and let me know what you think!

Finally, make sure to check out Andrew Belle's _The Enemy_ – a song that I discovered thanks to the wonderful Chris Mollere, and a song that I'd almost bet we'll be hearing on TVDS6 ;)

Thank you so much!

* * *

**The Enemy**

_My heart gets lost like a message_

_My head is on the clouds_

_And I don't get it_

_And so I'm fashionably numb_

_Sometimes it helps to forget where we come from_

* * *

**Elena's POV:**

'_Dear Diary,_

_Wow. Even just writing that feels surreal. I actually can't remember the last time I've written in a journal. It's probably been at least a year, wouldn't you say? Not that you would know, I guess. You're brand new, unfamiliar and, no offense, inanimate. _

_I suppose I just haven't had much to say lately – not since the fire, anyway. But Ric says he thinks it's time we finally all start trying to return to normal - whatever that means - and so I guess, this is normal._

_It's funny though. I never thought that things could ever possibly feel ordinary again – not after losing my parents and then Jenna – but surprisingly, life has had other ideas. I guess it's true what they say. Time really does heal all things. _

_It's been nice to have Ric. I honestly don't know what Jeremy and I would have done without him – I genuinely thought he'd bail after losing Jenna, but thankfully, he chose to stick around. He even insisted that we all move into the new house he rented just off of the Whitmore campus – he swore it's location had nothing to do with me; that it was just his way of demonstrating to the universe his faith in eventually becoming a professor at the college - but I'm not so sure. I think he's secretly been terrified to leave me alone ever since the whole fire… accident. _

_BUT, I'm excited to tell you that he does have his first interview this morning! I'm really, really rooting for him – I think he needs a bit of encouragement after everything Jeremy and I have put him through. Not to mention the reassurance that it will hopefully bring him in his ability to still function in society as a normal__… vampire. _

_Yeah, he's still having issues with that one. I think we all are. It's all still kind of surreal, honestly. It seems like just yesterday that we were all gathered around our kitchen table in Mystic Falls for Thanksgiving - laughing, joking and teasing Aunt Jenna for her inability to prepare something as simple as mashed potatoes without setting off the smoke alarm. _

_But that's barely a memory now - a memory that, in my moment of utter desperation and despair, I tried to erase by setting a blaze the entire house and watching it burn to the ground. _

_Oops. _

_Yeah, grief will do that to you sometimes. Not my best moment and certainly not something I'm particularly proud of looking back now. _

_So, needless to say, I think a fresh start here at Whitmore is exactly what Ric needs. _

_I hope he got more sleep than the full 30 minutes that I did. I suppose that's why I'm writing today – I just had to tell you about my dream. It's strange though - I can't even remember falling asleep to begin with. The last thing I remember was being at Matt's party, and then, waking in my bed from this terrible nightmare. _

_Well I guess it wasn't really a nightmare – it was more like watching a rapid, replaying of the last five years; kind of like watching a fast-forwarded movie of my life, only in vivid detail. Yeah, you're right, I guess maybe it was a bit of a nightmare. _

_Some images felt, well I guess if I had to choose a word, normal. Others felt distant. Almost as if they were too impossible to have believably been real - almost as if they were just a dream within my dream, and not something that I could have ever possibly, actually lived through. But I guess that's the problem with dreams. They tempt us into disputing our nightmares and embracing our fantasies. _

_But in this case everything was real. At least, that is what my fully conscious, wide-awake self tells me to believe. _

_My parents were killed when they drove off of Wickery Bridge. I was saved by Stefan Salvatore. We dated. We fell in love and we were epic – that is, until Jenna and I were killed by Klaus, well sort of. Thanks to Elijah's elixir, I was brought back to life, but Jenna… well you know how that ended. And as for Stefan and me, well, let's just say Klaus' hold on him was much stronger than mine. By the time Alaric and I had finally found him, his bloodlust was so unbelievably out of control, there was nothing left for us to do but to finally let each other go. It's always had me wondering how different our lives could have turned out if only he'd have had someone to help him learn to control it a century ago. But I guess we'll never know. _

_Thankfully though, we've all had Caroline. I don't know what any of us would have done without her. Just as she's helped Ric and I learn to adjust after the whole Esther fiasco, she's finally been able to help Stefan learn some self-control. With our lives finally being free of the Original Family, we've all attempted to try and regain a bit of normality in our lives. _

_Though, needless to say, college hasn't exactly been my strong suit. It's hard to find motivation when your life is as crazy as ours, plus after Vicki died of an overdose, I always felt my time was much better spent with Jeremy and Matt than on silly books and trivial tests. But now, in lieu of Ric's new found optimism, Matt's graduation from the Police Academy, Jeremy's perpetual insistence that he's going to be okay, and Caroline's tireless begging – I think it might finally be time to go back. _

_I think it's what my parents would have wanted. And, who knows? Maybe, this time around, things will be better. Maybe I'll major in something like Psychology or Medicine – maybe I'll go into Neuroscience. I've always found the power of the brain to be fascinating – especially with how easily it can be manipulated, or, I suppose, controlled. I think Bill Forbes was onto something there. _

_Well, I guess I should get downstairs and give Ric his pre-interview pep talk. Hopefully I'll have time to write again soon. I still have so many things running through my head after that dream – particularly, the dark shadows of a man with the most haunting blue eyes I've ever seen; a man I couldn't quite place, but who I could've sworn I've seen before. _

_But like I said, that's dreams for you. _

_We'll talk soon. _

_Xoxo_

_Elena'_

* * *

**Alaric's POV:**

He slammed his fist upon the infuriating object that was piercing the silence and disrupting his sleep. As he slowly opened his eyes, the bright red glowing numbers of 7:15am flashed across the face of his LED clock.

7:15am? How had that happened so fast? When had he even gone to bed? He honestly couldn't even remember coming home or falling asleep. Had he been drinking? That would be the most probable explanation…

Leave it to him to be hung over on such an important day.

At the sudden remembrance of just _how_ important today was - he slowly sat up. He took a moment to pause as he ran a hand worriedly across the rough stubble of his face before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. A shave was definitely overdue.

Even though he felt like he hadn't gotten more than 30 minutes of rest, the sleep that he _had_ gotten had felt deep – almost as if he were lost in another world entirely. Yesterday felt so far away that he couldn't even remember it. Literally. The last thing he could remember was stopping by the bar to check on Elena after receiving a worried call from Caroline. Everything was pretty much blank after that.

He was officially the definition of the world's worst roll model. Here he was trying to convince Jeremy and Elena that it was time to heal and move on from the deaths of their parents, Jenna and Vicki, and all the while he's off at the bar getting so inebriated that he couldn't even remember the night before. Worse, he couldn't even remember choosing to _stay_ at the bar and have a drink in the first place. If _he_ couldn't remember anything, who the hell had been looking out for Jeremy and Elena?

In fear of what had happened, he slowly felt himself standing and walking out into the hallway, not bothering to change from his flannel pajama pants or white cotton t-shirt. Just as he was about to knock on Elena's bedroom door, he heard the sound of dishes clanging from downstairs and what sounded like lighthearted chatter. He slowly made his way down the stairs and turned towards the kitchen.

"Morning!" Beamed a bright and cheery Elena. Both she and Jeremy were already dressed for the day. Elena's hair was pulled in a high ponytail with a turquoise blue scarf tied loosely around her neck; her gray Ugg boots pulled up over her jeans, matching her sweater. He'd almost forgotten that in addition to the brightly colored leaves, October had also brought with it a brisk new chill in the air.

Elena quickly turned away from where she was currently assisting Jeremy in preparing what looked like pancakes, to extend to him a hot cup of coffee.

He slowly took it from her but continued to eye them both suspiciously.

"What are you two," he attempted to ask.

"Breakfast," answered Elena. "You have a big day ahead of you."

"Although, I really don't understand why you don't just compel yourself the job. It would be a lot easier that way," chimed in Jeremy with a smirk. Elena playfully jabbed him with her elbow.

"We're trying to be normal, remember?" smiled Elena as she took a sip of her own coffee. "Besides, Ric doesn't need compulsion. He's gonna go in and totally rock this. Right, Ric?"

Ric remained frozen in the doorway, continuing to watch them in utter amazement and confusion. Perhaps he was still dreaming? Or maybe it was just a mirage due to his hellacious hangover.

"What the hell happened last night?" he finally asked.

Elena shrugged, looking slightly embarrassed. "Yeah, I think we all had a _little_ too much to drink last night. My head's still really foggy. I can't even remember how I got home."

"God, I'm so sorry Elena. I think I was on my way to pick you up and then," he sighed in frustration as he ran a hand through his hair. "God, I must have just stayed and had a drink… or two. Are you okay? Caroline was worried about you for some reason?"

Elena let out a small laugh. "Annndd Caroline is overly dramatic. I'm fine, Ric. Really. I'm glad you came. Besides, that's just what happens when something good finally happens to one of your oldest friends," she paused and smiled, "you celebrate!'

"Yeah, apparently a little too hard," said Jeremy rubbing his temple with one hand as he took two pancakes off the griddle.

"I'm sorry, Ric," said Elena sincerely as she leaned against the counter and took another sip of her coffee. "I know how important today is to you. We never should have stayed out so late, or been drinking so much. Then Caroline wouldn't have felt the need to call."

"Yeah well, it's not exactly like I've been the best roll model these last couple of months," Ric sighed as he finally made his way into the kitchen and sat at the table.

Elena tilted her head sadly. He could tell she wanted to counter his statement, but instead, changed the subject. "What time's your interview?"

"Nine," he replied.

"Well I'll still be in class, but I'll come find you afterwards. We'll have to go and celebrate!" She paused with a smirk, but then, looked slightly guilty. "But maybe just with coffee."

"Class?" he looked at her dumbfounded. "_You're_ going to class?"

Elena nodded coyly. "Psych 101 starts at 8. Besides, I have to if I'm ever going to survive midterms. I have, like, an entire semester to catch up on. But thankfully, Caroline takes really good notes."

Ric couldn't help but chuckle. "Did aliens come in and possess everyone in the middle of the night or something? What is happening?"

"Ha Ha," mocked Elena playfully as she sat her mug down and picked up her bag off the kitchen table. "But speaking of aliens," she said turning back towards her brother, "Jeremy, weren't you just saying something about your coffee date with Liv later?" she teased playfully.

"I told you we're just friends," Jeremy snapped as he sat a tall stack of fresh pancakes on the table and took a seat next to Ric.

"Mmhmm," smirked Elena unconvinced.

Jeremy tried to conceal his smile. "I'm serious. She and Jessa are still trying to help us find a way to restore the magic in Mystic Falls."

Ric let out a long sigh. "I know I probably shouldn't be saying this, but," he paused hesitantly as he took a sip of his coffee, "are we sure we _want_ the magic back? I mean, hasn't it been kind of nice to be away from that cursed little town for a while?"

Jeremy shrugged. "It's still our home," he paused to take a giant bite of pancakes. "Besides," he said through a mouthful before swallowing, "after that freak explosion at the Grill that killed off all of the Travelers, there's really not a reason to _not_ go back."

"Except that _this_ is our home now," responded Elena matter-of-factly. "Sorry Jer, but Ric is right. Honestly, Mystic Falls is nothing to me but a lot of really painful memories of death and loss. There's nothing for us to even return to anymore."

"And who's fault is that?" he tried to keep his tone playful, but couldn't seem to mask his annoyance.

Elena rolled her eyes in hurt and frustration. "Nice, Jer," she made her way towards the door as she prepared to leave.

"Look, I'm sorry," he quickly responded forcing her to stop and turn back to face him. "It's just that, I think we owe it to each other to get things back to normal. Isn't that what you wanted?" he asked turning to Ric. "For things to be normal again? Well, going home is normal. Me, Matt and Tyler can still go over there, but it's not the same without all of you. Besides, what about Caroline and Stefan? Don't they deserve to be able to return to their homes? It's the right thing to do and you know it."

Elena sighed in frustrated defeat as she exchanged a quick look with Ric. They both knew he was right. It was just that the thought of ever setting foot in the town that had claimed not only the lives of their loved ones, but also their own human lives as well, was slightly heart sickening.

"Fine. Just be careful, okay?" Elena asked worriedly. "Don't get your hopes up and please," she pleaded firmly, "don't be their test subject for any weird spells?"

Jeremy nodded with a smirk. She then turned to Ric. "And you," she pointed at him sternly, "stop with the self-doubting. Just because the history position in high school was cursed, doesn't mean that you're a bad teacher and it certainly doesn't mean that you don't deserve a second chance to prove how smart and badass you are. Whitmore will forever have to wonder how the hell they ever survived this long without the profound teachings of Professor Saltzman."

Just as she placed her hand on the doorknob and began to open the door, she quickly turned back around.

"And Jeremy's right. Just compel them if they don't," she grinned charmingly as Jeremy let out a laugh.

Alaric couldn't help but to smile and nod appreciatively. It was times like these that Elena reminded him so much of her mother – or at least, a version of her that he'd known once upon a time. Not that he would ever share these revelations with Elena. She was still pretty sensitive when it came to talking about Isobel.

As she opened the door and began to finally make her way out, she suddenly stopped in her tracks and jumped back as though startled.

There on the other side of the door was a man who seemed as if he'd been interrupted from attempting to knock. He looked slightly out of breath, but more from anxiety than from physical exertion. At the sight of Elena his eyes seemed to light up and relief seemed to wash over him.

"Elena," he said softly, almost as if mesmerized by her sudden appearance behind the door - almost as if her name had fallen off of his lips in utter desperation or a plea for her to understand him. In a swift moment, his hands were around Elena's face; his eyes glued intently on hers as his fingers gently brushed her cheek.

She tolerated the bizarre behavior for only a few seconds before quickly backing away - looking startled and completely confused.

Ric quickly stood and made his way over to the entryway, partially out of protection, partially out of nervous uncertainty.

The man looked hurt at Elena's sudden rejection and attempted to re-approach her, but Ric was quick to stand between them.

"Can we help you?" Ric asked suddenly, feeling slightly guilty for his bluntness, but frustrated by the stranger's lack of a proper introduction. The man arched his eyebrows as he slowly took a step back. He looked unquestionably hurt and confused.

Ric looked from Elena then back to the man, nervously waiting for some sort of an explanation as to why this stranger was on their doorstep so early in the morning. But Elena remained frozen, watching him nervously. She seemed to be contemplating whether or not she knew him or whether she should just feel frightened.

"Um, I just," he started then looked back to Elena. "Elena," he pleaded again. "I just needed to see you." He tried to take a step towards her again, but Ric had quickly stepped in to block his path. Ric turned back to look at Elena who was still dazedly staring at the stranger's face.

"Do you know him?" Ric asked confused. He then turned back to the man who was now running a hand through his messy dark hair. "Are you a friend from Whitmore?"

"You can't be serious," the man said slowly in disbelief as he kicked at the ground in frustration. He looked utterly pained by their inability to recognize him.

"Ric," he pleaded looking back at him. "It's me, Damon!" He then turned back to Elena looking more desperate. "Elena, I _need_ to talk to you. I had to see you. Please, just let me come in. I'll explain everything. You'll remember as soon as we talk. We have to hurry. Bonnie's in trouble!"

"I'm really sorry," said Elena genuinely, "but have we met before? Who's Bonnie?"

Damon's mouth dropped slightly as he eyed them both in shock, almost as if waiting for someone to suddenly say they were kidding; that they knew exactly who he was and what he was talking about. After a few moments of silence, however, he seemed to come to a painful conclusion.

For a moment, Ric couldn't help but wonder if they _did_ know him somehow and just couldn't place him, but then, quickly decided that was impossible. He then had to wonder if the man was just genuinely out of his mind.

"No," Damon whispered softly. "My mistake. I must have the wrong house."

Elena and Ric exchanged a suspicious and unconvinced glance. "But how'd you know my,"

"Wrong Elena," he quickly countered, sounding heartbroken and throwing his hands up in defeat. "Wrong, Ric." He then took a step away from the porch, keeping his eye on Elena for as long as possible, before finally turning and slowly walking away.

Ric's eyes kept moving from Elena and back to the stranger, still waiting for someone to suddenly explain to him what had just happened, but Elena never took her eyes off of him. She watched him until he had completely disappeared from sight.

"Elena?" he asked nervously. She didn't respond, still lost in her thoughts. "Elena?" he asked again, this time a little more harshly, finally pulling her from her daze.

"That was weird. Are you going to be okay? Maybe I should walk with you to class this morning; I'll go get dressed. Just wait a sec."

"No, no," she quickly argued, attempting to shake off whatever spell she seemed to be under. "I'll be fine. Really. It was just," she paused, trying to search for the words. "I felt like I _had_ seen him somewhere before. I just can't place how I know him."

Ric shrugged. "Maybe school?"

Elena nodded, though unconvinced. "Yeah, maybe." She again shook her head, trying to rid herself of the weird feeling she'd gotten in the pit of her stomach from seeing his face. "I'll see you after your interview, okay?" she smiled as she finally made her way out the door. "Good luck!" she called over her shoulder.

He watched her until she had turned the corner and disappeared from view. Though the sudden appearance of the stranger had caught him off guard, he too couldn't help but shake the feeling that he'd somehow seen him before - maybe even known him. It was why he hadn't argued with Elena when she had insisted on heading to campus alone. He couldn't explain how he knew it, but his gut instinct seemed to be insisting that the stranger would never hurt her. And, despite his odd behavior, he honestly couldn't help but feel genuinely sorry for him.

However, after a few moments he, like Elena, had to shrug it off. After all, he had more important things to worry about this morning - like picking out the perfect suit and reassuring both the Whitmore faculty and himself, that despite his shortcomings as a guardian to the Gilberts - he was, and still could be, a great history teacher.

* * *

**Caroline's POV:**

"Pssst!"

Stefan groaned in his sleep, but otherwise, remained motionless.

"Stefan," Caroline whispered again from across the dorm room. Still nothing. He was completely and utterly asleep, almost peaceful. She hated to wake him, but… not that much. "Stefan!" she whispered more forcefully, this time throwing the teddy bear that was lying on her bed at his head. He suddenly jumped up, looking slightly panicked and completely dazed. She couldn't help but giggle in embarrassment at the accidental force behind her throw.

"What the hell?" he groaned sleepily, rubbing a hand over his face in annoyance. Upon seeing no emergency and Caroline's playful laugh, his head once again fell back down on the pillow.

"Shhh," whispered Caroline, placing a finger to her lips as she moved over to sit on the edge of his bed. She was already dressed and ready for the day, her blonde hair perfectly curled and her school bag tossed carelessly over her shoulder. "I don't wanna wake Jessa." She quietly looked over her shoulder to acknowledge that Jessa was still sound asleep in the third bed.

"And you wanted to wake _me_, why?" groaned Stefan playfully, trying not to sound too annoyed.

"Because I needed to talk to you before I go to class. It's important," she said softly. Her worried expression must have shown with urgency, because he slowly sat up on his elbows, looking more awake and more inclined to listen.

"This is going to sound so crazy," she paused, searching for how she wanted to try and explain. "But I just had the craziest dream and I needed to ask you something."

He arched his eyebrow in confusion, but nodded his head in agreement to answer whatever she asked.

"I need you to tell me everything you remember about our lives over the last few years."

Stefan tilted his head. "Um, are you serious?"

Caroline nodded intensely. "Just humor me."

"Uh, okay. Like what? What do you want to know?"

"Just, everything," she pleaded more urgently, looking slightly shook-up.

"Are you okay? What's this about?"

"Please!" she demanded more impatiently.

"Okay, okay. Fine," he whispered, trying to keep the concern out of his voice. "Um, well, I met you in high school. It was after I saved Elena from the car crash that killed her parents. We dated for a while – you were dating Matt, remember?" He smiled, as he seemed to be thinking back on the events that surrounded that year. "Life was pretty good until Katherine showed up again, bringing Klaus to Mystic Falls – she killed you. Not such a great day," he chuckled. So did Caroline as she thought back to what had been, at the time, such a traumatic event.

"But then, I told you about that girl I met in 1864. Alexia – the one who attempted to teach me about self-control,"

"Which wasn't exactly your strong suit," Caroline quickly pointed out with a smirk.

Stefan nodded amused. "No, but thankfully it was yours."

She smiled appreciatively. "Whatever happened to her?"

Stefan shrugged. "I'm not sure. I only spent a few days with her. I never saw her again after I left Mystic Falls," Stefan paused, as he seemed to be processing his memories. "I tried to hold onto what she said about love and death and compassion, but I guess in the end," he said slowly, sadness seeping in, "I really didn't care about much other than blood. The ripper seemed to always win out."

"Until you met Elena?"

"Why are we doing this?" Stefan asked again, looking more confused. "I really don't want to talk about this stuff."

Caroline sighed in frustration. "It's just that when I woke up this morning, I felt like I was having some sort of a panic attack; like I couldn't remember anything about… anything," she whispered nervously as she stared off and out the window, recalling the disturbed feeling. "I know it sounds crazy, but for a minute, I was completely terrified that maybe something bad had happened or that, maybe I'd forgotten who I was, or that you had forgotten me. I don't know, it sounds crazy now," she smiled weakly and shook her head as she finally met his eyes again.

Stefan couldn't help but smile. He slowly pulled himself up to a sitting position and then began to gently rub her forearm reassuringly. "It was just a dream. Everything's fine. I'm here. You're here. We're all okay. Besides, how could I possibly forget the only person who's ever been able to _actually_ help me overcome all of that… guilt?"

She knew he was substituting the word for something nicer than bloodlust. After all, that had been what she'd really helped him overcome - what she was _still_ helping him overcome.

Caroline smiled, looking slightly pleased, but also slightly guilty for what she now wanted to ask. "Then why did you leave? I know you've explained before, but I just need to understand. I need you to tell me again. If you and," she looked back over her shoulder and with a huff continued, "_her_ are going to be staying here, then I need to know. Why did you come back?"

Stefan frowned as his forehead resumed its normal brooding. "Look," he said slowly, "I tried for a long time to be the person Elena needed me to be. I tried with everything I had to be there for her and for this town, to protect her and to be the person I'd always wanted to be, but," he sighed, thinking back, "after Klaus and then everything with Silas and the Travellers, I just needed a break from it all, you know? After Elena became a vampire, I just knew – I think we both did – that things just weren't ever going to be the same. She had Ric and Jeremy and Matt," he paused as he slowly looked up at her, "and you. She didn't need me anymore."

Caroline frowned and shook her head, wanting to argue but he continued.

"I left because I needed to clear my head. After the Travelers took over Mystic Falls, there was really nothing left for me there. And as for why I came back, well, that should be obvious."

Caroline rolled her eyes. "I know she said she would help you restore the magic, but I honestly just don't understand how you can trust her. I mean, she's probably some hobo whose going to rob me the second I leave this room and, of course, she latched onto you. I mean, why wouldn't she? She saw the perfect opportunity to take adva,"

"I was going to say that I missed you," smiled Stefan, attempting not to laugh as he interrupted her ramblings.

Caroline cheeks reddened slightly as she finally met his eyes with a smile.

"The only time in my life I can ever remember feeling in control, and not wanting to kill dozens of people is when I'm around you. You're my sober sponsor, remember?"

She felt his hand brush hers. For a moment, she had the slightest urge to take it; to squeeze it and reassure him that she wasn't going anywhere and that she would always be there to help him, but instead, the buzzing sound of her cellphone brought her back to reality.

She quickly looked down and read the message. "Shoot," she whispered softly, "I have to go. Class starts in five minutes. Elena is saving me a seat."

Stefan nodded, but continued to look slightly concerned over their conversation. "What time do you get out? Meet me for coffee at the college bar later?"

Caroline stood from the bed and quickly made her way towards the door. Before she reached it, she turned back around with a smile. "Yeah. Definitely. Just text me later?" He smiled and nodded before letting his head finally fall back towards the pillow.

As she rushed to class, not even the annoyingly lost freshman or the frosty, cool October air, could erase the grin that had spread across her face.

* * *

**Damon's POV:**

This couldn't be happening. What in the hell had she done? This was absolutely, fucking impossible. Not even Lucy was this evil and manipulative.

Who was he kidding? Of course she was.

Damon ran a hand through his hair and then kicked a nearby trashcan in anger, sending it flying down the hall as he paced up and down the empty first-floor corridor. He hated this building. He'd only been here a few times – whether it be to find Elena, or to be tied up and tortured by her – it didn't matter. He absolutely, fucking hated this building that had once served as her temporary home – a home that had only served to take her away from him.

He wasn't even sure how he'd found himself here. He only knew that the last fifteen minutes had been a blur of anger, hatred and pain.

Worse than the painful realization that Elena, Ric and even _Jeremy_ had no clue as to who he was – was the acknowledgement that they were actually _happy_.

_Happy_!

How was that possible? He'd just watched Elena fall apart and scream his name in painful desperation a mere few hours ago.

He swore to God he was going to destroy Lucy. He didn't care what it took.

Before he could even begin contemplating a plan to find her however, a flash of blonde hair ran past him and out the door.

He'd recognize that curly hair and on-a-mission sprint anywhere.

Caroline.

He quickly followed after her. Surely it was impossible for Lucy to have altered _everyone's_ memories? And yea, Caroline wasn't exactly his biggest fan, but even she wouldn't be able to deny helping him when it came down to saving Bonnie, right?

He followed her across the campus and into a tall building labeled by an outside plaque as 'The College of Social Sciences and Humanities.' She must have been running late because she couldn't even be bothered to wait for the elevator, and instead, used her vampire speed to race up the four flights of stairs. Though her rapid pace hid her from normal eyes, it did nothing to prevent him from losing her.

She appeared to be arriving just in time, as the professor of the class was attempting to close the door. She quickly apologized as she made her way past him and inside - as did Damon who continued to follow close behind her. Caroline paused for a few seconds as she searched the towering classroom of about eighty students for her target. She seemed to spot it, as did Damon, when a young woman began waving at her frantically from approximately five rows up.

Caroline made her way up and took a seat at Elena's left-hand as she thanked her and apologized for being late. Damon, pushing past Caroline who seemed to have only just now noticed him, took the empty seat at Elena's right.

Both the girls suddenly stared at him. He gave them both a casual, flirty smirk and a wave as he attempted to read their faces. Their confused stares, however, only increased his impatience as it became more and more painfully obvious that neither of them recognized him and neither were going to acknowledge anything to the contrary.

"We'll continue this week with the discussion of Erikson's eight stages of psychosocial development. We left off last week with the discussion of Ego Identity vs. Role Confusion. The basic virtue in this stage being fidelity as it asks the ultimate question: Who Am I? And What Can I be?" The professor began, but Elena wasn't listening. She quickly turned and began whispering to Caroline.

She obviously had no idea he was a vampire.

"That man," she whispered softly, "he was at my house the morning."

Caroline pulled away looking shocked. She tried to subtly glance at Damon, but their eyes met instead. She quickly looked away. Looking nervous, and trying to avoid any unwanted attention from the professor, she quickly began to write something on her notepad – something Damon couldn't read. Elena glanced down to read it and then nodded her head in agreement.

Damon couldn't help conceal his agitation. The last thing he wanted to do was appear to be some kind of a stalker, but what else was he _supposed_ to do? He couldn't just stay away from her…

Or maybe…. '_Maybe_,' he sighed sadly at the thought. Maybe that was exactly what he should do. After all, if her conversation with Ric and Jeremy this morning was any indication, she was _finally_ happy. She was finally moving on, going back to school and trying to rebuild her life. All the things he'd always wanted for her…except… now he wasn't apart of it.

The three of them remained silent for the remainder of the lecture, but every so often, he could feel Elena trying to subtly catch a glance of him. On her third attempt, he couldn't help himself - he just had to look over at her. Their eyes locked – just as they had this morning. She was beautiful and perfect, just as she always had been. He wanted nothing more than to take hold of her free hand that was lying casually across her desk, just begging to be held, but instead, he refrained.

No. Instead, he just held her gaze, wanting to keep her chocolate brown eyes locked on his for as long as possible. He wanted to stay lost in this world they had momentarily created, a world where he could reach her soul, a world where her anxiety had been temporarily replaced with unbeknown trust and a deep understanding. An understanding that he truly hoped she could sense; an understanding that he loved her and that he would do absolutely anything for her.

"And that wraps up this section on Human Emotion and Psychological Development. I'll expect you to have read chapter seven by next class and don't forget! We'll be reviewing for the midterm on Wednesday, which you will be taking a week from today!"

The interruption and dismissal of class by the professor had Elena finally tearing her gaze away from Damon. She seemed flustered as she quickly gathered her books and pens and shoved them in her bag. The three of them stood as they made their way back down the aisle, down the stairs, and towards the classroom door.

Caroline was whispering something about the unfairness of so much being covered on their first exam, but Elena wasn't listening. She kept glancing behind her to see if Damon was following behind them. He was.

"Sorry Care," said Elena sympathetically, "but can I meet you later? You mentioned something about coffee with Stefan? Maybe Ric and I can meet you there? It's just that I'm really behind in this class and I kinda wanna stay behind and talk with Dr. Adams about my grade."

Caroline stopped walking and turned to eye her suspiciously. "Since when have _you_ cared about your grade?" she smiled playfully.

Elena tilted her head in annoyance. "Since _you_ convinced me to come back to school, remember? Besides, I really do want to try this time." Caroline arched her eyebrow, still unconvinced. "Well, I really want to try being normal anyway. And part of being normal is facing my mistakes and working to make things right."

Caroline seemed to finally accept her statement as she nodded her head. "Fine, but just be careful," she seemed to be hinting to the stranger that was still lurking behind them. "And text me when you're done?"

"Of course," Elena nodded in agreement as she watched Caroline slowly begin to walk away.

"Blondie still doesn't trust me," Damon smirked as Elena suddenly turned around to face him, appearing startled. "Well at least _that much_ hasn't changed."

"What are you doing? _Who_ are you and how do you know my name? Are you even in this class?" Elena couldn't hide the nervousness behind the annoyance in her tone. He waited a few moments as the remaining students in the classroom dispersed.

"Would you believe me if I told you that we knew each other in another life?"

Elena glared at him and crossed her arms.

"Okay," he smiled playfully, "then what if I said a friend of yours sent me – a friend that currently needs _your_ help?"

"A friend?" she arched her eyebrows unconvinced. "What friend?"

"Well the _who_ isn't exactly important right now, but let's just say you were close."

"Close? But you can't tell me who it is?"

Damon paused as he thought of what to say. He didn't want to scare her or push her away, but he needed an _in_ to convince her. "Who made you that ring?"

Elena quickly looked down at the bright, lapis lazuli stone that was currently residing on the ring finger of her right hand. "_What_?"

"_Who_ made you that ring?" he asked again, more urgently.

She continued to stare at it as though searching for an answer that he knew she couldn't give. "I don't know. I've just always had it."

"Can I see it?"

"Well can I see yours?" she arched her eyebrow in satisfaction, knowing her discovery.

He smirked as he took a step towards her. "Touché."

"Well you obviously know about me and my friends, so either you're a psychotic stalker or you want something… so what do you want?"

He continued to smile as he looked down at her. "So you're saying I'm _not_ a psychotic stalker?" he tried to arch his eyebrow seductively, but she took a step back from him.

"No, I'm saying that I've been through enough to know when someone's lying to me…. and I don't think you are. You obviously need help with something. So… what is it?"

Damon couldn't help but feel a pang of hope at her words. "You're trusting me?"

Elena shook her head slightly, "No. But you looked pretty desperate this morning. Almost as if you'd lost someone," she paused as she looked down to the ground before meeting his eyes again. "I know what that's like, and, I want to help."

He wanted to hug her. He wanted to rush over, wrap his arms around her and crush his lips against hers. He wanted to pin her against the empty walls of this deserted classroom and reclaim everything he'd lost… but instead, he remained still and silent.

He finally nodded his head appreciatively. "I'm looking for a witch."

Elena pursed her lips together in confusion. "Okay," she shrugged with crossed arms again. "Who? And for what?"

"The witch that made your ring," he again pointed to her finger. "She's in trouble and she needs our help. I need to find another Parker or Bennett witch that can help me save her."

Elena's eyes ran from her finger then back to his face. "Well," she said hesitantly, "I don't know of any Bennett's, but I do know of a few Parkers. I'm actually meeting one of them at the bar later."

Damon's eyes never left hers. He held his breath, hoping her next words would be…

"Do you want to come?"

He nodded slowly, hoping to God he had heard her right. A few moments later, she was handing him her phone number and providing the details of the time and location of the bar – not that he needed the latter, but he remained silent.

As she was turning to leave, he watched as she tossed her bag over her shoulder and re-adjusted her scarf and sweater. Every movement, twist and turn made him ache for her. Just as she reached the door, he couldn't help it. He had to ask.

"Why are you trusting me?"

She smiled as she turned back around. "I already told you," she sighed. "You looked like you needed help."

"No," he said softly as he shortened the distance between them again. "That's not the real reason. I'm just a complete stranger, remember? One that stalked you, no less." He grinned playfully. "You had _no_ idea who I was this morning and now you're helping me find a witch so that I can help _another_ witch, whom you've never met. That's not just help," he paused as he drew nearer to her, watching her eyes again. "That's," he faltered, "something else."

She seemed shocked by his sudden declaration. He could hear her heart beginning to beat nervously as she attempted to avoid his piercing eye contact.

"I don't know," she finally admitted. "I can't explain it, okay? I just have this strange feeling… like… I've met you or that I know you somehow…"

Damon smiled in satisfaction as he finally backed away and averted his eyes. "Okay. Just curious."

She seemed to finally start breathing again as her nerves appeared to be calming down. With a quick nod and an encouraging smile, she resumed opening the door.

As he watched her walk away, all of his previous doubts and fears seemed to evaporate, as did any hesitation or uncertainty about whether or not to return to her life. He could not now, or _ever_, stay away from Elena Gilbert. She was the love of his life…. even if she couldn't remember it yet. He had won her heart before. He was certain he could do it again. No matter what it took.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry y'all! I just couldn't bring myself to turn Damon human or erase his memories – so I just did the opposite! Haha

Just to clarify, history has _NOT_ been re-written or altered. Our lovely characters have just been given false memories of how things have happened. And while Stefan does have a few memories of Lexi, I'm not sure she would have stuck around without the insistence of Damon so, for all intensive purposes, they did not stay friends throughout the century... Sorry!.. Luckily, it seems that there just might be a few loopholes for Damon to find.

I hope you're enjoying this story as much as I am! Thanks again to everyone who has followed, shared or reviewed so far. It means SO much! See you next week! :)


	15. Headlights

**Headlights  
**_You're steady as I come undone  
__You're quietly bound  
__But I'll keep my promises  
__I won't let you down_

* * *

**Tyler's POV:**

With each sounding beat of AC/DC that blared through his headphones, he felt his adrenaline surge a little faster and his fist collide a little harder with the Everlast punching bag. He felt the sweat beginning to drip from his brow, but that only increased his desire to hit harder and faster. Elbows in, fists up, face behind the gloves, left leg slightly in front; hit after hit after hit. With all his weight placed in his right leg, counterbalancing his body, he continued to jab and strike the bag until he was completely lost in the high of the workout

He needed this. It was the only thing now days that could calm his anxiety and release his built up aggression. The punching bag had been Matt's idea, partially for his own training, but mainly so that Tyler had a target other than him and Jeremy to take his frustrations out on. It worked… most days.

The bag now hung in his father's old office – a room that had certainly seen it's fair share of conflicts and blows between friends. Just the remembrance of his father had him striking the bag harder, again and again, until he felt that familiar sting beginning to build behind his knuckles.

Last night's full moon still had him on edge.

Though he was no longer forced to turn because of it, the power and control it still held over him was evident. The familiar rush of panic and uncontrollable aggression still kept him feeling like a prisoner trapped within his own skin – a prisoner that was always one step away from death row… Because that's what retriggering the curse would be... a death sentence.

Or at least, that's what it would feel like.

Without the hope of controlling his transformations by becoming a hybrid again (the thought made him snort a laugh in anger as he hit the bag harder), it would be back to heavy chains, tie-downs and guzzling toxic wolfsbane in his family's old cellar once a month.

All because he'd had the terrible misfortune of being a Lockwood.

"Ty!"

The sound was barely noticeable through his headphones. He tried to ignore it – he needed just a few more hits.

"Tyler!" Suddenly Matt was on the other side of the bag, holding it steady and away from his reach.

Tyler finally put his fists down, and removed his gloves and ear buds, panting heavily.

"Damn dude, you're gonna break this thing," chuckled Matt.

He reached down and grabbed the bottle of water off the floor and drank rapidly, eyeing Matt in amusement.

"Look at you," he jabbed between gulps, as he examined Matt's new uniform, "all sheriff-y and official looking. Are you here to arrest me? Sorry, sir! I was totally provoked. It was self-defense, I swear!" He mocked playfully as he threw his hands up innocently and insinuated to the bag.

"Very funny," said Matt taking a step back. "And it's _officer_. I'm pretty sure Liz would rather die than ever give up being sheriff. Although, I don't know why she doesn't just take some time off. This town has been absolutely dead ever since the Travelers took away the magic." He sighed as he found his way over to the couch and took a seat. "I never thought I'd say this, but I kinda miss the vampires in this town. At least then, it was never boring."

"Hey, boring is good. Boring, I can live with."

Matt nodded in slight agreement before changing the subject. "Hey what happened to you last night? I looked for you at the party, but after we had that first shot, you kinda just disappeared."

Tyler frowned and shrugged. "I don't know man," he sighed. "I ended up bailing and heading back after about an hour. I guess I just wasn't really feeling it."

"You're kidding right?" Matt grinned. "The party was _your_ idea!"

"I know. It's just," he hesitated, as he leaned against his father's old desk, "I just started getting that really anxious and agitated feeling again. There was a moment when this," he swallowed, feeling the anger rise in his chest, "this _idiot_ bumped into me and spilt his beer all over me…. And all I could think about was how I just wanted to beat the living shit out of him and," he paused, "I just knew I had to get out of there. I couldn't risk it."

Matt seemed to understand. "It was a full moon last night."

Tyler nodded.

"Ty," he said reassuringly, "what happened with Sarah was an accident – an accident that was completely beyond your control, I might add. It's not going to happen again. You can't just keep living your life in fear that you're going to retrigger the curse," Matt frowned as he leaned forward from the couch. "That's not going to happen. I won't let it."

Tyler couldn't help but chuckle. "My hero," he mocked.

Matt smirked. "I'm serious. I was partially to blame last time,"

"No, Katherine comp,"

"And as your friend," he continued, ignoring the interruption, "housemate and local police officer – who would really hate to have to arrest you – I promise to help you work to control your weird," he motioned his hand in a circle insinuating to Tyler, "urge to kill people."

Tyler laughed and nodded appreciatively. "Thank man." He paused before changing the subject. "So how was the rest of your night? Please tell me you got the number of that hot girl I saw you chatting it up with at the bar?"

Matt smiled. "Her names Jessa, and honestly, I wish I knew."

"What do you mean?"

"Well it's weird. I remember talking to her and I think we were having a pretty good time and – hell we nearly even hooked up – but," he paused as he tried to think back, "that's sorta the last thing I remember. Caroline walked in all worried about Elena for some reason and then… I don't know. Nothing. I must have blacked out or something."

"_Blacked out_? You were about to hookup with a hot girl _in a_ _bar_ and you blacked out?" Tyler couldn't hide his amusement.

Matt frowned, looking slightly concerned. "Well I must have been fine at the time… Fine enough to drive because I made it home somehow."

"Yikes. That's not good."

"Right? I mean talk about what a great first day that woulda been… starting from _inside_ the jail cell instead," he ran a hand across his face and through his hair worrisomely. "I have no idea what I was thinking."

"Well hey, you made it, right? Everything's fine. Maybe from now on, we'll just have to tone down the drinking a bit." They both exchanged an amused glance and chuckled at the ridiculous idea. "Well anyway. This Jessa girl – are you seeing her again?"

Matt shrugged. "I don't know. In addition to me _not_ remembering to get her number… she's a witch. So I doubt she'll be visiting Mystic Falls anytime soon."

"Matt Donovan," Tyler chortled as he shook his head in acceptance, "you just can't keep away from the dark side, can you?"

"It does seem to always find me," he smirked with a shrug. "But in this case, maybe I'll have to be the one to go find her. How do you think that works, exactly? Would being in Mystic Falls hurt a witch or just prevent them from using magic?"

Tyler shrugged. "I have no idea. Might be best to _not_ find out. It's just a shame Bonnie's not here. I'm sure she could fix all of this," sighed Tyler sadly, insinuating to the town outside the window.

Matt looked at him perplexed. "Bonnie?"

Tyler nodded, not noticing his confusion. "Yeah. I mean, that girl had a spell for everything."

Matt continued to look puzzled. "Who's Bonn," but before he could finish, the portable, police radio that was currently attached to his belt buckle began to speak: "All units please report to 2016 Elm Street. We've received reports of a potential burglary."

Matt sighed as he quickly stood. "Well, duty calls I guess."

Tyler nodded, but continued to eye him suspiciously over his unfinished question. Matt reached his hand forward to high five and fist bump Tyler, which he mutually returned. "Be careful out there, _officer_," he teased.

With a smirk and a quick nod of appreciation, Matt turned, exited the office and made his way out the front door.

Though Matt seemed as normal as ever, Tyler couldn't help but feel slightly concerned. It wasn't like Matt to ever black out at a party – himself yes, Matt…never. Maybe the alcohol had really gotten to him. Had he blacked out so badly that he'd forgotten _Bonnie_? Maybe he was still drunk?

Tyler chuckled as he slipped his boxing gloves back on. 'Yeah. That's probably it.' Shaking it off, he then resumed his mission to destroy the punching bag.

* * *

**Damon's POV: **

He still had a few hours before he was scheduled to meet Elena, but that hadn't deterred him from making his way over to the bar anyway. It had been locked up tight, but that was hardly a problem with the quick snapping and twisting of the back door handle.

He made his way through the back storage room and towards the front. The narrow beams of sunlight streaming in from the second story window made visible the tiny specs of dust drifting lazily overhead, giving the bar a much drearier and musty vibe than he'd previously remembered. Slipping his hand behind the bar, while taking a seat on the empty barstool in front, he pulled from behind it a bottle of bourbon and an empty glass.

It would be easy to say his elongated trip to the Other Side had caused him to forget the amazing taste or the elated feeling the drink brought him every time he took a sip– but that would be a lie. He hadn't forgotten. With the exception of Elena, it had easily been his most missed addiction. Not that he liked to call it that… he _could_ quit if he wanted to. It wasn't like he was Stefan – on the verge of a breakdown or a cataclysmic murder binge if he did or _didn't_ have what he wanted. No… it was just that, in addition to it curving his cravings, it was the only thing he'd ever found, with the exception of flipping his switch, that could help him forget and numb his pain.

It was, and had always been, his escape. Whether from the pain caused by his father, Brother, Katherine, Enzo… even Elena – it had always been there from him, never failing, never disappointing.

The toxicity of his relationship with Elena was just downright pathetic at this point. If it wasn't her losing her free will, humanity or moral sense of right and wrong over _him_, it was _he_ committing vicious or self-defeating acts over every traumatic hit their relationship took. Even _if_ he could convince her to love him again – to really _trust_ him again – there was no guarantee that she'd ever get her real memories back…. And he wasn't sure if he could live like that…

He needed her to remember. He needed her to know everything they'd been through together – everything they'd faced, everything they'd survived. Without those memories… nothing would feel real. The last thing he wanted to do was to trick her or manipulate her into anything she wasn't sure of or really feeling. After all, they hadn't exactly had some big 'problem-solved, we're back together' conversation before his death.

It seemed like such an impossibly ancient notion: to believe they could now, or ever, have a _normal_, every-day, type of conversation about their future. And even if they _could_, what were they supposed to discuss? Their future trips to Disneyland? They weren't living in a fairytale and they certainly weren't on their way to a happily ever after. Not as long as werewolves, witches, hybrids, and mad scientists were all still running amuck, infiltrating their everyday lives.

And then of course, there was the newest fad of erasing memories.

He swore to God, if one more person put another false memory in his girlfriend's head, he would personally see to it that they never saw the light of day again. Thinking back to Stefan and Elena's visions had him devouring the rest of his glass and then quickly refilling it with more Bourbon.

"Have one of those for me, won't you?"

He couldn't help but jump slightly at the sudden interruption to his thoughts. It had been a long time since anyone had been able to sneak up on him. He knew the voice, but that didn't stop him from turning to his left to see the smiling face of Bonnie.

"Gladly," he said softly, turning and toasting his glass in her direction. "Although, I'm sure if you'd just hurry up and teleport yourself out of there, you could be having one for yourself."

Bonnie smiled weakly, but did not respond.

"What are you doing here? I've been freaking the fuck out thinking Lucy had surely killed you by now." He couldn't hide the concern in his voice as he rotated on the barstool towards her.

Bonnie smiled weakly. "She can't kill me. She wishes, maybe. But she can't."

Damon sighed, looking only slightly relieved. "How are you here?"

"You _died_, Damon. And then you were brought back to life. Just like Jeremy could see ghosts on the Other Side, you'll always be able to have a connection to this world as long as it exists," she paused. "And, I needed to see you."

His scowl quickly turned into a grin. "Aw, so does that mean you missed me already?" he smirked playfully. She couldn't help but smile. "Oh, come on. Admit it! You know you do. _I'd_ miss me," he jabbed as he took another sip from his glass.

"Well I certainly didn't miss your annoying arrogance," she smiled. "But, I'll admit…. It's been a little," her voice trailed off sadly, "quiet. Maybe even a little lonely."

Damon attempted to reach across and brush her forearm comfortingly, but instead, felt nothing. Her eyes seemed to fill with tears at the unfelt gesture.

"I'm not giving up, okay?" Damon spoke assuredly. "I just ran into a…slight snag."

"Elena's memories?"

Damon nodded before turning back to his glass and finishing it off. "Not exactly the welcome back reception I was expecting."

"I'm sorry, Damon," said Bonnie softly. He knew she meant it.

"So what's the catch?" he said with a smile, trying to erase the sadness from his tone. "You couldn't be here if there wasn't some sort of _message_. Tell Lucy to stop getting her witches hat in a bunch. I'm working on it."

Bonnie shook her head rapidly. "She doesn't know I'm here, Damon, and I don't have much time…. We need to talk."

He arched an eyebrow in concern. "Lucy's gonna kill you if she catches you here."

"She won't find out," she said placidly.

"And you're so sure, _how_?"

She continued to shake her head. "Don't worry about it. Just know that I've been practicing – a little everyday – channeling her… not enough for her to notice or feel anything, just enough for me to be here. She won't find out."

"So you have magic? Right _now_?" Damon looked over his shoulder nervously, watching for any sign that Lucy might suddenly appear and interrupt their meeting.

"She's in Richmond and a bit distracted at the moment. Don't worry about her."

"Are you kidding me? You're gonna get yourself killed…. again."

"_This_ is important, Damon" she said softly before suddenly closing her eyes. "Just don't freak out, okay?"

Damon eyed her curiously, waiting for her to either finish explaining or to begin chanting some sort of spell… but neither happened. Instead, however, something very unexpected ensued. His hand quickly reached up to his temple as a sharp, prickly feeling began to take over his skull. It wasn't exactly unpleasant, but it wasn't exactly enjoyable either – it was almost as if he were in the middle of an acupuncture session and his head was being stabbed with a million tiny needles, or possibly as if small waves of an electric current were suddenly racing through his brain.

"_Can you hear me?"_

Damon opened his eyes and looked over at Bonnie. She was watching him intently and without blinking, obviously still in the middle of some unspoken spell. He nodded slowly.

"What the hell?"

"_We can't talk out loud. Don't say anything. Just listen, okay?" _She asked pleadingly. Her words were echoing throughout his head, though they had not been spoken aloud.

He again nodded his head in agreement_. _

"_When I sent you back, I discovered something," _she said slowly. _"The witch that Lucy is having you look for? The one holding all the power of the Parker Coven?" _She looked nervous, fear evident in her eyes. Damon was almost tempted to stop her from continuing her next words. _"It's Liv,"_ she sighed, looking slightly relieved to have spilled the secret. _"I made the connection when we were all linked, but Damon, she's terrified and obviously being forced to keep it a secret for a reason, so you can't say anything!"_

Damon's jaw dropped slightly. "Wait, what? Why? I have to Bonnie! It's the only way for Elena to,"

"_Shhh!" _she said frustrated. "_Damon, we have no idea who Liv is channeling for that kind of power or what they're capable of – and most importantly, we can't let Lucy have it!" _

Attempting not to shout, he threw his hands up in exasperation. "What am I supposed to,"?

"_Liv is terrified," _Bonnie pleaded. "_She has more power than she knows what to do with and, now, thanks to Lucy's memory curse, she doesn't even remember how she got it! She has no idea how to control it, and if Lucy finds out, she'll kill her and take it for herself!_

"Bonnie," signed Damon in annoyance. "I know we've 'bonded' and all," he said with finger quotes, "but I think you've forgotten who you're talking to. I could _care less_ about the casualties involved here. I just need Elena and everyone else to have their memories back!"

Bonnie glared at him and he felt the stinging in his brain grow a little stronger. _"Do you have any idea what will happen if Lucy gains control over both Covens; over that much Spirit magic?"_

"Well, I guess I should assume by your tone that it will be bad?"

"_It would be catastrophic!" _she sighed, looking panicked. Damon could tell by her fear that maybe he should be at least a little concerned. _"Damon, you've seen what Lucy can do now with just the magic of my ancestors. Imagine what she'll do with twice that amount of power! She hates vampires, remember? You'll be lucky if you survive another five minutes once she gets it. Hell, I'll be lucky if I survive, once she has another realm to control. Trust me, Elena's memories will be the least of your problems."_

Damon let out a long sigh and a groan of frustration as he once again finished off another glass. "Do you have _any_ good news for me then, or can I just resume my endeavor to forget this incredibly horrific day?"

"_Actually I do," _she said with a sudden spark in her eye. Damon arched his eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. _"The memory curse Lucy placed on everyone is just that… a curse…. A curse that required the use of Spirit magic."_

She waiting for him to catch on, but when he still looked confused, she continued.

"_Mystic Falls has no magic. Anyone who was in Mystic Falls at the time she cast the curse wouldn't have been affected, and anyone who was affected and returns, will eventually regain their memories…" _

Damon turned to face her again, looking unimpressed. "Well small problem, Bon! As of now, none of us can go over there without dying, so unless you've got some magic fix or another 'new realm' up your sleeve, I suggest you think of something else."

She sighed and tilted her head in frustration, _"You're not understanding. Think about it! Tyler is there! And Matt just went back this morning, meaning his memories will eventually begin to start coming back – he's human, so his brain will heal – so to speak – a little slower than a vampires. But if you can convince Jeremy, Liv and Jessa to return to Mystic Falls, they'll all eventually get their memories back too – and then, you can warn Liv. We can help her, Damon…. And then, maybe she can help us. Maybe she can help Elena."_

Damon scrunched his brows in frustration. "Great," he sighed. "So basically… you're saying I'm going to have to team up with Donovan, Lockwolf, Van Helsing and some confused super-witch to get Elena's memories back? Exactly what part of this am I supposed to be excited about?"

She couldn't help but smile, even though he knew she wasn't that amused. _"I have a plan, okay? I just need you to get every non-vampire to Mystic Falls, and then, once they have their memories back, I need you to tell them to head towards the only place left in town that still has magic."_

He arched his eyebrow curiously as he thought for a second. "The boarding house."

She nodded. _"There' s magic there. Just convince them to get there as quickly as possible after their memories return and I'll take it from there."_

"Bonnie," he asked nervously, eyeing her suspiciously. "What are you up to?"

The mischievous yet deadly look in her eyes had him feeling nervous, yet excited. If Bonnie had a plan, he trusted her - he'd certainly learned better than to bet against her by now.

"_Just promise me, please? And please don't get too distracted with Elena. I know it's hard, but we're going to fix it, okay? I promise." _

He swallowed thickly as he watched her eyes grow nervous. She obviously feared what he'd already been fighting: the urge to fly off the handle at losing Elena… _again_. He was determined to fight it though; determined that his love for her would win out over his urge for revenge and blood lust against Lucy. Besides, if for no other reason, he owed Bonnie. Hugely. He was determined to trust her – even if it meant being kept in the dark on whatever it was she was planning.

He'd barely had time to nod in agreement, however, before the sound of someone unlocking and opening the front door of the bar had him quickly turning his head away from her.

By the time he turned back towards her, she was gone.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" came the disgruntled voice of Alaric behind him.

Damon smirked. "I'm pretty sure I could be asking you the same question. Bar doesn't open 'til two, you know."

"I have a key," retorted Alaric as he approached him. "What's your excuse?"

"Why do _you_ have a key?"

Alaric frowned. "I know the manager."

"Mm, I see. Great idea. I'd reap all the benefits of that relationship too," he smirked with a wink.

"It's not like that," Ric snapped, annoyed as he took a seat on the empty barstool where Bonnie had previously been residing.

"Never is," said Damon as he pulled another glass from behind the bar, filled it with Bourbon and slid it over to Ric.

He eyed him suspiciously. "What are you doing here? I should have had you arrested after the stunt you pulled this morning at our house. Who the hell are you and how do you know Elena?"

"Oh come on now, Ric," smirked Damon. "Calling the cops is so beneath you," he paused to refill his own glass with more Bourbon. "Besides, we both know that attempting to kill me would have been more your style."

"Still could."

"No you won't," he smirked arrogantly over his glass as he took a sip.

Ric glared at him in annoyance before finally taking the glass Damon had poured for him. "You're pretty confident for someone who has no idea who I am."

Damon tipped his glass to him. "What can I say? I'm a thrill seeker."

Ric watched him for a few seconds as if trying to determine if he really _did_ know who or _what_ he was. Deciding to overlook it for the time being, he slowly turned back to his drink. They both drank in silence for a few moments.

"So," said Damon finally. "Day drinking? Take it the interview didn't go well?"

Ric turned and glared at him.

"What?" shrugged Damon. "I hear things."

"Yeah by eavesdropping outside my house!"

"Well, maybe you shouldn't talk so loud. You never know who might be lurking outside."

Ric continued to glare at him for a few moments before finally shrugging and then turning back to his drink. "Actually," he said slowly. "It went really well… _great_ even. But," he sighed, "I think that's the problem."

"What? That they actually _want_ to hire you? Yeah I totally get it. I'd be pissed too," smirked Damon sarcastically.

"It's complicated, okay?" Ric frowned, obviously wanting to drop it.

"Complicated as in the idea of teaching history makes you want to die of boredom, or that there's a _slight_ chance you might eat your history students?"

He quickly turned to look at him.

"What? I told you. I hear things," he smirked.

"I think this conversation is over. You need to leave," said Ric, anger building in his voice.

"Oh relax," shrugged Damon, not even flinching at the threat. "Your secret's safe with me." He casually flashed his ring in Ric's direction and insinuating to the sunlight streaming inside before continuing. "I mean, just because we're _vampires_ doesn't mean we can't have normal lives and nine to five day jobs, right?" he smirked in a cynical tone. "Here," he said sincerely, refilling Ric's glass again with the remainder of the bottle. "Drink up. You obviously need it more than me."

Ric's look of annoyance and suspicion finally dissolved as he began to relax a little and took the drink again. "Thanks," he sighed.

"Besides, something tells me you're not the serial killer type."

Ric chuckled. "You'd be surprised," his voice quickly turned solemn. "I've certainly done some things I'm not proud of."

"Haven't we all," Damon tilted his glass to Ric. They sat in silence for a few moments again. "Well, Elena and Jeremy seem to be happy anyway. You must be doing something right at least," he tried to keep the disappointment from his tone.

"Yeah well, that hasn't exactly been a picnic either," Ric replied before suddenly turning back towards Damon. "You never answered my question. How do you know her…them… _us_, I guess?"

Damon smiled before extending his hand. "Name's Damon," he replied as Ric slowly shook his hand. "And let's just say, I have history with the Gilbert family."

"_History_?"

"It's been a very long, annoyingly painful road." Damon let out a long sigh as he tried to think of how best to explain. "But I can assure you," he said, finally finishing off the last of his drink and turning to Ric. "I am not a threat to you or Elena and if you believe nothing else, believe that."

Ric arched his eyebrow suspiciously, but before he had time to argue, the sound of the front door opening once again served as an interruption. Both of their heads turned to watch as Liv Parker, followed closely behind by Caroline, Stefan and then Elena, all made their way into the bar.

"If Sam would have known you'd be breaking in and turning the bar into your own personal playground, I'm sure she would've thought twice before giving you that key," smirked Liv. The sound of her boots clicking against the hardwood floor and the bouncing of her curly blonde hair as she marched determinedly towards them gave Damon an eerie feeling…. Or maybe, it was just because he now knew – even better than she did – of all the power she held at her fingertips.

"Sorry," Ric said rotating towards them. "I know I said I'd only use it for emergencies, but you weren't open yet, and I kinda, really needed a drink."

"Oh no," said Elena sadly as she followed in behind Liv. "What happened? How did it go?"

"He got the job," answered Damon for him with a smirk, turning towards her. Ric glared at him.

Elena's worried expression quickly transformed into an ecstatic smile. "_What?_ Ric, that's incredible! Congratulations!" she quickly threw her arms around him in relief and excitement.

"Yup," said Ric in a less than excited tone. "Can't wait."

Elena pulled away, looking concerned again. "Uh-oh. Not the reaction I was expecting. What's wrong?"

"He's afraid he's going to eat his students," whispered Damon behind the back of his hand as he reached behind the bar and pulled another bottle of Bourbon from behind it.

"Hey!" Liv suddenly slapped his hand away as she made her way behind the bar. He threw his hands up innocently as Ric continued to glare at him.

"Elena, Damon; Damon, Elena," Ric finally spoke in an annoyed tone as he insinuated from him to Elena.

Elena nodded slowly. "I know. We've met," she eyed him nervously. "Sort of." She then turned back to Ric. "Really, Ric? Come on. I though we talked about that? You wouldn't hurt anyone. I know you wouldn't. You need to trust yourself. You need this. You _have_ to take the job!"

"Yeah come on, Ric," chimed in Caroline. "If I can teach Stefan to survive on bunnies then I can surely help you not eat your class."

"Thanks," nodded Stefan sarcastically as he took a seat at an empty table a few feet away.

Caroline grinned at him before turning back to Ric. "Besides, we both know how bad Elena is at history. She needs someone like you to help give her A's."

"Caroline!" laughed Elena playfully, though her tone implied a hint of un-amusement. "Although, having you as my history professor next semester couldn't possibly hurt my GPA any worse than it already is now…" she trailed off with a pleading smile.

Ric smiled as he sighed in defeat. "Alright, fine. I'll take the job. But if I kill anyone, you're locking me up and throwing away the key _and_ my daylight ring, you got it? I couldn't handle it if I hurt someone."

"Yes!" Elena hissed as her hand formed a fist and playfully punched the sky. Damon couldn't help but smile as he watched her complete the motion with a little twirl before turning back towards Liv. "I think this calls for a celebration. We'll take two shots of," she trailed off as she looked back over her shoulder at Ric, looking slightly guilty, "two coffees."

Liv nodded as she made her way over and began to turn on the machine.

"Oh, what the hell... I've been drinking since noon anyway. What's one more, right?" smirked Ric at Elena. He looked back at Stefan and Caroline. "You guys want anything? I'm buying?"

They smiled as they exchanged a quick glance. Stefan seemed to be debating in his head, but then after a quick shrug and a grin from Caroline, he nodded. "Sure, why not?"

"Damon?" said Ric, suddenly turning back towards him.

Damon glanced at him, slightly shocked to have received the offer. "No, it's okay. I should probably get going. I wouldn't want to impose and I have a lot to do today anyway," he said standing slowly, thinking of the call he should probably be making to Matt or Tyler right about now.

"No, you should stay," smiled Elena, suddenly chiming in and facing him. Ric paid for a bottle of Scotch and then moved to sit at the table with Stefan and Caroline, leaving her and Damon alone at the bar. "It sounds like you helped him decide, and truthfully, he could use a friend," she hesitated before gently touching his forearm. "Sounds like you could too."

His eyes lingered on her hand that was casually resting on his arm before he slowly looked up to meet her eyes.

"It'll be fun," she smiled. "And, anyway I promised to introduce you to Liv - don't worry, she's nicer than she looks. Please?"

He wanted to say no. He knew he should decline as Bonnie's words: '_please don't get too distracted with Elena,_' began suddenly echoing in his head. He knew the only way to truly have her back was to begin by fixing this entire horrible mess – and that started with getting Jeremy, Matt and Tyler to help him lure the witches to Mystic Falls.

But he just couldn't help it. He was like a deer trapped in the headlights every time he looked into her eyes – those soft, pleadingly-beautiful brown eyes that had been his weakness for as long as he could remember. He slowly felt his hand reaching up to touch hers that was still lingering on the sleeve of his jacket.

And before he knew what was happening, he heard the sound of his voice saying, "okay."


	16. Bittersweet

**A/N: **Hello dear readers! I'm so SO sorry for the huge delay in updating. I can't even begin to explain how insanely crazy my life has been these past few weeks, but in an effort to make it up to you, I'm posting not one, but two new chapters along with the promise that chapter 18 is quickly on its way! I hope you will enjoy and **please, please, please** take the time to review. I lost a bit of my inspiration there for a minute so anything you can give to help keep it going is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for all your continued support! :)

* * *

**Bittersweet  
**_You always want what you're running from  
__And you know this is more than you can take  
__Baby don't forget my name when the morning breaks us_

* * *

**Jessa's POV:**

The trees, hills and tiny houses were a blur outside her window as she sped past them. The speedometer had officially hit the hundred miles per hour mark, but that did nothing to lessen the pressure of her foot off of the accelerator. Her heart was racing in panic and her thoughts were a jumbled mess as she zoomed in and around the traffic, easily passing each and every car that got in her way on the highway. The radio was blasting and the bass booming throughout the tiny Ford Focus, but it was ultimately a disregarded, messy background noise in comparison to the loud argument she was currently having inside her head.

She had to get out of here. Coming back with Stefan had been a mistake.

She hated that she was leaving without saying goodbye. Stefan had been one of the few friends she'd allowed herself to make since losing her family…but that had to be over now. She couldn't risk losing him or anyone else just because of her selfish inability to let go of her sister. The thought had her heart feeling like it was about to break, causing a painful constriction in her chest and an occasional tear to slide down her cheek. She quickly brushed them away.

She had no idea what had happened, or better yet, _how_ it had happened, but she knew that whoever had cast that kind of a curse must have had access to _a lot_ of power. And anyone with that much power who held the potential ability to recognize her, regardless of whether or not they were apart of the Parker Coven or not, was of no friend to her.

The fear and post-traumatic stress she'd once fought so hard to overcome, had suddenly come flooding back in with a vengeance. The thoughts of her past had her hands shaking, causing the wheel to sway slightly. She took a deep breath in an effort to steady herself and rid the images of her dead mother and sister from her mind.

Her thoughts quickly switched back to trying do decipher the puzzle.

Amnesia spells were easy – it was a simple task for a witch to completely erase and wipe away someone's every last memory - but to actually _replace_ their memories with false ones, and not just one person's, but an _entire_ town's? No, that was something else entirely. That was the work of someone trying to cover their tracks…someone not wanting to be found… _someone_ who was watching them and knew what they were up to.

Whoever it was probably hadn't counted on it not working on her though, and honestly, she had no idea why it hadn't. She only knew that someone now knew she was here and if they knew she was still looking for Ellie, they'd soon be coming after her...just like they'd done to her mother. Just like they'd done to Liv and Luke's. It was why she had to put as much distance between herself and Virginia as possible.

She'd explain to Stefan someday… she just hoped that on _that_ day he would actually know who she really was. Unfortunately, she just couldn't be the one to help him figure it out.

Her heart ached for him and Elena, but at the same time, she was slightly jealous. What a relief it must be to finally be free from all the pain that grief encompasses. It had been driving her for as long as she could remember. It had led her to make some of the most reckless and desperate decisions of her life, including, choosing to come back to a town filled with witches that had once completely ruined her life and still probably wanted her dead.

The sudden flashing of blue and red lights behind her quickly pulled her away from her thoughts.

"You've got to be kidding me!" she muttered under her breath as the police vehicle sped up to catch her. For a quick moment, she debated on whether or not she should try and outrun him, but knew that ultimately, drawing anymore unwanted attention to herself would be the worst thing she could possibly do right now. She finally took her foot off the accelerator and allowed the car to come to a slow and steady stop just a few feet away from a bridge and a sign that read 'Wickery Bridge."

She rolled down the driver's side window, but did not turn or attempt to watch the cop step out of his vehicle in her rearview mirror. Instead she just allowed her head to crash against the headrest in exhaustion and defeated frustration.

"Jessa?"

She suddenly turned to look up at the man standing outside of the car and was met with a familiar pair of blue eyes staring back at her.

"Matt?"

He chuckled slightly. "What the hell are you doing here? And why are you in such a hurry?"

"Well isn't it obvious?" she winked playfully, trying to mask her previous sadness. "I was looking for you, and look, it worked. Here you are."

She'd tried to replace the nervousness in her tone with flirtation, but he didn't seem to buy it and continued to eye her suspiciously.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded quickly. "Fine. I'm just… I just… I have to… I," she couldn't seem to form a complete thought, let alone a sentence as she tried to fight back tears.

"How about you step out of the car?"

She looked at him desperately. "Are you serious? You're going to arrest me? Matt, you can't do that! I have to get out of here!"

"Relax," he chuckled with a reassuring smile. "I just want to talk. You seem upset, and you probably shouldn't be driving if you're upset."

She took a deep breath and relaxed a little before slowly opening the car door and stepping out. Everything was so quiet in comparison to her previously blaring stereo. The road was eerily deserted and suddenly lacking in any oncoming traffic, possibly because she'd so rapidly passed everyone. She slowly closed her car door and leaned against it, all the while attempting to avoid his eye contact.

"If this is your way of getting out of a date, a simple text would have sufficed," he smiled.

She suddenly lifted her head to look at him. She couldn't help but smile. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "It's not you. I just have to get out of here before anyone else knows that I'm here."

Matt arched his eyebrow in confusion. "What are you talking about? Why?"

"Everything that happened last night… I made a mistake… I shouldn't have tried to contact Bonnie or bring Damon back," her hands and voice were slightly shaky. "I just wanted some answers, you know?"

"I'm really sorry, Jessa, but I,"

"I know. I know," she smiled weakly. "You were right. I should have listened. Contacting ghosts and messing with dark magic is never a good idea."

"No," he quickly interrupted. "I mean, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

Her eyebrows quickly arched in surprise and sudden understanding. "Wait, what? Then how do you remember who I am… what _do_ you remember?"

He gritted his teeth. "Well, I know that I probably owe you an apology. I guess I must have drank too much and blacked out. I can't even remember the last thing I said to you. Honestly, I didn't know if I'd ever even see you again. I'm really sorry."

She shook her head desperately. "No, Matt! Don't you see? The curse got to you too!" She quickly began to pace.

"Curse? What are you…?"

"Where are we? Are we in Mystic Falls right now?"

Matt eyed her suspiciously but then nodded his head towards the bridge behind them. "Yeah, just inside the town line."

She nodded. "I'm going to help you, but you have to promise me you'll help Stefan, okay? I can't stay. I'm really sorry."

He looked utterly bewildered as she suddenly reached into her car and pulled from it a bottle of water. She quickly poured a little onto her hands and then reached up and placed her fingertips on his temple.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked nervously, trying to pull away.

"I'm going to speed up the process," she replied, not loosening her grip.

"The process? What are you talking about?" he asked again.

"Shh," she hushed before closing her eyes and beginning the incantation. She could tell he was still debating on whether or not to trust her, but instead, remained frozen in place, watching her curiously. She took a step closer to him as she continued to chant.

Suddenly, Matt let out a gasp and a groan of pain as his eyes shut tightly and his hands lifted to where hers were resting on his temple. He tried to pull away, but the spell coursing through her fingertips kept him in place. He groaned in agony, but it did not deter her or lessen her grip. She continued to mutter the same spell on loop for several moments.

Finally, upon seeming content with its success, she released him.

He gasped desperately for breath as he quickly pulled away from her. His hands began to massage where her hands had previously left his temple.

"What the hell was that?" he seemed to suddenly be regaining his composure as he eyed her nervously. "What did you do?"

"That was me reinstating your true memories. They were taken from you last night. You're welcome," she shrugged in annoyance at his ungratefulness.

"My memories?" He paused to reflect on what had really happened last night. Suddenly, as if all at once, everything seemed to click. "Oh my God," he paused, his face looking desperate. "Elena…"

"I know," said Jessa sadly. "But Matt, she doesn't remember. None of them do. Not Stefan, Caroline, Ric," she sighed sadly, "no one."

"Well are they okay? I have to call Elena." He quickly reached for his phone in his back pocket, but Jessa quickly stopped him.

"Matt, someone was watching us last night. Someone knows we're still trying to discover what's happened to the Other Side and they obviously have their reasons for wanting us to back off. It's why I have to get out of here. I can't risk someone knowing that I'm back. And you can't tell anyone why either, okay? Besides, they won't believe you anyway."

"Wait," said Matt slowly putting his phone away. "I'm confused. How do you still remember everything? How do I? You can't just leave! If you know how to help everyone then you have to stay!"

"I don't Matt," she crossed her arms sadly. "We're back in Mystic Falls which means that Spirit magic can't reach here. You're human, which means you can return and the curse can't stay with you. I was able to use a small bit of natural magic to help your memories return quicker, but I can't do that for them. It's impossible without finding the person who cast the curse, and you understand why I can't do that."

"Well who _did_ cast it?" he asked, his tone rising from his growing impatience with her. "If you know, you have to say something! Was it Liv?"

She shook her head. "No, it couldn't have been. Liv doesn't remember anything either. Honestly, I think the only reason I can is because of the protection spell her mother placed on me ages ago. I wasn't even sure it still worked, but maybe, being back here has brought back some of its power – or maybe it was just because I was linked to Luke and Liv last night. I really don't know."

"Well what about them? Why wouldn't they have been protected? Surely their own mother would have helped them too?"

"That's the thing. I don't know," she argued in frustration.

"Or maybe it was whoever you connected with on the Other Side… you said you felt something, right? Didn't you say you'd made a connection with Bonnie? Maybe it was her!" He exclaimed hopefully.

"I don't know Matt!" she shouted, though not intentionally. "I don't know anything, okay? I don't know who all was over there or what happened. I just know that I felt a lot of power and then all of a sudden, the connection was disrupted. It was like we almost had Damon and then, we didn't. It was like I could almost talk to someone, and then, I just couldn't. And the next thing I know, everyone's waking up with no memories of anything. That's not a coincidence. Someone knows I'm here and if they find out I'm still alive and still looking for Elizabeth they're going to kill me, okay?" she couldn't fight the tears that were suddenly streaming from her eyes or the panic that was escalating in her voice as she rambled.

She quickly felt Matt's arms wrapping around her. It caught her off guard for a moment before she finally surrendered to the kind gesture and allowed herself to return the hug and cry on his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered against her ear as he gently stroked her hair. "We're going to figure something out. No one's going to hurt you."

She shook her head slowly before pulling away. She tried to smile at him weakly behind her tearstained eyes as she gently squeezed his hand. "The only thing left for me to do is to get out of here and to finally admit that it's time to let her go. I can't keep searching for the ghost of a family I never really had."

Matt sighed, as he seemed to understand her words all too well. "You can't just leave. I know you're scared, but we need your help," he pleaded.

She suddenly released his hand, wiped away her tears and took a step back towards her car. As she got inside and shut the door, she attempted to give him one last smile through the open window.

"You'll be okay, Matt," she nodded assuringly. "As long as there's no magic here, you'll be safe and I can live happy knowing that. And if you decide to help Stefan and Elena regain their memories, you're a good friend, but if you decide not to," she shrugged sadly, "well, I can understand that to. Either way, they're lucky to have you."

He nodded, unsure of what to say.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" she finished before starting the car and gradually pulling away. She watched him in her rearview mirror until he had completely disappeared from view. As one last tear fell, she tried to tell herself it wasn't because of the impending doubts.

No, she knew she was doing the right thing by letting him go and leaving Mystic Falls behind...she just wondered if she would eventually live to regret it for the rest of her life.


	17. I Feel Like That

**A/N: **I blame this chapter on JP and all of her gushy Delena soulmate talk at Comic-Con that gave me so many feels. Enjoy :)

* * *

**I Feel Like That  
**_I'm right back where I first stood  
__When I first knew  
__That I would always love you  
__And you know, I've never looked back_

* * *

**Elena's POV:**

He was devilishly handsome.

His gorgeous dark locks, dazzling smile and perfectly toned physique all had her swooning. With each and every glance he tossed her way, she felt her heart beginning to flutter a little faster and her knees growing a little weaker. His leather jacket and dark gray t-shirt emitted evidence of mystery and adventure, while the softness in his face besought depth and understanding.

But strangely enough, it wasn't just his smoldering good looks that were making her feel suddenly flustered and nervous. It wasn't the seductive allure in his voice or the every-so-often casual brushes of his hand against hers that had her feeling lightheaded. In fact, it wasn't even that he was impossibly charming and irresistibly charismatic as he seemed to carefully contemplate each and every syllable he spoke to her.

No. It was something else entirely.

It was those brilliantly shining blue orbs that seemed to stare at her as though she were something to be admired… something precious that he could absolutely never get enough of.

But, even more than the depth to which his eyes seemed to be able to pierce her soul, was the fact that she couldn't help but question as to whether or not she'd seen them before. They were so familiar it was almost painful to be unable to recognize them. And, if she were being perfectly honest, they were the only reason she hadn't been able to slam the door in his face this morning. She couldn't remember a time when she'd ever been looked at so intensely – as if she was wanted and so desperately _needed_. It was why, she supposed, despite how bizarre the situation had been, she'd been drawn to him after class…and why she was still being drawn to him now.

"Okay you have to be honest with me," she smiled as she playfully took the darts from him and moved to take her turn to shoot. "What _was_ that this morning? Or is that just the trick you use to seduce all of your women?"

"My what?" he chuckled over his glass of Bourbon as he watched her aim and then hit the green outer ring of the dartboard.

"Yeah, you know? Showing up at a girls house, staring deeply into her eyes and then walking away?" she teasingly mocked before suddenly turning to face where he was leaning against the table, grabbing ahold of his face and staring into his eyes dramatically before her giggles forced her to finally break character and release him.

"I mean it wasn't bad or anything, but next time you might want to be more careful. You never know when a protective Original vampire, slash parental figure, might snap you neck."

"Hmm, I'll try to remember that," he chuckled, looking over his shoulder at Ric who was sitting with Stefan and Caroline at another table a few feet behind them. "So does that mean I failed then? Were my seductive powers of persuasion just totally defective?" he said slyly as he took a step closer before stepping around her to retrieve the darts.

Elena picked up her drink and tried to hide her grin behind it. "Well, I'm still here aren't I?"

"And you're sure that has nothing to do with my sudden classroom invasion or bar break-in. I mean, creepy stalker guys are all the rage I hear," he smirked as he took his aim to shoot before hitting a perfect bull's-eye.

"Yeah," Elena nodded slowly. "You're right…. you _are_ kinda creepy. What am I even doing here?" she teased as she playfully took a few steps away from him. "I should probably go."

She felt him quickly and gently grab ahold of her arm, slowly pulling her back. "But if you leave now, who's going to finish this invigorating game of darts with me?" he pouted.

"You're beating me by like," she looked back over at the game, "what I'm sure would be a lot if I knew how to keep score of this stupid game," she laughed. "I think you'll be fine without me."

"That, my dear, is where you are totally wrong," he winked before releasing her. She tilted her head in amusement as he leaned against the table and took another sip of his drink. "And in answer to your question, it's complicated. There's not a whole lot I can say that won't totally freak you out, but I can assure you, there are no tricks."

She didn't want to be suspicious of him, for something in her heart was desperately telling her not to be, but she knew she'd be a fool to trust him so easily.

"Try me," she challenged as she took a seat at the table he was leaning against. "Tell me everything, starting with the witch you're trying to find, or I guess the one you're trying to save?" She paused, debating her next question. "Do you love her?"

Her question had him nearly spitting out his drink in amusement.

"What?" she smiled innocently. "Sorry, I mean you can't really blame me for asking, can you? You sounded pretty desperate to save her this morning."

"No," he finally replied, still chuckling. "It's just if you only knew the …" he trailed off. "Never mind. No. The answer to your question is no."

"But you _care_ about her? She's your friend?"

Damon nodded, still smiling. "Yes a surprisingly, very good friend. She's saved my life several times. I owe her."

"She sounds pretty great," nodded Elena.

"She is."

"So what about me then? How do I fit in? You said I knew her, or at least, that she made this?" She held up her ring.

"Where'd you get your daylight ring?

Elena tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, as she looked over at the other table. "Stefan gave it to me. It's a long story," she tried to avoid his eye contact in an effort to avoid further discussing the complications that were her ex.

Damon nodded, his eyes looking slightly concerned as he looked over at the other group. When he looked back at Elena, he seemed to be debating with himself as to how much more he should divulge.

"Well, my friend Bonnie, the witch that made your ring, is trapped in a supernatural realm and the only way for me to help her is through Liv."

"Why Liv?"

"Because Liv is a very powerful witch from a very powerful coven."

Her eyes grew curious. "What do you mean a 'supernatural realm'? Like another world? The Other Side is gone. We watched it disappear when the Travelers took over Mystic Falls and rid the town of magic."

He, again, seemed to be debating on what exactly he wanted to say. "There _is_ another realm out there," he said softly. "I've actually spent some time there."

Her eyes widened in slight disbelief. "Wait," she shook her head in confusion. "What?"

"I told you," he smiled with a shrug. "It's complicated."

She eyed him suspiciously, but before she could press further, he stood as he sat his now empty glass on the table. "I don't suppose I could convince you to go somewhere with me, could I?"

Her mouth was still slightly ajar from his last confession. She had no idea if every second spent with him was causing her to feel slightly more intrigued or terrified. Every question she asked led her to more questions and fewer answers. What did she really know about him? Hadn't she learned better by now than to foolishly trust someone so blindly and so quickly? But again, just as it had this morning, she felt her heart beginning to get the best of her. She had no idea how _not_ to be drawn to him. Her curiosity and fascination with the mysterious man standing before her had once again won out.

She felt her head finally begin to nod. "Okay."

* * *

**Caroline's POV:**

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what?" asked Caroline flatly in an unconcerned daze.

"Staring," Stefan chuckled as he took a sip of his scotch and watched her in amusement.

"I'm not staring. I'm observing," she huffed before finally tearing her eyes away from where Damon and Elena were engaged in a flirtatious game of darts.

"Yeah, it's kind of creepy," chimed in Ric.

She rolled her eyes before rotating her body back towards them. "It's not creepy! It's me trying to make sure my best friend - whom we all love and whom also happens to be in a very vulnerable state right now - is not getting taken advantage of by some smug, new-in-town, dark, handsome playboy."

"It's creepy," jabbed Stefan. He and Ric both let out a small laugh.

"Laugh it up, but when he turns out to be a serial killer, or worse, breaks her heart, don't say I didn't warn you."

Stefan's laughter finally eased off before he paused and tilted his head back towards her. "You think he's handsome?" he teased.

Caroline shrugged as she took a sip of her latte. "Yeah sure…if you're into arrogant bad boys with leather jackets and _lists_."

"Lists?" asked Stefan in amusement.

"Yeah, you know? The list of all the girls phone numbers he probably has in his pocket right now? He's probably keeping all those women on standby in case he doesn't get lucky with Elena tonight."

Ric arched his eyebrow and turned to glance back at Damon over his shoulder. "Oh, I don't know. I think Elena can handle herself. Besides, he seems harmless. A little… _lost_ maybe. But harmless."

"You got that in the five minutes you've known him?"

Ric shrugged. "No, but I trust Elena's judgment. And honestly, it's probably a good distraction for her. She needs someone new to fix that's not me or Jeremy."

"But you and Jeremy don't count. You're family. Fixing family problems is just part of the deal… but that doesn't mean she should have to fix loner-danger guys."

She suddenly felt Stefan's arm wrap around her and squeeze her shoulder reassuringly. "I think you need something stronger than that latte," he smiled as he scooted the mug away and waved over the waitress. "It's officially past five, which means it's happy hour, which means you don't have to feel guilty."

"But," she tried to argue.

"And if you fail your exam tomorrow, you can always compel yourself a re-do, or just a better grade. It's a win-win."

"You know you're sitting with a professor, right?" asked Ric over his drink.

"You don't start 'til next week and besides, you're one to talk…. compelling yourself the job and all," smirked Stefan.

"Shh!" spat Ric quickly, looking over his shoulder at Elena to make sure she hadn't been listening in. "I don't want her to know that."

"What's the big deal? She's not gonna care."

"Well she'll probably care that you lied to her," chimed Caroline judgingly before ordering a Vodka Cranberry from the approaching waitress. "I mean, she does think you got the job fair and square."

"Elena just wants Ric to be happy. This will make you happy, right?"

Ric shrugged with a slight nod.

"Well then there you go. Win-win," grinned Stefan.

Though she was shaking her head, Caroline couldn't help but smile at Stefan's newfound optimism. It was nice to see him like this. He hadn't been much for laughter and jokes since the disappearance of magic in Mystic Falls, but she was happy to see he was finally coming around.

Just as the waitress brought them all three another round of drinks, Elena approached the table with the new stranger.

"Perfect timing," spoke Caroline. "Have a seat Elena. We were just talking about your new friend here," she said crossly as she eyed Damon suspiciously. She felt Stefan gently squeeze her arm, urging her to be nice.

"Well actually, Damon and I were just thinking about taking a walk. We thought we might get some air for a bit," she insinuated towards the door.

"Absolutely not! We haven't even gotten to the tequila shots or a fun game of Truth!"

Elena's face scrunched up in confusion as she tilted her head. "You hate tequila. And Truth? As in Truth or Dare?"

"No, just Truth. It's like Truth or Dare only we, meaning I, get someone, meaning Damon, super drunk so he reveals all of his dirty secrets about what he's doing in this town and whether or not he's trying to take advantage of you."

All four of them stared at her in amusement and bewilderment at her bluntness.

"Um…wow, Care," said Elena, feeling slightly awkward. "Well, as fun as that sounds, I really think we're gonna get going."

"No, it's fine," spoke Damon suddenly, placing a reassuring hand on her lower back before taking a seat at the table with them. "I'd like nothing better than to get to know your friends. Next rounds on me." He quickly waved over the waitress and requested two more drinks for himself and Elena while also taking two shots off of the tray she carried.

Caroline couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or genuine, which only made her more distrustful.

"Okay then," smiled Elena uneasily before taking a seat next to Caroline and across from Damon.

"Okay then," smirked Stefan in amusement before lifting his glass up in a cheers motion. "To new friends, and an… interesting evening."

Damon nodded with a sly smile before lifting his glass in return. "To new friends."

* * *

**Damon's POV:**

Her laughter was infectious.

Every-so-often, she'd throw her head back in soft giggles, allowing the glow of the overhead lights to illuminate her face and add sparkling vibrancy to her eyes. With each story and joke shared among the table, her energy and spirit seemed to soar a little higher. Her nose would scrunch together cutely and her eyebrows would arch animatedly as she joined Caroline in reminiscing about past childhood memories and the telling of old high school tales.

He, on the other hand, was awkward and hopelessly boring - or at least, today he was - contributing little to nothing to the surrounding conversations. But he was content, nonetheless; perfectly happy to watch her…listen to her…and study her every movement as if his life depended on it. There were few things he'd found in his short eternity that fascinated him as much.

Sports? Movies? Outlandish reality shows? Forget about it. But watching Elena? No, _that_ he could do forever.

But the problem – the problem that had been his own unique setback for over a century now – was the burning rush of love and desire he still felt for the girl sitting across the table from him and the familiar pang of heartbreak at being able to say and do absolutely nothing about it. He was well acquainted with his internal struggle for silence and the resistance it took to hold his tongue… for he had finally come to understand that sometimes, too much truth could ruin a good thing. And for now, being alive, and being here in this moment with _her_… with his brother, his best friend, hell, _even_ Caroline… was a good thing. And even if they couldn't remember him, at least for now, it would do.

"Oh my God absolutely not. Remember last year's disaster? No, this year I think we should go to Kappa Sigma's costume party. It's supposed to be huge and it's bound to be better than Whitmore's dumb Historical Ball," smiled Elena over her seasonal Pumpkin Ale.

The conversation had obviously shifted gears into discussing Halloween plans. They'd all been drinking for hours now and the buzz of his bourbon was finally starting to catch up with him. A few dozen or so people had now begun shuffling their way in and around the bar as the coffee and study groups had slowly transitioned into the social, night crowd.

"Ugh," groaned Caroline disgustedly. "A frat party? _Really_? I mean come on, if I wanted to have cheap, toxic beer spilt all over my costume while some sweaty, Guido hits on me over really bad, really _loud_ music, I'd just go Jersey Shore."

Elena laughed and shook her head from side to side in frustration. "Oh but come on! That's part of the _normal_, college experience, right? Going to crazy frat parties? Besides, we've never been to one and I think we're well overdue," Elena smiled.

"Wait, _you've_ never been to a frat party?" Damon arched his eyebrow at Elena.

She shook her head and shrugged with a soft smile. "Why? Does that surprise you?"

Damon shrugged. "No," he said slowly, taking a sip from his glass, keeping his eyes on her. "No, I guess not…. I'm just surprised is all."

She blushed slightly, continuing to stare back at him.

"I think I'm with Caroline on this one," chimed in Stefan as he sat down his nearly empty pint glass. "If I'm being forced to dress up and attend yet _another_ theme party, the least you can do is promise me there will be good alcohol and a slight reduction in the number of idiots I'm tempted to kill."

"No one is killing anyone, and you know why?" smiled Caroline optimistically. "Because I refuse to let yet another fun holiday go by in which something dramatic or dangerous happens. We are going to have a nice, _normal_ Halloween and we are all going to dress up and we are all going to have a good time and be happy about it. No boy drama, no vampire drama."

Elena's eyes suddenly lit up. "Hey, I have an idea! What about if we have the party at our place?"

Ric slowly lowered his drink as he nearly choked on it. "Um, what?"

"Yeah! I mean, why not? We have the space and it's close to campus…it doesn't have to be huge. Just us and a few friends."

"Because a _few_ friends will probably turn into the entire sophomore class!" Ric argued.

"No, we'll keep it small. I promise! Right, Caroline?"

She smiled at Elena's sudden enthusiasm. "Absolutely! Elena, that's the best idea you've had all evening," she beamed before turning back to Ric. "I'll plan everything: the drinks, food, decorations, heck even the costumes! It'll be fabulous!"

"Um what about the fact that I officially _work_ for the college now? I can't be throwing parties for students!"

"Not 'til Monday you don't," jabbed Stefan again, much to Ric's annoyance. "Halloween's on Friday. Plenty of time to clean up the damage."

"And by clean up the damage you mean, compel them all to forget?"

"There will be no compelling," countered Caroline. "It will be a calm Halloween party amongst friends. I'll invite Matt, Tyler,"

"Wait, Tyler?" interrupted Stefan confused. "I thought you two were on the outs?"

Caroline shrugged. "He's attempting to be civil, and so am I. Maybe this could be our chance to hash some things out and be friends again."

Stefan arched his eyebrows but said nothing as he finished off the last of his beer.

"And what about you? Aren't you going to invite _Jessa_?" Caroline refuted at his sudden irritation.

"Probably. Why wouldn't I? I mean she _is_ staying with us."

"If by us you mean me, then yeah, I guess you're right. We should invite the new, dorm crashing witch girl."

"You should come too, Damon," spoke Elena suddenly, attempting to deter Stefan from arguing further with Caroline.

"Whoa, wait. You're all acting like I've already agreed to this, which I haven't! There's no way we can throw a party at the house, Elena! It's really not a good idea."

"Oh come on Ric," spoke Damon as he slapped him playfully on the shoulder. "A college party with costumes, alcohol and sorority girls? Sounds like fun. I'm in."

Caroline glared at him. "I know you're new to town and all, but you should know that keeping a low profile is kind of a priority to us and if you do anything to screw it up or bring unwanted attention to us, we'll have no choice but to kill you."

Damon couldn't help but chuckle in amusement at the ridiculous irony. It hadn't been too long ago that he'd once made the same threat to her. "Relax. I'm more of a…snatch, eat, erase kind of vampire," he winked at Elena.

"Well we're more blood bags and bunnies," she glared. "You can come, but just know that if so much as even _one_ person turns up missing or dies while you're there, you're screwed, ok? He can totally kick your ass," she insinuated towards Ric who shrugged innocuously.

"What my friend here is _trying_ to say," Elena glared at her before turning back to Damon, "is that it's just really important for us to not draw attention to ourselves here. Without being able to return to Mystic Falls, this is the only home we have left."

He nodded in appreciative understanding. "Trust me," he said softly as he met her eyes intensely. "You have nothing to worry about."

"Speaking of Mystic Falls," spoke Ric, desperate to change the conversation away from Caroline using him as a hit man. "Stefan, any word about the boarding house?"

Caroline and Elena both quickly looked at him. "Nothing," he replied in annoyance. "When I spoke with the realtor today, it was like she couldn't even remember _ever_ speaking to me. Seriously, it's like I've been working with a bunch of morons."

"Well maybe it's a sign you shouldn't be selling it," sighed Caroline sadly.

"Wait, what?" spoke up Damon suddenly. "You're selling the Boarding Hou…I mean, your house?"

Stefan looked at him curiously before continuing. "Well, I mean I can't really go back to it again. And honestly, it's full of nothing but a lot of painful memories that I really don't care to keep, so yeah, I guess so."

"Just remember, I said that once too, Stefan," smiled Elena weakly.

"That just sounds like a bad idea. A really, really, _really_, bad idea," Damon pleaded, hoping his urgency could outweigh the drunken slur of his words. "I mean, it's our…your home! You can't just get rid of it! Memories are important, right? Right Elena?" he suddenly looked to her for help. Though everyone was looking at him like he was crazy, she looked slightly more sympathetic.

She smiled and nodded as she eyed him suspiciously before turning back to Stefan. "Damon's right, Stef. I really think you'll regret it. Besides, Jeremy still hasn't given up hope on working with Liv to restore the magic, so you never know," she caught Damon's eye again, obviously remembering his words about Liv. "Maybe there's still something she can do."

"Wait where _is_ Jeremy?" asked Ric suddenly remembering. "Wasn't he supposed to meet Liv here earlier today?"

Elena looked around the bar. She quickly caught sight of Liv, who was busy working away at the front, but there was no sign of Jeremy anywhere.

"That's strange," she said nervously as she pulled out her phone to check it. "I haven't heard from him or seen him all day. I should probably call him," she said suddenly standing from the table. "I'll be right back."

Damon watched her push her way through the small crowd and out the door as she tried to escape the noise to make her phone call. When he turned back to the table, all three sets of eyes were upon him. Without Elena as the buffer, awkward silence quickly ensued and there was nothing he could do but nod uncomfortably.

"Well," sighed Damon slowly, as he too stood from the table. "I think I'm actually gonna take off, but it was great meeting you all." He quickly extended a hand and shook Stefan's. "Don't sell the house!" he demanded, only semi-jokingly, before reaching for Caroline's, who hesitantly took it before he brought it up to his lips and kissed it - more so to just annoy her than to be charming - and then shook Ric's. "I'll see you on Friday at that party," he smirked.

Before Ric could argue or Caroline could make any more threats, he followed Elena's lead and made his way out the door.

"No, I haven't talked to Matt today," came Elena's concerned voice from around the side corner of the bar. "Why?"

Damon did not make himself known, but just continued to guiltily eavesdrop on her phone conversation.

"That's so weird. Did she say why?" she paused. "Wow. Poor Matt. Well, I'm sure Liv will understand. Thanks for going to see him, Jer. You know I would if I could." Pause. "Okay, well call me when you make it, please? And make sure you're back by Friday. Caroline and I are throwing a Halloween party at Ric's. Make sure to tell him and Tyler too." He could hear the smile in her voice as she paused again before laughing. "Yeah, I know. But I think we finally talked him into it." Another pause. "Okay, well I'll talk to you soon, Jer." Silence. "Okay. You too. Bye."

In an attempt to appear as though he hadn't just been listening, he began to walk down the sidewalk adjacent to the front of the bar. He continued to walk until she suddenly appeared around the corner and bumped straight into him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she quickly apologized.

"Nope, totally my fault. I wasn't paying attention."

She nodded unsurely, but smiled nonetheless.

"Everything okay?" he insinuated to her phone.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. It's my friend… Matt. This girl he was kinda into just left town all of a sudden. Actually, she was one of Stefan's good friends too. I'm not exactly sure what to tell him."

"Hmmm, that's strange," he said sincerely. "Well, maybe she'll come back?"

"I don't think so. Jeremy had to bail on Liv because he's headed back to check on Matt. He said he sounded pretty… off when they talked earlier today."

"Well, I'm sure everything will be okay." He paused, feeling suddenly hopeful. "Wait, Jeremy's going to Mystic Falls?"

"Yeah," Elena nodded. "He's not supernatural or anything so it won't hurt him." She hesitated as she looked down at her phone in confusion. "I just don't understand why she would leave though," she sighed in frustration. "Maybe Caroline was right about her."

Damon couldn't help but chuckle. "Don't take this the wrong way," he said cautiously, "but your friend Caroline is a bit…intense." Elena let out a small laugh of acceptance. "And if I may say so?" He innocently threw his hands up. "I think you just might end up missing out on a lot of people and a hell of a lot of experiences if you always listen to the advice of everyone else, AKA Caroline," he smirked stepping closer towards her.

"She's just trying to look out for me," she smiled, perceptively changing the subject back to them.

"And all I'm saying is that you should trust yourself," he smirked. "First instinct is usually the right one," he winked.

She let out a small laugh. "Easier said than done."

He nodded, but did not argue.

She looked up at him with a smile, her eyes shinning as they caught the light of the overhead streetlamp. "Look, I know it's late," she began hesitantly, as she moved a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, "but would you still wanna go on that walk?"

He couldn't help but smile as he studied the nervousness in her expression. "Do you need to tell them where you're going? I wouldn't want Caroline to think I've kidnapped you."

She shrugged. "I'll text her. Besides, Ric will probably leave soon too. I think he's starting to feel weird around Caroline and Stefan," she smirked insinuatingly.

He arched his eyebrows and tilted his head. "Wow… Really?" he trailed off as he attempted to hide his shock before extending his arm for her to take hold of. "Didn't see that coming."

"Yeah it's kind of strange," she shrugged as they began to walk down the dimly lit street in sync. "But hey, if she's happy, I'm happy."

"Still… must be a little weird to see your ex and your bestie together."

"How'd you kn…,"

"Instinct," he winked, looking over at her.

"All right, all right, Mr. know-it-all" she jabbed playfully. "Then how about you tell me something about you. Fair is fair after all."

"Well technically, if we're playing that game, _you_ didn't tell me anything. I guessed. So… I think it's only fair that _you_ tell me something about _me_."

She looked at him in amusement. "Are you serious?"

"Yup. Instincts. Give it a try."

She stopped just as they reached the front of the elegant French restaurant on the corner and turned to face him. She giggled and tapped her finger to her mouth as she pretended to studiously examine him. "Hmmm," she began.

After a few moments, however, her expression slowly turned very serious. "I think you put up a wall," she said assuredly trying to mask the nervousness. "I think you've probably been hurt before and you don't trust easily…. which I understand. I mean, who does right? It's always easier to push people away than to keep them close…but, deep down," she said softly, more hesitantly, "I think passion excites you…. And love… love still drives you," she paused again, as Damon slowly lowered his gaze from her brown eyes to her lips, as she cautiously lessened the gap between them, "because, as vampires, it's one of the few things left we still have to be afraid of."

He slowly lifted his hand to caress her face as her lips drifted dangerously closer to his. "Not bad," he finally whispered against her lips.

He'd made himself a promise earlier in the day to avoid this kind of thing until she had all of her memories back… hell, he'd made a promise to Bonnie to avoid her completely until then, but… he just couldn't resist.

All of a sudden, his lips were pressed against hers. He wanted it to be soft and gentle, the way a 'first' kiss should be, but he'd already been without her for so long, it was almost impossible. She was like an intoxicating drug he'd never be able to get enough of; her lips like finally obtaining a high he never wanted to come down from. He could feel the rapid beating of her heart against his chest as he pulled her closer to him.

His thumb gently caressed her cheek as he slowly pulled away from her. Her eyes were still closed, as she appeared to be slightly breathless.

The sudden sound of whistling nearby caused them to finally turn their heads away from one another. The Maître d' and the valet worker at the French restaurant were watching them in amusement.

He couldn't help but smile as Elena began to giggle and blush adorably.

"Well I suppose that's our cue?" he smirked before again extended his arm to her. "Come on. I'll walk you home."

She nodded appreciatively as she once again wrapped her arm around his before falling in sync with his every step as he continued to lead her down the street and towards the path that would eventually lead her home.


End file.
